Wait for period or TTC now?

[Picklesandpies]

Hi,

I had a mmc at 7+4 last week (it was just a gestational sac) and I have just stopped bleeding after a week. It's been a bit stop start but now it almost looks as though I might be coming up to ovulation going by my cm (I'm not saying I am though as I have no idea how these things work.)

The nurse at EPU said wait for period before TTC again but gynae doctor said it's just for dating purposes that they say that. I haven't been offered a scan to check everything has 'gone' but I can't imagine it starting again now.

Is it safe to TTC again now or is it safest to wait for my period first? This is all new to me and I'm a bit confused by the different advice online.

Thank you.

@Anyday88 I hope it all goes smoothly for you physically. I think (hope!) I'm coming out the other side of mine now. Best of luck with TTC again when you feel ready. x

Glad you are feeling a bit better @BadBadBeans. Hope it didn't get any worse for you. It's funny now, I feel as though being pregnant and the mc were a sort of dream - just feel a bit detached from it all. Not sure whether that's a good or bad thing but do feel a lot better. Hope you are fully recovered soon.

@Picklesandpies I know just what you mean about it seeming unreal. No, it's not been bad at all for me really. I did have some slight dizziness a few times this morning, but I made a judgment call that it was because I'd not eaten or drunk enough early on, and actually I've been fine for the whole of the rest of the day. I assume if something were wrong the dizziness would have persisted! (I am now feeling a bit dizzy typing this but I am HUGELY suggestible where fainting is concerned, so I am probably just bringing it on myself by thinking about feeling dizzy! Ha!) Looking forward to my scan on Friday in a weird way now, and really hoping they will tell me that things have progressed as they should. x

@BadBadBeans funnily enough I had a few dizzy spells a few days ago. Wonder whether we could do with some iron tablets?! Glad it's not been too awful for you.

I wasn't offered a scan. Is that standard to receive one after the mc has finished? I wish they had given me one as it would be nice to know everything was as it should be again. We have had sex twice since the bleeding stopped - it's very strange not knowing when to expect a period and not knowing whether I would be 'late'. I did have a negative digital test a few days ago though so that's good. I will take my last frer test tomorrow and hope for no faint line!

Hope your scan goes well on Friday. z

@Picklesandpies To be totally honest, the scan is supposed to be to confirm that the baby hasn't grown!!!! Which, erm, obviously it won't have. I thought about cancelling but I am SUCH a worrier that I thought that actually I'd rather just keep the appointment and see if they can tell me what is going on. I know a few people who were offered scans after miscarrying so I guess maybe it depends on which NHS trust you are under. Hope they will scan me and that I won't be wasting anyone's time (including my own!).

Congrats on the negative test (so bizarre!)! Hope your FRER is neg too. Yes, maybe iron tablets would be a plan. I am going to buy a load of spinach tomorrow (I'm vegetarian!). x

Hi Anyday88

Sorry to find you here, and very sorry for your loss.

Give yourself the time to heal and recover (both physically and emotionally), it's such a horrid thing to go through and it really does take time - even now, four weeks on, I'll have "bad days" where I feel so low and sad. Grief comes in waves and often takes you by surprise (or so I've found at least).

By all means, ttc again whenever you're ready (and once you've got the go-ahead from the doctor) but be patient with yourself. Look after you.

Take each day as it comes, and we're all here if you need us x

@Picklesandpies I bought some spatone iron supplement this morning. I hate taking iron tablets as they constipate me, but this is iron-rich water and supposed to be easier on the digestive system. I had it in a glass of apple juice and tonic water and it was fine. Thought it can't do any harm, and it may well help! Supplements were 3 for 2 in boots so I also got two lots of folic acid with vitamin d. Because I am being optimistic!!! Xx

Thanks for all the advice and kind words. I have find myself feeling much better overall emotionally today. Physically I am doing much better too and the bleeding doesn't seem to be too heavy so hoping it doesn't go on for too long.
Hope you are all doing as well as is possible at times like this x

@Anyday88 I'm so glad that you feel better emotionally and physically. Fingers crossed it is all over soon for you.

@Picklesandpies I felt guilty so I rang the hospital to let them know that I have miscarried, and to ask what to do about the scan, especially as I'm still bleeding. The lady on the phone was LOVELY and told me that I should definitely keep the appointment and come in because they would like to scan and check me over, and not to worry that I'm still bleeding. Actually she almost made me cry, she was so nice. It seems a shame you weren't offered one, as obviously it's bloody helpful to know what is going on in there (or not, as the case may hopefully be). I suppose you could always ring and query it if you felt it was something that would be helpful to you?

I wasn't offered another scan, although I did have one on Monday where they couldn't see anything other thank a thickened lining of my womb.
I am glad they were kind to you @picklesandpies

Is it okay to join? I have just had confirmation of my miscarriage, which we believe happened at approx 4 weeks. I feel so sad, but also a little guilty, I have 2 beautiful children and feel guilty that I would like more. Some people aren't lucky enough to have one, let alone two. Oh there I go, crying again. When are we allowed to try again? x

@Muffin7 so sorry for your loss. Please don’t feel guilty - having children is not consolation for losing another. It’s a heartbreaking loss to have to go through no matter how far along you were or how many children you already have. Be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve.

In terms of ttc again, your doctor should be able to give you more info, but I think it’s more about being ready emotionally. Give yourself the time you need xx

Thank you @jade92 for your kind words. I haven't told anybody yet, just my husband, am hoping that talking a little will help.

I will speak to my GP next week I think, I have to go back to EPU for one final blood test on Monday so can ask some questions then.

