BFP after IVF - anyone want to join me in the wait for first scan?

[HopefulllHolly]

Sensitive

Hi everyone,
I’ve just had our first cycle of IVF and although we had very slim odds of it working (low AMH, low AFC, male factor, which led to only 2 mature eggs which thankfully led to one perfect day 5 blast). We are absolutely amazed and over the moon that it worked despite everything, but I am really struggling with the wait for first scan. I almost feel with infertility (we TTC for 6/7 years) that it does make you anxious and I’m finding the wait to my first scan (6th June) unbearable. I don’t want to seem ungrateful but I really wish I could enjoy it or relax a little but instead I am worrying about miscarriage and things I can’t control. For me this has been the worst bit of IVF so far, and I’d love to just be able to be happy so I don’t look back (if it does work) and wish that I hadn’t been so anxious and scared.

Is anyone else in the same boat who wants to keep me company? 🥹 Or can provide some tips on how to distract myself and cope better? I know there’s nothing I can do to change the outcome and what will be will be, but I don’t think I’ve ever worried so much in my life.

Thank you 🙏

@DippyDuck19 Oh you poor thing that sounds rough! Hope the ball helps! Really feel for you! Mine isn’t as bad as yours - just really bad nausea and headaches. Pretty tired again too. What time is your scan on Thursday?

@HopefulllHolly mine is at 8:20 on Thursday. Glad it's nice and early! What time is yours on Wednesday??

@DippyDuck19 Oh that’s a great time! Glad it’s nice and early! Mines at 11:20 and then obstetrician after. I’ve taken the day off so going to see my parents after for lunch and tell them what we’re having. My mum is convinced it’s a boy so she’s going to have a nice surprise ☺️

It's so exciting there's so many scans going ok at the moment!!
Congratulations to everyone who's had one this week & they are all perfect!

I seriously can't wait for the pregnancy glow to kick in & to start feeling better, it can't be much longer now 🤞🏼

@Natty2 the anxiety is the worst part of all of this!! I feel like it's taking all the happiness of this journey away.

@ThePeachGoose I'm so glad it went well for you ... it's such a relief isn't it! Well, until the wait for the next one kicks in 🙈

@DippyDuck19 I feel for you! It sounds like you have it soooo bad. I hope you feel better soon. Good luck with your scan this week!!

@HopefulllHolly I love hobnob! I'm carrying around a box of breadsticks with me 😂 they seem to help at the moment so I'm going with it. Aww that's so lovely you have a bump!! I can't wait for mine, I keep checking everyday & asking my partner if he can see it .. but my tummy is just flat in the morning & a massive bloat in the evening .. another waiting game for the bump lol .. Good luck with your scan this week!!

@Fluffyted Did I miss when your 12 week scan is? Surely must be soon if you haven’t had it already! Haha bread sticks are a good shout too, might try them once I’ve gotten sick of hobnobs (hopefully never!)
Yeah I’m surprised I have a bump so early. It was bloat but now it’s kind of changed shape and comes out from below my ribs now - it’s quite noticeable!

Thanks @HopefulllHolly @DippyDuck19 ! More or less on the consultant discharging me; he told me to start my antenatal care, but that he's happy to do a week 9 scan for me for extra reassurance which was sooooo nice of him.

As @Fluffyted said, the stress-o-meter has been reset and now we're waiting for the next scan lol But I'm trying to stay positive as for now, everything is going as it should, and I have quite a few things to keep me occupied over the next few weeks.

Tbh I feel more overwhelmed than relieved today. Ofc I feel relieved and so happy to have passed this milestone, but I'm realising that I didn't let myself believe that this could end up in a pregnancy AT ALL and I didn't even bother to work out what happens if it does. So today I've ordered a couple of pregnancy books, I'm looking into what's required for travelling while pregnant, tomorrow I'll do some research into my antenatal care, I need to find some summer dresses that cover my bump for this work event at the end of the month... it's a lot. But it's a good problem to have and I just need to take it one step at a time and it will be good, I know.

Thanks everyone for the well wishes. 🥰
when did you start getting your symptoms as in “morning” sickness, etc?
So far I only get twinges every here and there and my boobs ache. :) It’s not like I’m looking forward to it, but somehow the symptoms might make me feel like everything is still okay until I have my first ultrasound.

Congrats all on the positive scans!! Such a milestone 😊😊

Question for the group on antenatal care, as I think that there's a few ladies in the group who have been with Guy's ACU as well - @DippyDuck19 and @Leaf86 if I'm not mistaking? Apologies if I got it wrong.

