Wait for period or TTC now?

[Picklesandpies]

Hi,

I had a mmc at 7+4 last week (it was just a gestational sac) and I have just stopped bleeding after a week. It's been a bit stop start but now it almost looks as though I might be coming up to ovulation going by my cm (I'm not saying I am though as I have no idea how these things work.)

The nurse at EPU said wait for period before TTC again but gynae doctor said it's just for dating purposes that they say that. I haven't been offered a scan to check everything has 'gone' but I can't imagine it starting again now.

Is it safe to TTC again now or is it safest to wait for my period first? This is all new to me and I'm a bit confused by the different advice online.

Thank you.

My other question is - how long does it take to get a negative pregnancy test? Mine was still positive yesterday on a frer despite nurse saying she thought it would have been negative if I'd been seen on Friday last week (I went in on Wednesday). HCG was 152 Friday.

I would wait for a negative pregnancy test before trying again. I fell pregnant again straight after a MC and the initial weeks of the second pregnancy were quite fraught with worry over whether it was a new pregnancy or a complication from the miscarriage, even with medical scans. It was a healthy pregnancy and my son is now three. I also miscarried in Feb and am currently trying again without waiting for a period. I believe that advice is just to make dating the pregnancy easier. But if you HCG is 150+, I would wait until it drops back to prepregnancy levels.

I was told to do a home pregnancy test after 2-3 weeks which should be negative by then.

Thanks for the advice both. Sorry for your losses @AnnaKissed. Seems sensible to wait then. I don't think I could handle any more uncertainty at the moment anyway. I'll test again in a week and see what's what. x

Hi @Picklesandpies

I had a miscarriage at the end of December which was natural mc at 7-8 weeks of a 6 week pregnancy. I ovulated ~2 weeks after I miscarried and fell pregnant on that cycle without a period. I had made sure I'd had a negative test before (was negative by a week and a bit post mc) and because of that was quite happy that the new BFP and symptoms were a new pregnancy but I guess it depends on how comfortable you'd feel in the situation anxiety wise.
Unfortunately I also miscarried that pregnancy & had a mmc found on my 12 weeks scan couple of weeks ago (pregnancy stopped at 9.5 weeks). I don't think it was related as many people have successful outcomes conceiving on the first cycle post mc but I am planning on having one period this time as just seems wrong not to after not having one for 5 months now!
I think I need it this time to build
My emotional and physical strength too.

Thanks for sharing your experience @Jessabean. I'm sorry you have been having a hard time . Maybe that is the way to go, I just need to have a negative test before ttc. I'm really surprised that it isn't negative yet as my hcg was 722 last Wednesday and 152 on the Friday which seems a quick drop. I feel ready mentally, I just don't want to do anything dangerous. It's very hard isn't it - I don't want to waste any potential extra fertility but maybe that lasts into the next proper cycle.

I hope you are doing 'ok' by the way @Jessabean. Sounds really tough. Fingers crossed that time to heal will bring you some luck soon. Hope you have lots of support around you x

Hi Ladies, so sorry for your losses.

@Picklesandpies, I had surgery for my mmc on 21st March and have only just got a negative test (kept showing a faint faint positive!), and I agree it's probably best to wait till then just to save any confusion. Though my partner and I are ttc straight away, so I think it's fair to say once you've got the all-clear from your mc you can ttc as soon as you're up to it - I'm sure when your body is ready it will happen. That said, it's such a horrid thing to go through, so be patient and kind to yourself. (I should listen to my own advice too!)

@AnnaKissed, sorry to hear about your losses - but it's nice to hear a positive story of ttc after a mc. There's hope for us all! (sending you baby dust this time round!)

Sorry to hear about your losses, too @Jessabean - that's really rough. Take some time out to heal and recover. I wish you the best of luck when you try again!

Sorry for infiltrating this thread - just reaching out for support/understanding/stories of hope now that I'm ready to ttc after what turned out to be the worst birthday ever last month...

