FET/IVF July 2023 - Thread 3

[Olivia199]

As always, huge apologies if I miss people, all welcome!

@IVFfirsttimer91
@10degreessunny
@wtawtaw
@EllieCatMom
@DauntedAF
@Lauralozzle
@Walker12
@loulamay
@beehappy19
@SH998
@ASGIRC
@orchid29
@IVFround1
@Sangels267

@ASGIRC yeah we are going for a safari theme! Gender neutral and also we are both huge animal lovers and are actually thinking of going on safari as baby’s second ‘big’ holiday when they’re 5 or so 😂. Also we love yellow, and yellow fits in well with the theme. I found this on Etsy, and fell in love with it https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/894195171/safari-wallpaper-jungle-wall-mural?click_key=16b49da5c4301a52218b4cf8538184763977b462%3A894195171&click_sum=5aeaec96&ref=hp_rf-1

Ive been taking progress pictures too, the top part of my stomach has started to ‘pop’ now too. It’s very weird, but also very exciting!

@IVFfirsttimer91 Oh wow that is really nice!!! Will you be doing a feature wall with it or the whole room?
My walls are textured, so no stencils or wallpaper for me, as it would probably rip!!

But Im just terrible at decorating anyway! 2 years later and there is still absolutely NOTHING on my walls!
I fear it will be the same with baby!

Im in two mind about a bump. On the one hand, exciting! On the other hand... I dont want one LOL. I cannot abide people touching me and that almost seems inevitable when you have a bump...
Also, I think maternity clothes are really ugly, so I dont want to wear them... which means trying to keep within my clothes for as long as possible! I think I will buy the trouser expanders!
And I havent told work and I dont want to until I am ready, so a bump would be unfortunate! LOL

Ugh going back to work is going to be HARD. I work shifts! Completely rotating, no pattern, and Im not sure how Im gonna cope with childcare at night and weekends, cause my mom still works full time...
Changing jobs is a definite possibility, but easier said than done!

@ASGIRC just one feature wall in that and then the rest the same yellow as my kitchen 😂.

Im not a very good decorator but my partner is thankfully! If it were left to me the baby’s room would be exactly the same colour as it is now.

I totally understand where you’re coming from! Though I’m not really fussed about people touching me, I am worried about the new clothes I’m going to have to buy. I don’t fit ANY of my jeans anymore which is a bit depressing, but my dresses and stuff still fit. I think I’m going to suck it up and buy some maternity skinny jeans and just accessorise with big jumpers :).

I really feel for you with the night time childcare issue. That must be really quite daunting, I’m really sorry to have no suggestions! If I think of anything I’ll be sure to say!

@ASGIRC money is definitely the best reason! Always!

Talking about money, I think I have the worst situation for maternity leave as I don't have any! 😭😭😭
I am a self employed so, I don't work I don't earn! I don't think I can take mpre than 2 months or I also risk to lose all my clients. It is a very tough decision for me.

No bump for me, only my belly fat 😁 which is not a lot, but some of my trousers are a bit tight.

For the nursery I also would like a safary theme! We love animals and my husband is a vet .

@Charming81 that’s a tricky situation! What is it that you do if that’s not too personal a question?

We initially thought jungle themed, but that’s what my SIL went for when she had her son, so we thought safari (same but slightly different?!?) I’m also a big aristocats fan so If we can’t get the wall decal in the size we want then I might just run with that 😂😂. My partner is less keen on that idea though!

I am a private tutor. I teach Italian online. I can't ask my students to stop for months, they will find someone else!

@Charming81 Oh thats really tough! I was freelance until June, and the reason I signed a contract was exactly that protection. not so much during the maternity leave, as in Portugal freelancers get the same as people with contracts (100% of your average pay of the first 6 of the last 8 months), but what about AFTER? Would I still have clients? And enough work?

I guess the only good thing is that, since you can work from home, you can give a lesson here and there just to keep the students going, but it is definitely not ideal.

Hope it works out for you!

In terms of my job, for the 1st year of the babys life, there are some protections, in terms of working hours, and shift patterns, but it is still tricky, particularly as a single parent.
My job cannot be done from home at all (I work in broadcast tv) so Im a bit "stuck". But Im sure Ill figure something out. Even if I have to take the baby with me 😂

Good luck for you scan tomorrow @Charming81! And happy 12 weeks.

I love that mural @IVFfirsttimer91, so nice. I can't wait to start planning the nursery, it's all very white in our spare room at the moment so a blank canvas.

I also have a bump but I've had one since transfer as everything got so swollen 😂 so I've got quite used to hiding it. Unsure whether any of it is baby yet or still just my big ovaries and bloating!

