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Original poster

I think I might be in crisis

108 replies

Otherpeoplemanage · 05/07/2023 08:05

I go through patches where the suicidal thoughts are almost overwhelming- it usually lasts a couple of days and I fight it and it goes.

ive felt like this since last week and it won’t go. It’s in my mind and my brain all the time and it’s more than ideation.

I just want it to stop.
i have absolutely no one I would / could call - which isn’t helping - and because I work in mental health I won’t speak to my GP (I attend the surgery I am attached to for work) as I’m worried about what that looks like for me professionally.

i texted the stop number in the night but there was no response for ages so I opted back out.

i haven’t told anyone IRL because I don’t want to upset people or be accused of attention seeking. I’m also not 100% certain I want to be stopped.

i do want this to stop though. I’m hoping it together at work and with the kids and then I’m just a mess at any other time. I can’t stop crying and I want it to stop.

OP posts:
Bananadrama4673 · 11/07/2023 21:05

You need to make that appointment to get signed off work op. This is your first step. Make the appointment. You need to rest. This will give you a bit of thinking time. Venture out into nature, try to get grounded again as you may be feeling a whole raft of feelings right now. I have had very dark thoughts too. You are not alone.

There are likely plenty of other jobs out there but first you need to rest. This is self-care. Don't abandon yourself - you are worth more than that (and this is coming from a trauma survivor who is trying to work on this day by day). Any future employer is likely to respect that you hit a difficult patch but took appropriate action to take care of yourself.

SoniyaJonas · 12/07/2023 13:59

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time, but it's crucial to prioritize your well-being and reach out for professional help immediately, regardless of your concerns about work or what others may think, as there are resources available to support you through this, such as helplines or crisis centers that can provide immediate assistance.

idliketogetdownnow · 14/07/2023 07:14

How are you today @Otherpeoplemanage ?

Eyesopenwideawake · 15/07/2023 12:19

@Otherpeoplemanage - hey, how are you?

MrsPositivity1 · 16/07/2023 01:02

Otherpeoplemanage · 11/07/2023 09:05

I’m sat on an empty car park trying to make myself go to my first appointment.
i have six appointments today and I don’t want to do any of them.
We had a team meeting yesterday and I wonder if they want rid of me anyway as the other leads in my position have had their caseloads reduced. Mine remains the same.
unfortunately it’s impacting my sleep which I think is in turn making me feel worse. I don’t know how I can support people with their mental health concerns when I feel as bad as I do now, but I don’t feel there’s any choice.
Everything feels very disconnected, there’s no one I can call because I wouldn’t put this on anyone IRL.
I don’t want to do today, I don’t want to do any of it, I just keep crying and I want it to stop.

@Otherpeoplemanage how are you? I’ve just been reading your posts.

You sound totally snowed under and overwhelmed with work. You need to speak to your boss. No job is worth feeling how you do.

Please let us know you are okay

idliketogetdownnow · 21/07/2023 19:20

Are you still with us, @Otherpeoplemanage ? I hope so x

webster1987 · 28/07/2023 19:08

@Otherpeoplemanage I keep thinking of you and this thread. I really hope you're doing ok.

Namechange600 · 28/07/2023 23:30

Really hope you are ok. Xxx ❤️❤️

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