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Mental health

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Original poster

Feeling dangerously low - anyone around to chat?

119 replies

paperchain · 12/01/2008 16:47

Longstanding history of depression, self harm and addictions. Breakdown last summer, spent 3 months in hospital. Personality disorders diagnosed. In long term therapy atm.

DH critically ill. DSs have history of major illness, following congenital abormalities.

I cant cope any more. I want to end our marriage. I have sent DH away with the DC this weekend so I can get my head in gear. But I just drinking all the time.

I feel so low. I dont think I am at the 'worryingly low' stage (I have been known to take ODs in the past but I dont feel like that atm) but I am feeling very depressed.

I dont know what to do. All I want to do is cry and be comforted, but I am all alone. How can I get through this?

OP posts:

lucyellensmum · 12/01/2008 19:11

paperchain, are you sure that is a good idea? You don't have the children at home at the moment do you? Is there ANY possibility you could call up some friends and get plastered with somebody? I dont want to sound like im telling you what to do, i would get ratarsed myself if i thought it wouldnt react with my ADs.

Original poster

paperchain · 12/01/2008 19:13

I am alone. So no respoinsisbilityies

I take ADs and anti psychotcis, and I drink
and I use other pills to exacerbate the effectgs of the alcohol

what and idiot

OP posts:

toomanydaves · 12/01/2008 19:16

Don't get plastered. Call up your friends. You say you have some locally. They would want to help. I would. Get them to come round and stop you getting plastered. Get them to make you some cups of char and entertain you with vacuous chitchat and smother you with affection. If they can't, hang on in on here. Sending you strength.

lucyellensmum · 12/01/2008 19:22

You are NOT an idiot, but you are going to make yourself so much worse, can't you see that?

You said you wanted some space to sort your head out. You owe it to yourself to do that, you cannot do that through a haze of alcohol. I know that it is easy for me to sit here and say that, i'm not you. I also understand your desire to blot everything out. I find whenever i drink alone that it makes me feel like shit, and it takes me AGES to get drunk. With friends the mood is lighter and im stupid pissed really quickly but i can sober up. You need some help here - please get on the phone and see if there is a friend who can join you.

Keep posting on here, go and have a look and see if there is any shite to be stirred on AIBU, a good barney is always a help if you have to vent!

Anything but sitting there drinking that bottle of cats piss.

Original poster

paperchain · 12/01/2008 19:24

sorry

one friend is at hosp cos her dm is ill. the other local one has her db round for dinner. she invited me round bit I cant interrupt them,

OP posts:

chocoholic · 12/01/2008 19:37

I agree that getting drunk is probably not the thing for you to do tonight if you are on your own.
Can you have a hot bath, get a good book, put a film on, just have a break from the family?

Original poster

paperchain · 12/01/2008 19:40

I want to blot it all out

I did so last nihght too

I am an idiot

OP posts:

ScoobyDoo · 12/01/2008 19:43

I also agree that you should not get drunk, you can blot it all out but then you will wake up in the morning & it will still be there, you will be going round in circles.

You are not an idiot at all you are just feeling very low & have alot on your plate.

Do you not think it would be best to write things down maybe, relax have a nice bath, rest on your bed with a good book or magazine?

Have you been drinking already?

((((hugs))))

Original poster

paperchain · 12/01/2008 19:43

I ahve been drinking since abotu 4 o'c

I am not relaly drunk , yet, but I am getin there

OP posts:

chocoholic · 12/01/2008 19:44

You are not an idiot at all, just in need of some relief from your troubles.

The trouble with drinking is it makes you think about your worries even more.

Do something for you to help you relax. Snuggle on the sofa under a duvet with a hot water bottle and watch a film. Make a cup of cocoa. Something to give yourself a bit of a hug.

ScoobyDoo · 12/01/2008 19:46

I thought so because your spelling has gone a bit

Ok maybe you should have a nice bath & relax, have a coffee or some water? I know you don't want too & your probably sitting thinking "ha ha no way" but honestly is drinking really going to solve anything?

When is your Dh & Dc coming home? are you looking forward to seeing your dc? or do you feel you need more of a rest.

I am sorry you feel like this i wish i could take your pain away, you seem so lost

Original poster

paperchain · 12/01/2008 19:47

I am very lost

I used to be losty haha

OP posts:

chocoholic · 12/01/2008 19:49

Have you put the glass down now?

ScoobyDoo · 12/01/2008 19:51

He he the glass may be down but i bet it's empty

Original poster

paperchain · 12/01/2008 19:51

no sorry

OP posts:

chocoholic · 12/01/2008 19:53

Grrr...put it down!!

Original poster

paperchain · 12/01/2008 19:53

sorryr choc

I need it

OP posts:

ScoobyDoo · 12/01/2008 19:54

What are you drinking paperchain anything nice? have you had some food?

Original poster

paperchain · 12/01/2008 19:55

red wine, of course

yes had some chinese, chick and rice, biut coudlnt eat muchc

OP posts:

ScoobyDoo · 12/01/2008 19:57

Oh blimey red wine, i can't drink that makes me really ill & dp can't drink it because it makes him aggressive

Have you anything nice you could snack on it may make you feel better?

Have you spoken to you Dh?

chocoholic · 12/01/2008 19:58

I have to go and eat too as my jacket potatoes are turning into bullets as I sit here.
Will check in later to see you are doing OK. Still think a bit of snuggly time on the sofa would do you the world of good.
x

lucyellensmum · 12/01/2008 19:58

i remember losty, isnt that the poster with the VERY acute sense of humour??

Paperchain, i feel for you i really do. I think this weekend has shown you one thing, you need some help. It IS out there but you have to make yourself heard. If not for you, and i hate to bring this old chestnut up, for your children.

I am sending you a big hug, and i dont even care if you slobber on my shoulder in a drunken stupor. It is very easy for us to say dont get drunk.

I think the answer could be this - tell yourself that later, after say, 9 or ten then you can have another drink, then only have some coffee or some hot chocolate, go and have a bath, chill for a bit. Come back and post on here, if you still feel like you need a drink, have one.

Original poster

paperchain · 12/01/2008 19:59

thansk friends

I was losty, and before that naswm, and for a brief while phoneixsoaring (but I had to change that as it was too simialr to somneone else!)

OP posts:

fensmum · 12/01/2008 20:15

Hi just been reading your msg,sorry to hear how shit it is for you,i know this prob wont mean a thing if you arent at the place to hear it,but when i was at my worst,my dd was 8month old and i was pregnant,husband(who was my friend for 12 years!)beat me up ran off the a barmaid,and then sold our home while i was giving birth(nice touch.I couldnt breath for the pain,i wanted out but a friend told me it all ends,when i asked what they meant they said the good and the bad it all ends,and when i gave myself time to think about that it started to make sense.I hope you find something to hold on to.im hear if you need me x

Original poster

paperchain · 12/01/2008 20:18

thansk I am a bit lost atm

and a bit drunk now

thank god

OP posts:

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