So my closest antenatal care and maternity would be King's, and they seem to do well on antenatal care but "need improvement" on maternity. There's also Lewisham Hospital but I so rarely had good experiences there and their maternity also "needs improvement". I could try referring myself to Guy's, though my current postcode isn't in their catchment area like my previous house annoyingly, and even if they do consider me, is it realistic to allow a 20-45 min cab ride (depending on traffic) to the maternity if I go into labour early? What are everyone's thoughts on this?

Also, what books or apps are you using during your pregnancy and have found helpful? Or how do you hide your bump, if you haven't disclosed your pregnancy to the world yet? So many questions...

@summerchild92 I've only had half a day of nausea in week 4, one full day of nausea in week 5, and other than that I'm sensitive to strong perfumes or food smells, but I don't feel like throwing up. From what I've seen in this thread, from week 7 onwards it hits you like a truck and it's constant 😆but you're right, it is a reassuring feeling early on if you get it, even for a little bit

@ThePeachGoose I was under Guys ACU but I live in Kent so am no help with their maternity services I'm afraid. I have seen some good comments on here about Lewisham Hospital though.
@LouP87 was also at Guys ACU.

@ThePeachGoose Ah that’s great he’s giving you another scan! Saves the pennies too. In terms of other stuff you’re feeling overwhelmed with - I find making lists helpful for stress management. I also need to find some good books - I’ll share some suggestions once I’ve done some research ☺️. Please share any you hear about too! I’ll ask my friend who is the most organised and natural mum I’ve ever seen what she recommends too.
Travelling whilst pregnant I think it’s just making sure you have good insurance, no travelling past a certain week, and make sure you have had all your jabs if needed for certain countries. Where are you off to next? I think Vinted is good for maternity clothes, but to be honest I’ve just bought some stretchy stuff from h+m and trousers with tie waistbands in a size bigger than usual and I think they’ll probably see me through. Most of my clothes are oversized anyway so I think I’ll be fine for winter clothes mostly!
I’m pretty sure you can book for any hospital you like - I’ve gone with one that’s about 35/40 min drive from us but is close to my parents and friends so we can drop the dog off last minute if needed and will have lots of visitors ☺️ I basically chose it because the NICU and maternity services are the best rated. I then have community midwives who I see close to home for my other appointments.

@Edf Good luck with your scan tomorrow! How are you feeling lovely? Excited?

Oh and @summerchild92 I started feeling nauseous about week 5/6 but it really kicked in week 7 and was gone by week 8.5 but then came back again in week 11. I can smell things really well but they aren’t making me feel ill or anything - just smell really strong. Like my favourite perfume I don’t like wearing as it feels overpowering. But really everyone is different - some of us have had terrible sickness and symptoms and others have gotten away with not too many atm! So don’t worry if you aren’t feeling lots or are - it doesn’t mean much! 😊

@DippyDuck19 Right, it was LouP87! I knew it was someone with L thank you. Yeah, unfortunately both Lewisham and King's seem to have a "hit & miss" reputation but you're right, mumsnet does seem to favour Lewisham over King's. Based on reviews and friends' experiences, I get the feeling with both that it all comes down to your luck on the day whether they are well staffed or not, which is a terrifying thought

@HopefulllHolly I'm just now going through the NHS pages and trying to make a list. So far I've ordered "What to expect when you're expecting" and "Expecting better" because they're the most popular, but I'll decide when they arrive whether I'll keep them. I've also signed up to the NHS Start For Life newsletters.

Travel-wise, BA seems to want a note from a doctor, probably even more so if you're showing I imagine. I need to check other airlines too. And yes, I have a task to check my current travel insurance. I'm supposed to go to the US for work in September and then for holiday in November (which will hopefully become our baby moon!), but I'm looking at moving that trip to October to avoid the discomfort of the third trimester. They're both long haul flights so I need to make sure I take all the precautions for DVT too I think.

I will give Guy's a go then based on what you're saying (well, if they take me). It's important to feel that you're in good hands. Thank you!

@ThePeachGoose Ive just ordered these:
Expecting Better

The Modern Midwife's Guide to Pregnancy, Birth and Beyond

What to Expect When You're Expecting 5th Edition

Im a pretty quick reader - if anyone wants them when I’ve done let me know, happy to post them! 😊
Which reminds me I have a box of IVF books that I need to offer out too - maybe I’ll wait until a bit later for superstitious reasons. Is that silly? 🤪

SO happy for you! Me tomorrow 🤞
Manifesting your positive energy my way eee

@HopefulllHolly thanks! Apprehensive more than excited i think at the mo but also excited… hmm I just don’t know how I feel haha! Indecisive! I have found the 3.5 week wait till this scan went quicker than any of the other waits so my anxiety must be decreasing 😂 hope your feeling well and excited for yours- is it tues or Wednesday??

