Shouldn't parents be teaching freshers life skills before university?

[RampantIvy]

I am still on the WIWIKAU Facebook page as DD is a post grad student.

I keep reading posts from parents of freshers students worrying about how their student DC are going to manage cooking, laundry and other life skills.

Isn't it our job to teach them those skills? Why on earth haven't these parents done so?

I admit to challenging one parent in the past about this and got my post deleted 😁

……..and the ones who use ‘we’ and ‘our’. As in ‘we’ve applied to do history at Manchester’ or ‘we haven’t had an email yet about moving in day’.

The one who is afraid of the dark

Totally agree. My kids are much younger but I am teaching them to do age appropriate tasks, helping to prepare simple meals, loading the dishwasher, put away clean washing. Obviously they will develop more skills as they get bigger, but it all has to start somewhere.

Does it matter if people do things differently?
I was taught, I've a friend who was taught basically nothing. She learned pretty fast at uni!

Most important thing is to send them off fair and reasonable so they're not an arse to their room mates.

What FB page is that?!

My dd is heading off to uni in a couple of weeks but she’s had two years out since college so I feel confident she’s more than ready for uni.

At 18 she would have struggled I think.

They could have taught them at home but still be worried about how they will cope alone 🤷. Doing all of it at once us different to knowing "how to" at home. I mean, they might know how to operate a washing machine, cook meals etc but it can be quite a jump to have to suddenly budget, food shop, cook, laundry, clean etc all at once. Doesn't mean they're incapable, just that some parents worry about them making the transition.

I have a young family member who's mother is arranging a car pool for lifts to and from Uni with two school friend's parents. They're all staying at home and going to the same university in the nearest city but different courses so goodness knows how they plan to schedule that. None of them at 18 can independently take a bus or train.

My husband wasn't allowed to touch the washing machine or kitchen appliances when he was at home. He learned everything quickly when he went to university, he didn't find it difficult and didn't feel his mother's old-fashioned rules held him back. I also don't think MIL would've been too worried about him, she'll have been assuming he'd meet a lovely young woman willing to look after him 😄

I'm in one of those Facebook groups. My bugbear is 'My YP is in... My YP hasn't received the...' Just say son or daughter! It's like they've graduated from here and can't say goodbye to the fucking pointless initialisms.

I think it's inevitable to panic a bit that they're about to leave home and you've not taught them everything you intended. My eldest can cook and clean but is spending the small amounts of time she's at home (too busy spending time with her friends) rolling her eyes at me when I offer some last minute advice.

Often this sort of worry is just an expression of 'I'm a bit sad they've moved out'.

I hate this, when did this happen, because Dd is 25 and I didn’t say that with her

I’ve got a 16 year old who takes full responsibility for his laundry and washing and changing his bedding, can iron, can cook (washing up we’re working on…), plan what he’ll eat and buys his toiletries.

And I have a 15 year old who… doesn’t proactively do any of those things.

If DC2 has to learn when he goes to uni then so be it.

Presumably cheaper to car share?

Lots of unis now have commuter lounges so they'll have space to heat lunch, study, chat in gaps.

Apparently a third now commute!

I think those parents are worrying about the wrong things tbh. Cooking and laundry isn’t exactly hard. No one drops out because they can’t cook. The ones who will drop out are the ones with poor social skills or who are too rigid/ can’t cope with living in slightly chaotic and skanky communal flats or who can’t cope without the academic scaffolding of school.

@concertinacornflake the parents are car pooling not the 18 year olds, none of them drive.
As in, someone's mum or dad will take them and go back for them every day on a rota.
No independent travel or socialising as parents will be waiting for them after classes.
The commute is very do-able, maybe 20 minutes train journey then a 15-20 minute walk, I did it myself.

I think it’s 25% but it’s very unevenly distributed- very high in London. Much lower at high tariff but non London unis like Durham, St Andrews, Bath etc.

Hopefully it works out for them.

In my day they were called the Common Room and the Library!

When I was a student back in the dark ages 50% of the students at Glasgow were Glaswegians who lived at home in first year (they were usually 17 when they came to Uni but inevitably got jealous of the freedom those of us in halls had and moved out in later years).

It's a third this year apparently, and yes unevenly distributed - but pretty much all unis are now investing in catering to commuter students.

I don’t think it is Tariff that means a much lower proportion of students in St Andrew’s commute. Commute from where? Dundee?

The questions about laundry and what detergent and how much to take are killing me. (And air fryers and mattress toppers. And what size fitted sheets or duvets) . Or taking time to post a question that could so easily be looked up on the uni website mainly in regards to accommodation and term dates! Sorry I sound really mean as it can be overwhelming I realise but there is some serious overthinking. I mean....dehumidifiers in uni halls!

I know I’ve been rubbish but my dc is doing catered for the first year so going to have to teach her in holidays before Y2! They can independently take buses and trains though.

Sorry I sound really mean I think it's just a way of looking down on other parents who don't know as much. Due to increase in numbers a significant number of students are first in family, so it's a new experience.

Same situation when I was a student, and I was one of them, I think living at home but still having the ability to get yourself to and from Uni and take part in the social side is different than having to come straight home every day because your mum is sitting at the bottom of the road waiting.