I've never known such strength until I started hearing from women who had miscarried. You're all amazing

@jade92 what a lovely message. Thanks for posting. It cams just at the right time (I've only just read it) - as yet again I've had a call from a local mw to sort out booking in appointments etc. It's the third time it's happened despite EPU recording a mmc over a week ago. Not the best communication!

Good luck with TTC again. It does feel daunting and it's a shame because I want to have the 'two lines = baby' mentality again! Im not sure how I will feel if I see BFP again. I'm sure we will all get there eventually but my goodness it's a rollercoaster. I will follow your advice and wait for a negative test result before TTC again - if it happens before next period that's great but if not that's ok too. A bit of extra time to get back to normal might not be such a bad thing. Thanks for sharing your experience with how long it takes to get a negative result. I've stopped bleeding (I think - I have said this three times!) so it's nice to not have that to deal with.

It's nice to speak to someone who has gone through the same thing so feel free to keep in touch

Best of luck with this month x

@Picklesandpies god, the bleeding was so exhausting (both mentally and physically!), and finally stopped for me about a week after my surgery (having been bleeding for 3-4 weeks in total, I was glad to finally have it end!) Hopefully that's the last of it for you too. My hormones and everything definitely took a couple of weeks post-surgery to settle back to normal. I've a feeling I was ovulating last weekend (according to cm) but I don't know if that's possible as I'm only now 3 weeks post-surgery (but I guess if I count the surgery as cd1...?)

I'm so sorry the mw keeps pestering you! That's no doubt the last thing you want to hear. Hopefully they've got the message now!

Lovely to hear back from you though - do keep in touch and I hope our journeys get a bit easier for us all from here on in. I guess all any of us can do is take it one day at a time. x

Hi @picklesandpies, just wanted to give you another perspective- I had an incomplete mc in feb, (slightly complicated as needed a few scans at EPU) was told I’d know it was complete when I got a negative pregnancy test.
Eventually in the middle of March at scan they said my uterus lining looked back to non pregnant ‘normal’ but as I was still getting a positive test they did bloods and they were rising indicating a new pregnancy.
I went in again a week later for another scan and saw a sac but no embryo, which is hopefully because it was too soon, but now have a slightly tense wait to go back!
So it is possible but the risk is that it could all happen again and baby hasn’t developed or it could work out fine- stuck in limbo!
Wishing everyone good luck 🍀

Ah hey there again @Picklesandpies - I've just come on here wondering the same thing. Think I started miscarrying two days ago at 9 weeks. Pregnancy only measuirng 6 when scanned yesterday at 9+1. I hadn't thought about getting a negative pregnancy test before trying. Seems strange to be buying tests with the purpose of getting a negative...

@Coffee3 that sounds awfully stressful. I hope the baby does develop!

Oh @BadBadBeans - so sorry to see you here. What prompted you to get an early scan? It's obviously nice to speak to you again but wish it was under different circumstances. How are you feeling (physically and emotionally?) I found first two or three days very hard in both ways but it's getting easier now that bleeding has stopped and I've had a break away in some lovely countryside to get head space. Ironically (given my post about him going to the gym the night I started miscarrying) my husband has cried much more than me. I seem to have got it out of my system is one big session and only cried once or twice since.

I took a test this morning - a frer - and it's still faintly positive. Like you say, very odd to be buying them for this reason. I must admit, we got a bit carried away this morning (first time since mc) and I think I may be ovulating going by cm so we will see what happens. Test is so faint so I'm not too worried if I fall pregnant again this month. We will pay for early scan to ascertain dating if necessary.

Do hope you are being looked after - really, really sorry to hear your news. I know we were both anxious about lack of symptoms. So sad. Hopefully we will have better luck next time round .

@Coffee3 Thanks so much for sharing your experience with me. I can see how it's easier to know your lmp before TTC again. It's just difficult to want to wait when you don't know how long it will take to return. I do hope you have good news at your next scan.

@Picklesandpies yes would be nicer to be talking on the previous board! I had some brown blood that seemed like more than spotting, followed by some small black clots and a little red blood. Got referred to EPU yesterday and had a scan there. I did have a little cry behind the curtain as I was getting dressed again, and a little cry outside the hospital, but other than that have been all right really. Like you, I knew deep down something wasn't right. My husband is very supportive of me. I don't think he is too upset himself. He is quite pragmatic about things - he drove me nuts in my first pregnancy by refusing to get excited until I was about 30 weeks! Physically I am starting to cramp and pass some more heavy looking stuff. Bit scared of it being painful later on.

