"“Now listen, dear interlocutors of the infinite internet ether, before the Twitterati commence their collective fulmination, allow me to elucidate this most labyrinthine of misunderstandings with my customary cocktail of linguistic gymnastics and metaphysical musing. I have, it appears, been once again ensnared in the baroque bureaucratic balderdash of institutional intrigue – a veritable Kafkaesque carnival wherein my every utterance is dissected with the forensic zeal of a Victorian mesmerist examining the ectoplasm of moral panic.
Let it be known, amidst this cacophony of cancel culture and the inquisitorial eye of public opinion, that I remain as innocent as a freshly lactated vegan oat milk latte, steeped in the froth of social consciousness and sprinkled with the cinnamon of misunderstood intention.
So I shall, like Prometheus unshackled from the rock of recrimination, continue my peregrinations through the podcastosphere, disseminating truths and transcendence, whilst being pursued by metaphorical eagles hungry not for my liver, but for likes, retweets, and moral superiority. Namaste and carry on.”"
(Stolen from Reddit)