Thanks again

I found talking (and writing) about it the best thing I could have done. It can be such a lonely and isolating time and we need to surround ourselves with a support network. These forums have been great for me to, so use us if it helps :) x

*too

Hello ladies
Im a week in from mmc and surgery.
We’ve decided we want another child so we’ve going to keep going. It was weighing on my mind straight after the mmc. They loss plus the thought of not trying again was hard to bear. Thankfully DH and i are on the same page and he has been a star looking after me. I want to have one period before we try, just to reassure myself im back to normal and everything is working again. Won’t be trying again until June though possibly... depends when my period arrives!! Feeling back to pre pg self symptom wise so hopefully wont be too long.
Good luck to those trying again xxx

@Jade92 I think I may start writing down my thoughts, that usually helps. I'm also going to speak to my Mum, she has been through this so will be a great shoulder to cry on.

@Ithinkthatsenough I'm so sorry for your loss, but it sounds like you are very positive. xx

@BadBadBeans good luck for your scan today. I hope it goes 'well'. Like you say, all rather strange hoping for things to have gone back to normal. At least you can go not feeling like a fraud as they know your situation - I would have felt like that too!

Thanks for tip re Spatone supplement. I'll look into that. I used to take liquid iron but stopped. That didn't make me constipated so might buy some more if Spatone significant more expensive.

At least it's beautiful weather today - good for the soul!

@Picklesandpies thank you. Scan was okay. No pregnancy to be seen now, but she said there was still 'something' sitting above my cervix waiting to come out, so I guess I'm still going. She gave me a load of leaflets (at least one of which would have been helpful last week!) and talked me through options. I want to continue with expectant management for now. She said I might bleed for another couple of weeks yet. She said once the bleeding has stopped, take a pregnancy test, and if it's negative then all good - if it's positive, then ring them up and they will investigate further. My main worry with leaving it to come out naturally was infection but she said that as it's all very recent then she felt it was perfectly safe to wait another couple of weeks. So that was good.

I had a cry afterwards. My husband asked if it was because it's all pretty much happened now so I feel worse. I don't think it was that; I think it was just being in the hospital with all the new baby gifts in the cafe and the pregnant ladies coming in... and actually also the folder that the leaflets came in, which had a very sweet little picture of flowers on the front that someone has obviously taken the time and trouble to stick on every miscarriage folder... Oh, I don't know. I feel better now I'm home and have cuddled my boy.

Yes, the weather definitely helps!

Hi @Picklesandpies and @BadBadBeans - hope you girls are doing ok. I had my 12 week scan today and sadly it's a mmc. Due to have medical management this week but not sure which one to go for. This thread is really useful, thank you. I think we'll wait for a period after but the urge is very much just to try again!

@toasterstrudle oh no, I'm so so so sorry to hear that :( How awful. Are you okay? Did you have any inkling something might be awry? Oh, I feel so sad for you.

Totally with you on the urge to try again. I suddenly really want to be pregnant in a much stronger way than I felt before.

Hope you are being really well looked after. Please feel free to ask anything you like if you think I might be able to help x

Only this last week really @BadBadBeans but weirdly nothing had grown beyond 8 weeks as it had reabsorbed back into the sac. I think the scan was the worst bit, have felt ok after, just a bit sad. And like you say, a real urge to be pregnant again which seems a bit counterintuitive as obviously there's no rush. Must be the hormones. How are you getting on now, has your bleeding stopped? It's both sad and comforting to see so many familiar names here.

@toasterstrudle I didn't know it could reabsorb into the sac. That must have been really difficult to hear. I'm glad you feel mostly okay. That is how I felt too. I think having a child already made an enormous difference to me - I really think I wouldn't have accepted this as calmly otherwise.

Yes obviously there is no rush to be pregnant but I just feel like there is! Actually, interestingly, I am mostly finding myself really craving newborn cuddles. I guess in my head I already know I'm now going to find any future pregnancy extra-worrying, so the bit I want to get to is the bit where you actually have the baby!

Still bleeding here. I'm on day 10 of it now (counting day 1 as the evening where I first noticed a bit of brown stringy spotting) and it's settled down to mostly like a heavy period the last two days. Although after the nurse scanned me today I cramped for a while and lost some more clots. I guess maybe the scan set things off again, which I was actually quite pleased about - I just want it over and done with! She said I might bleed for another couple of weeks . Hoping that is not the case!!!!

I feel like we had a load of losses in our November thread, but maybe that's just because I've been part of it and so I'm feeling it more acutely, I don't know. Brings it home how common an experience miscarriage is x

@BadBadBeans No, neither did I! Urgh, I'm so sorry you're still bleeding - that's just rubbish. Really hope it stops soon and doesn't continue for another couple of weeks. The moment I found out I just wanted them to say they could manage it there and then and it would all go away, but of course that's not the case. Have to decide on the meds or surgery next week as I'm unlikely to miscarry naturally given that my body hasn't noticed for at least 5 weeks. It's a very strange feeling, but I do agree - feel very very lucky to have DS. I too am craving the newborn stage, must just be the flood of hormones I think. Fingers crossed things sort for us both soon and we can move towards boarding another bus x

@toasterstrudle I don't mind really about the bleeding; I had expected it to drag on a bit. But yes I would prefer if it stopped in the next few days! Oh a mmc must be horrid; at least I had the warning of the bleeding and therefore the knowledge that my body was probably going to get rid of it on its own. Not surprised you just wanted them to deal with it asap. Did they talk you through the options? You could always ring the midwife if you felt you needed to talk it through more with a professional? Yes fingers crossed - maybe we will all see each other on another bus in the near future! That would be lovely.