Infertility general chat/support thread

[Roo45]

Not sure if this exists already, but I wondered if people fancied a thread just to vent and/or talk about things that have happened in their day that have either caused them to get upset or think a certain way due to fertility issues, regardless of where you are in the journey.

I feel like my friends who haven't got through this could never understand how infertility affects pretty much every part of my life now!

For example today I attempted to cook something complicated for some family members, it's quite rare that I cook for others even before the pandemic and I only make simple meals for myself. Anyway everything that could go wrong did and what I managed to salvage was largely uneaten.
I told my DH maybe the universe thinks I shouldn't have children because I'm so undomestic and can't cook for other people!

@CurbsideProphet the reason I’m worried is I saw a thread on here that they do it without lube and it can hurt and that stressed me right out. I have a slightly retroverted uterus too but never had a problem with smears, internal scans, or even the hycosy. Although that was the most stressful thing so far for me, it wasn’t actually that bad but I panicked a lot and had a freakout during it.

The thing is my doctor isn’t a consultant. Because Guys is a training hospital I have a very youthful doc. She was fine at the scan, but she wanted to give me way too high a dose for my AMH/AFC because she was basing it on my age and I had to say no. I know she’s probably done EC and ET before but it’s just making me worry.

@thislittlebird they use lots of lube! As for the EC and ET, if the doctor is not a consultant they will have a consultant with them during these procedures teaching and watching them. It’s a requirement to have a consultant there I believe if it’s a junior doc. So I’m sure it will be fine!

@BlueSilver23 is it based on hospital then? I saw women saying they said no lube because it can hurt the embryos on a thread a few weeks back. Oh good, I’m glad that’s a thing that they’re required to have a consultant with them! I was very concerned she’d be left to get on with it.

@thislittlebird I'm pretty sure they don't use lube because the embryo is very sensitive. We also were told both times no perfume / deodorant / hairspray etc.

@thislittlebird do you mean for scans/EC or for ET? Lots of lube for scans and EC (from what I remember from last week anyway!) but can’t speak for ET. As far as the doc doing the procedure, you can always request that consultant do it if you want and double check at your next appointment? Pretty sure they wouldn’t mind.

@BlueSilver23 yeah ET is what I mean. I read a thread about it and it freaked me out lol. I’m going to ask the nurse when we go in next, because I think it might make me less anxious.

@thislittlebird so glad you have a start date! I have a few psychological issues around smears etc due to a previous experience, I would hope you don't have too many issues and I think for most people it's absolutely fine! Sorry not been able to catch up on the whole thread, busy day at work xx

@Roo45 that must make it tough. my issues are more around medical procedures in general. I have quite a bit of anxiety and have been known to fly off the handle into a big panic before procedures in the past, which is very likely the first time I do all this. I might be ok, we’ll find out soon I guess.

@thislittlebird at my clinic when you go for egg retrieval they put you under sedation before they do anything at all, so no speculum and they don't even put your legs up until you're asleep. I know every clinic is different, but maybe this is something to ask about in advance so you know exactly what is going to happen on the day?

@CurbsideProphet it’s the transfer I’m concerned by really, for the collection will be sedated. I will ask the nurse how they do it when I see her.

@thislittlebird I found transfer very calm and gentle if that's any reassurance at all.

@CurbsideProphet yeah, it is. I read a thread that scared the shit out of me, I must avoid doing that again.

@thislittlebird I think that like anything people are more likely to post negative experiences on the internet (if that makes sense) 😬

And I also think that women who have no issues with their IVF treatment are probably less likely to be posting on forums, which means we're more likely to read about the negative / frightening experiences.

@CurbsideProphet yeah I know what you mean, it makes sense.

Ugh I just tested early 2 days until OTD and BFN, really not holding out much hope

Oh no @Roo45 💐
Obviously not going to give you any false platitudes here. Feeling for you 💐

Ah no, I’m really sorry @Roo45. If you want to vent you know where we are.

@Roo45 so sorry to hear that.

Thanks so much everyone means a lot xx

@Roo45 so sorry to hear that..sending you hugs and prayers xxx

So sorry to read that update @Roo45 - what a bloody disappointment. Mind yourself

Thanks, today was OTD and confirmed what k knew already, hoping you guys all have better luck xxx

@Roo45 so sorry to hear that, give yourself some time to grieve and spoil yourself for a bit.

@Roo45 do pamper yourself, you're in my thoughts! x

I was supposed to start letrozole this cycle but my period never showed up..it's quite annoying, I had set my mind to it, got all my mandatory results and appointments done and was actually looking forward to the cycle but it never showed..it's 10 days late now. Feeling deflated..