I'm glad you are feeling better emotionally now and hope your husband feels better soon too. That's quite exciting re trying again! Got to admit sex is far from my mind at the moment but I'm keen to use that increased fertility so once the bleeding has stopped I'll see what I think.

Hope we both have more luck soon x

@BadBadBeans That sounds very similar to my experience. I'm about to get off a train so afraid this is a bit short but just wanted to share what helped me re pain (I'm afraid I did have labour type pains during the night but that was night 2 so maybe you won't get them now) - I had supply of ibuprofen and kept myself dosed up constantly for a few days, lay on a towel so I wasn't worrying about that, hot water bottle did make bleeding a bit heavier, as did the shower but it did help and also just lying in bed eating things I shouldn't and reading magazines to take my mind off it. Told my dc I had bad period pains which seemed to be believed.

Getting off train now but thinking of you - sorry if above seems rather brief!

Oh, I also passed what looked like a small placenta - it felt strange but not painful coming out. Only telling you this so you are not as surprised as I was.

Hope nothing I said upset you @BadBadBeans. I was in a rush so may not have worded things as well as I could have x

@Picklesandpies oh please don't worry, I don't find it upsetting - just incredibly helpful. I find the unknown scarier than anything; I'd always far rather be prepared so it is really helpful to hear the detail of your experience, especially about things like the placenta. Sorry it was a bit grim for you. I hadn't thought of a towel - that is a great idea. Things are definitely ramping up a bit now so I feel much better to be aware of what might be to come. I'm glad you managed to rest up a bit, and that your dc swallowed your cover story. Really appreciate you taking the time to tell me this xx

Glad what I said didn't upset you @BadBadBeans. I'm on my way home now after watching a film - nice to do something 'normal'. Hope you manage to get some sleep tonight and it's not too painful.

@Picklesandpies Oh good for you; hope the film was good! I've cancelled what I was supposed to be doing today and tomorrow just in case I end up in pain. But to be honest at the moment it is just like a period. DS has just gone down for a nap so I'm going to curl up in bed with chocolate and a book. x

Hey ladies,

I started having dark spotting today (brown) and mild cramps... anyone experienced similar after mmc/surgical management? I had my op 3.5 weeks ago & bleeding stopped a week after. Could this be the start of my period or my body just getting rid of any final stuff?
We also dtd 9 & 6 days ago but I don’t want to get my hopes up thinking it might be implantation bleeding...
Anyone experienced similar? x

Hi @jade92,

Hope you are ok. I'm afraid I don't have any experience post surgical management but I would say it sounds like a period or implantation. I can't imagine you would have anything else to come away after having a break from bleeding. Hope it is implantation for you.

@BadBadBeans glad you feel generally ok. Hope you have managed to have a relaxing day. X

Thanks for your response, @Picklesandpies. The spotting has continued today (though it's only just started up again), so I reckon it's probably my period... if so, I've a feeling the worst is yet to come! It's very light and no cramps as of yet but I'm bracing myself for the worst.

Anyone have any insight into what to expect from first period post MC/surgery?

I'm feeling so tired and emotional - I so miss being pregnant and this feels like the official closing ceremony. It's making me so sad. (And just when I thought I was getting better!)

Hopefully next cycle we'll have more luck TTC. I guess I just have to be patient.

Hope you ladies are all doing okay x

Hi all,

I started miscarrying on Saturday, had it confirmed at the hospital on Monday. I was 5 weeks so the physical side of things hasn't been too bad. It helps to read all of your experiences although I am sorry that you are all going through this too!
I am thinking about tic again but just not sure how I feel about that yet.

Sorry to hear that @Anyday88. Look after yourself and get lots of rest. It hit me a week after it finished when I felt absolutely shattered for a couple of days. I do feel a lot better now though, and I'm sure you will too x