What wording for invitations when asking for no plastic toy gifts?

[Nocommentisacomment]

My DD will be 5 soon and I’m planning a birthday party for around 15 children.

People have always been incredibly generous with gifts, which is lovely, but she really does have plenty already and I’m trying to reduce the amount of plastic in our lives as much as possible. I don't want more plastic toys that might only get played with once or end up being thrown away.

I can’t really ask for books either: my kids already have 300+ and we go to the library regularly (both DH and I read for a living, so our house is basically a library itself). There’s also a very good chance we’d end up with books she already has.

I could ask for a £5 donation towards something she really wants, but she gets so excited about receiving presents that I feel a bit bad about her having nothing to open.

I was thinking of putting something on the invitation along the lines of “no plastic toys, please”. I would be more than happy with second-hand wooden toys (Vinted etc.), craft things or similar. But I’m worried people might find this annoying or feel it’s an inconvenience.

What would you put on the invitation?

I hate the plastic tat too but could never do this!
You get what you’re given. If someone asks for an idea point them in the right direction but you accept any gift graciously and either keep it or donate it to charity.
Only other option is to say you want no gifts at all!

And even more so if I had read how you rudely reply to people on here
Your attitude is as crap as the toys your kid will get

If you are surrounded by parents with similar views to yourself then why do you need to even worry about recieving plastic tat? Surely if they have similar views to you they'll be getting her decent gifts?

I get that, and it would be fine if you were saying "no toys please, we already have enough". But to specify that you already have enough plastic toys is the thing that comes off as demanding and a bit snobby. It's fine to ask for no gifts. It's even fine to ask for no toys specifically (altho is getting a bit more demanding I think) - but to specify no plastic toys is like saying "nothing from Primark for my birthday please"

Hold up
If your friends are 'of a similar mind to you' rather than us plastic consuming lot here, why would u need to stipulate it? Surely they will get you a nice bit of oak anyway?

Honestly OP, mumsnet isn’t real life and this sort of post always gets this response (a bit like asking for cash as a wedding gift rather than 190 toasters).
My friendship group and wider circle when my kids were at primary would have loved some direction about what to buy, or stick a fiver in a card or some polite message about trying to reduce plastic (as some helpful posters have suggested). It’s perfectly acceptable and normal.

OP, it was quite common when I was young for party invitations to say, “PNP” - please, no presents. It seems that you are desperate for your DD to have presents of some description because “she gets so excited about receiving presents that I feel a bit bad about her having nothing to open”, yet you want to be massively prescriptive about what your DD receives. Entitled much, OP? To say no books is frankly outrageous - if someone gives a book you already have, you keep it to re-gift. If you were really to have the courage of your convictions, you would ask for a secondhand toy that your DD’s friends had enjoyed playing with - but maybe that wouldn’t be “good” enough.

How about a little poem? I think it’s hard to say only a specific kind of toy but something to ask for consumables that your daughter would enjoy as gifts could work.

Please no toys, we’ve got lots to spare,
But seeds, crafts or things for baking treats
Would give us lots of joy to share

We’ve got lots of toys that much is true,
The greatest present would be time with you,
But if you’d like to bring a little surprise,
Seeds, crafts or baking goodies are wonderful in our eyes

They’re a bit corny but for a 5 year olds party I would find it cute and it would be great knowing we’ve got something that would be enjoyed and used!

I've had two kids and done more parties than I care to count. We live in a pretty privileged area.
Not once have I received an invitation with this on.

There's no way to say 'no plastic crap please' without sounding like a dick. Just be grateful people are generous enough to buy your DD a gift and attend her party and donate what she won't use to charity. It sounds like she has more than enough.

Well if you’ve encountered it lots and the majority of us on here haven’t why don’t you advise us on what you should put on the invitation. Give us the benefit of your experience.

You want the thrill of gifts for your DD even though the house is full of toys.
But no plastic toys.

‘non plastic gifts only please’ is all you can write if you insist on mentioning it at all.
There's no nice way of saying it is there. It sounds precious and a bit offensive.

I’d say nothing at all.
Instead, use the plastic tat opportunity to teach your DD how to practise receiving a gift graciously.

