I had a complete melt down last night. Completely lost it. Screamed shouted threw things smashed crockery and was violent towards DH 
I have no idea why. It stemmed from some thing trivial. I have been suffering from depression for years I think. I usually 'just get on with things' -I really don't have another choice. I have been to embarrassed to see my GP, have either cancelled appointments or made up a fictional ailment at the last minute I just cant tell anyone how I feel.
Today DH has gone to work as normal. I am numb, I know I need help. I don't know how to get help.
I rang my surgery but they have no appointments left. I want to just walk in and collapse in a heap and ask for someone to please please make me feel normal. I can not cope. I am not coping. I want to curl up and sob and sob and sob. Or just walk out the door and keep walking until I dissapear and become invisible.