@Edf Haha yeah I feel the same. Nervous but excited. I’m sure it’ll all be ok. Excited to see how much baby has grown (hopefully). Oh you must be coping better than me then 😂😂 I had a scan 2.5 weeks ago and it feels like forever ago! That’s great if your anxiety isn’t as bad - I’m really hoping I feel like that after this scan. I definitely feel better but still terrified when I spend too long thinking about things that could go wrong.
Yeah mine is on Wednesday - two more days to get through! What time is yours tomorrow?

@HopefulllHolly im wondering if it was because I knew I had so long to wait that my brain just allowed me to chill a bit 🤷🏻‍♀️ who knows, just hope it doesn’t bite me in the bum so to speak!

8.40 tomorrow luckily so don’t have to hang around waiting, what about you?
husband been on the drink all weekend in Dublin for a birthday lads weekend, due back at midnight, he will be sleeping down stairs with the pooches (I also have sausages!) if he so much as starts to snore and hope to god he doesn’t stink the ultrasound out with booze!

@Edf 😂😂 you sound just like me! My other half came back from the football the other night and I made him sleep upstairs because the smell of booze made me heave. But our little sausage sleeps in our room (I blame the breeder who told us to have him in our bed 😂 luckily he sleeps in his own bed now!). I wish he slept downstairs to be honest, although hes been lovely company this week while my partner has been away.

Ah that’s great your scan is so early! Make your other half have a shower tonight and in the morning and leave him a pint of water out. Hopefully he won’t stink too bad! 😅 My scan isn’t until 11:20 but I have the day off so going to go over and drop the dog with my parents and then go to hospital and then spend the day with them (they’ve just moved house from Kent to Harrogate so it’s so nice having them close - especially when we are having a baby!). Going to tell them it’s a little girl then too.

Told my partner today too - he cried! Was so lovely. Makes it feel real knowing it’s a little girl growing in there. Im excited to see her again on Wednesday - I just hope it’s all ok! No sign to think otherwise so fingers crossed 🤞 she’s happy and chilling in there.

@ThePeachGoose we were with the Evewell, but our hospital is Guys & St Thomas (well, St Thomas, that’s where the maternity unit is). That’s also where I was for my previous two pregnancies. It’s also a drive for us (about 30 mins across town) but I think it’s worth it to be at such a good hospital and my midwife said they are used to Londoners needing a bit more notice to be told to come in (if in labour). I can recommend them and will go back this time too.

@summerchild92 nausea started for me at week 6 and slowly ramped up!

Good luck tomorrow @Edf !

Am massively struggling to keep up with this thread (😂😂) but also good luck to anyone else having scans tomorrow!

@HopefulllHolly haha ours slept upstairs in bed or bedroom with us too- got to admit we were a little mean and got them downstairs about a month before dd was born- had a month of howling 🙈 felt soooo guilty!!

aw did he that is so lovely ❤️ it makes it so real! And how nice you got scan day plans to make it more special than going back home and working - I feel I made a poor life choice here now!

Harrogate is lovely, and how nice that they oare moving up- keep trying to get my parents over to the north east but as much as the intention is their, the effort is seriously lacking 😂😂

@ThePeachGoose I was with Guys ACU, but am with Queen Elizabeth in Woolwich now, as it’s 2 minute drive from where I live and their Birth Centre was lovely!

Tried to do a bit of shopping today as none of my clothes fit any more, the only place I could find anything was Primark and even that was slim pickings!

Anyone else struggling with constantly feeling like crap? I’m so so happy and grateful to be pregnant, but I am so so fed up of feeling crap all the time! I’ve already called in sick for work tomorrow, I was supposed to do a tender presentation to a prospective client but I just can’t bring myself to do it. My colleagues don’t know I’m pregnant yet, meant to be telling work this week some time, but luckily one has jumped in to cover me!

@LouP87 I'm living in leggings at the mo. Am going to buy some maternity bits after my scan on Thursday as nothing fits! I also need petite length as only 5ft1 so making it even more difficult. I've ordered some 2 pairs of maternity jeans (never worn with tags) on vinted for £5.

I also feel rubbish too. Have a cold/flu/possibly Covid at the mo and also calling in sick tomorrow. Have no intention of going in for a few days, I need the rest. The coughing is exacerbating the nausea and vomiting! I never expected to get to this stage so feel very under prepared for what it is like!

Hope you start feeling better soon x