This

So where does this UK based not UK based plastic hating human who doesn't understand the concept of a charity shop actually live with her growing veg land and like-minded pals who will need a push to remember their ethics??

What we do in our school and our rainbows and brownies groups we have a toy and book library (infact we have set up around 20) where parents and kids swap and change every few weeks a group of toys, games, and craft items and gardening and painting equipment

Keeps things fresh and kids interested and you can donate things in to them and if your child really loves something you just donate something else in it's place

Works well

I would feel awkward. Whilst i understand the overwhelm of the toys, it comes with the territory of a kids party

Yeah you can't really tell people - no plastic rubbish, only nice things

Smile and say thanks then donate it

Definitely no poetry is required

Have your party there, then. 🤷‍♀️

You might actually be surprised by what your child receives and what they like. For my daughter's 5th birthday party she received 26 gifts from classmates and of those only THREE were "plastic crap" and two of those were Lego sets (which I don't consider crap). Most were craft sets, art stuff, sticker/colouring books, board/card games, books, pyjamas, hair accessories - all without direction. Like all kids my daughter adores opening things and we then put them away and spread them out over the year. She still had new craft kits coming well towards her next birthday and some bits were regifted or donated.
I am with you on not wanting the cheap, never-again touched plastic stuff but it doesn't have to be like that. A positive suggestion of arts/crafts stuff sounds wise to me. Stating "no plastic gifts" would definitely come across as rude, how well-intentioned.

PS. I have a record so I know who to thank and what can be regifted when/what to reciprocate with etc which is how I know exactly what she received! In case anyone was wondering!

Surely since you know your DD will not play with them and you do not want them in your house, you can immediately donate them to a charity shop.

DD went to so many parties last year that I didn’t even know the name of the child, never mind what they wanted for their birthday. I also wouldn’t spend £10 either.

I think you either write “no gifts please” and accept that people will bring no gift or stick money in a card, or don’t say anything. If I got an invite saying no plastic gifts I would bring a book.

If I received an invite with a list of things the child would like as a present I would wonder if you’d gotten us confused with close friends or family. If it’s people from school then the whole point of a class party is for them to celebrate with their friends isn’t it and not get gifts? If it’s people you’re close with can you not just tell them you don’t want tat? I’d feel perfectly comfortable with telling my friends who were bringing their kids that and I would also ask what their child wants.

I don’t think you can dictate this easily, it’s not a wedding! Would dd
be happy with less toys? She is only 5 I would let it go and get her to choose old toys for the charity shop.

We’ve always donated unwanted toys the kids have gotten. I’d never dream of proactively requesting a certain toy from other parents - family yes, and anyone who asked I would indicate what she wanted, but not to anyone else.

I let my children open them, thank the parents for their gift, then siphon off the ones we don’t want to donate.

OP: the thread’s responses are your answer to how manners work here in the U.K.

I recommend you heed them, or you will be judged as very rude by your parent peers.

both DH and I read for a living, so our house is basically a library itself

Nothing to do with your dilemma, but I'm curious to know what jobs you do that mean 1) you read for a living and 2) what you read is suitable for your children such that they don't need more books.

In answer to your question - dunno. I think gift giving at this age is something for the giver to learn and at age 4 and 5 it's the perfect age for them to help pick some plastic crap something they think their friend will like, wrap it, hand it over and see the joy on their friend's face. Teaching them that they can feel good about giving not just receiving. I think maybe I'm a bit old fashioned though, as I think many children aren't involved in the process at all.

I've never been to a party where people ask for specific toys on an invite. Or rule out certain toys. I think its awkward and maybe gives the impression that you're above what they might have been thinking of buying, however you say it. Some parents dont have the money to buy better or capacity to trawl vinted and things like a lego set are always a good shout for around £10 or £15.
My son had eczema as a younger child but id never dream of saying, no bath stuff please on an invite. When we got this we passed on or used as a raffle prize. For those friends that are closer maybe mention it very soon in passing. That way if you have to get rid of or regift a few things that are plastic or duplicates then you will still see your little one happy with some of her gifts and able to play with them.