Mat pay situation is so varied isn't it, the stat pay in the UK really needs to be better. I am very fortunate in working for the NHS that I get quite a good maternity package but will still be an adjustment. I'm hoping to take as long off as possible to spend with the little one

@ASGIRC in fact my idea is to keep having some lessons one in a while, just to keep them happy. But this is an idea now that I don't have a baby! When (and if) it will be real, I might be not so easy. I am pretty sure that, with some of my students, I could have the lesson with the baby with me. Some of them, I've known them for years, they know all my long story of infertility and they would more than happy. We'll see!

@Walker12 thank you! I'll know in just a few hours! I hope I'll be able to sleep tonight

Ahh good luck for tomorrow @Charming81 what time is your scan? 🍀

Love all the animal themes! Can't wait to start on the nursery, not sure when we'll make a start. I really want to start buying things but wonder if it's still too early?!

@wtawtaw thanks 🤞🏻🐞🍀 The scan is at 12.30. I will update you.

I also would like to buy stuff, but at the moment I don't even look at the baby section in stores. I just feel it is still too early to relax 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Charming81 Youll see how you feel then!

Good luck with your scan!!!!!

The other day it occured to me that the baby might be born before Easter. Easter is a VERY BIG THING in Portugal, and in my family it is almost akin to Christmas.
Then today, on reddit, someone was asking what peoples plans ofr the holidays were, if they had due dates close to Thanksgiving/Christmas.

And everyone saying they are not leaving the house, and not going anywhere, sometimes with babies that are almost 2 months old...

And I am here thinking "If the baby does come early, and Im already out of hospital.. Could I make it???" LOL And it made me realise how that is such a portuguese thing, as the only other comment not in that vein was from a fellow portuguese person, saying no to christmas, cause they were still in hospital, but yes to NYE and every weekly family dinner since!

@ASGIRC Easter is quite early next year, 31st March. That means that your baby would be just a few days old. I don't agree with not leaving the house, but I would avoid to meet too many people all in once. Only because a newborn baby as no immune system at all and lots of different people in the room, holding it and kissing, it would freak me put 🤣 But I see nothing wrong in meeting family for a lunch if it is not too many people

@Charming81 I will not be making any decisions, cause who knows how Ill be feeling physically?? (let alone emotionally!!)
But my family is quite good with the not kissing a newborn baby. I think that would be ok.

As for how many people, tends to be around 25 ish LOL But it is all people that would probably visit in the first few days/weeks as well.

Again, I will play it by ear!

Yes, best thing to do is to not plan anything and decide when it is time.

@Charming81 good luck today lovely, enjoy every moment of it 😊

Scan done, all looked perfect! I still can't believe it 😍😍😍 nuchal translucency was 1.2 mm and all the other organs looked perfect and he's probably a boy 🩵💙 I am over the moon for the very first time since ivf madness has started. I am so relieved. She already gave me the result of the combined test and it is low risk. We have to wait for the Harmony next week 🤞🏻🐞🍀

@Charming81 that is fantastic! Congratulations💙💙💙💙 so so happy for you! Really glad it all went well! Are you going to book an early gender scan at 16 weeks to confirm? What did your gut tell you that you were having? Xx

@Charming81 Amazing!!! Great news!!!!
Im sure the Harmony will tell you everything is fine as well! And you will know if it is a boy for sure!!!

@ASGIRC @Charming81 what is the harmony?

@IVFfirsttimer91 it's a fetal DNA test, which checks for the trisomies and also the sex of the baby!

Ohh right!! Like Edwards and Downs and Pataus? I didn’t know I could find out the gender at the same time?!?! I feel cheated 😂

@IVFfirsttimer91 yes!! it tests for those and for the sex trisomies as well, which is why it can then tell you the sex!
It is EXPENSIVE though! And I think it can only be done privately. not sure on costs in the UK, but in Portugal its between 400 and 500 euros, so not spare change! But it is better than doing an amnio, and almost as accurate (I think they claim 99% on the Harmony)

I had the syndromes tested for on the NHS. I didn’t realise that it was a private thing too! That is a lot of money!!! I don’t know if I would have taken it up if it was going to cost hundreds. I’ve got my gender scan in under 2 weeks now, so just going to wait for that.

Hopefully all the tests from your harmony come back fine @Charming81! My results took around 10 days to come back on the NHS so hopefully if it’s a private thing they will come back faster!

@ASGIRC are you going to get the Harmony test too?

@IVFfirsttimer91 not unless my scan and combined result come back worrying.
My donor egg was 22 years old, so age is on my side on that regard. Obviously, it isnt a guarantee, but I dont think it makes sense to spend so much money if the combined test comes back with very low risk.

If my scan is inconclusive in terms of the sex, then I will book a scan to find that out!!

I was looking up options, and there was one with great prices, but they make a whole song and dance about "the experience" and the "bring your family for this unique moment" and it put me right off! And then I found out they also try to hard sell you staminal cell preservation. So That is a no go! Need to find a different one! LOL