What wording for invitations when asking for no plastic toy gifts?

[Nocommentisacomment]

My DD will be 5 soon and I’m planning a birthday party for around 15 children.

People have always been incredibly generous with gifts, which is lovely, but she really does have plenty already and I’m trying to reduce the amount of plastic in our lives as much as possible. I don't want more plastic toys that might only get played with once or end up being thrown away.

I can’t really ask for books either: my kids already have 300+ and we go to the library regularly (both DH and I read for a living, so our house is basically a library itself). There’s also a very good chance we’d end up with books she already has.

I could ask for a £5 donation towards something she really wants, but she gets so excited about receiving presents that I feel a bit bad about her having nothing to open.

I was thinking of putting something on the invitation along the lines of “no plastic toys, please”. I would be more than happy with second-hand wooden toys (Vinted etc.), craft things or similar. But I’m worried people might find this annoying or feel it’s an inconvenience.

What would you put on the invitation?

Dont say anything...you cant prescribe what gifts youd like or dont like, without sounding like an asshole!
Charity those that dont meet your standard

I don’t think the OP liked the way the thread went and so has vamoosed.

You are actually good at being rude! Let us know of anyone actually turns up once you decide what to put on the invite!
hopefully you are adopting this environmental awareness to every aspect of your life and not just toys!

I wasnt trying to be funny or obtuse

If certain presents upset OPs oh so sensitive sensibilities then she can give them to people who have so very much less.

This whole 'problem' is so tone deaf and offensive I don't really know where to start.

How do you know she won’t be receiving a £20 Lego set? That’s pretty much my default when gift giving as Lego makes an amazing present, and we’ve also received plenty of Lego as gifts too. And noones giving her stuff off Temu because it takes too long to arrive, it may come as a surprise to you but no one actually cares that much about someone else’s kids birthday so they’re really not planning their gift that far in advance. They’ll buy whatever looks good in Tesco or argos

You spend £20 on presents for general school friend parties?

I'm curious, you say that your child already has plenty of plastic toys that they play with. How do you know your child will play with the soon-to-be-gifted non-plastuc toys?

If you wanted to be truly sustainable/ environmentally friendly, then you'd go to the bottom of the waste hierarchy pyramid, which is prevention, i.e. no gifts from attendees.

If you want your child to be able to open presents during the party, then you could buy a few presents that you know she'd use and love, and she could open those.

So, you don't want unnecessary plastic junk, you want unnecessary non-plastic junk.

I think this is why you've lost me (that and your appalling attitude).

Unless you are going to specify exactly what to buy, you will end up with "stuff". Some of which may be even more unsustainability produced than 100% recycled plastic "stuff".

@QuietComet For us, for example, a colouring book, some seeds, or other non-plastic items would not be considered unnecessary junk.

I have mentioned before that, with our lifestyle (which isn’t me showing off, as some of you have suggested), we simply don’t rely on toys as much as others might. I understand that if you live in a flat and have one child, they might need more things to keep them entertained, but that’s not how our life is.

I was simply looking for ideas for different themes (like gardening, for example) that could include no plastic.

I have three children and I throw three birthday parties a year. That could easily mean around 50 gifts over the course of a year, many of which we potentially wouldn’t use. I don’t really see the point in asking parents to spend their money on things that we don’t need or use. If I say “no gifts”, as another poster already mentioned, people will still show up with something. I know I would.

And to the commenters who said, “Don’t have children if you want to be sustainable,” or questioned why I have three children: having three children doesn’t automatically make someone less sustainable than someone with one child. Population is one factor, but consumption and lifestyle are hugely important too. Your great-great-grandmother probably had eight children, but that doesn’t mean her family was automatically less sustainable than a modern family with one child.

But of course, for some posters, everything has to be taken to the extreme. I simply want to reduce the amount of plastic in our lives. I don’t really see why that means I now have to turn off my phone, reject every aspect of modern life and pretend the modern world doesn’t exist. Surely there is a middle ground.

In that case, you don't say "no plastic gifts", you say "flower seeds, paints, pencils or notepads please" (for example).

If you say "no plastic toys" without specifying what you will actually use, you will inevitably just get non-plastic stuff you won't use and be in the same situation as if you'd said nothing.

This is the biggest load of bollocks I've read in a long time.

1). No one with three children has any business thinking they can play any kind of superiority card on sustainable living
2) you don't rely on toys? Great. Say you don't want any.

@Nocommentisacomment the issue is if you said something like "she enjoys crafts" I would pick a gift by what my daughter likes which is things like bracelet bead sets (which are usually plastic) or fancy gel pens (plastic) or stencils, stickers, smelly felt tip pens etc.
The same with cooking equipment or gardening stuff. I would automatically look at children's products - which are usually plastic.
Even you specify gardening/cooking/crafts people are going to likely buy items made from plastic.
Because that's what is in the shops.
Seriously if you want to avoid plastic products that much you need to say "no gifts please" or have a much smaller party with only 4 or 5 friends (so less gifts).
(even "board games" you could end up with plastic ones like Connect 4 or Hungry Hungry Hippos)

I’m trying to explain the reasoning behind why I was considering reducing plastic in my life. You don’t have to agree with me, but I really wasn’t expecting people to have such strong attachments to plastic.

If the simple idea of someone wanting to use less plastic makes you this angry, I honestly think that reaction has more to do with you than with my post.

you asked on MN though which isn’t real life.

people will attack you for whatever and jump on a bandwagon. Once there is a vibe - that gets taken to an extreme.

But I think there’s some good ideas between the more sensible posts. I hope some can help.

I agree this happens a lot on MN but in some instances that vibe is correct.

We are all saying we've never seen this in real life. This isn't one of those 'we wash our pillow cases 17 times a day and anyone who doesn't is a peasant' threads where MN is clearly a ridiculous bubble. The overwhelming majority of posters have all said the same thing and they are saying it because that's what they have experienced in real life.

For the thousandth time (if you read for a living it must be for spag, because your comprehension is subpar), many of us fucking agree with the desire to reduce plastic. I - and others - have said that over and over and over and over again. We just think you're going about it in an entitled, idiotic, self-absorbed, twattish way.

If the simple idea of someone wanting to use less plastic makes you this angry, I honestly think that reaction has more to do with you than with my post.

I'm sorry, but you're either only on a windup or you're amazingly thick.

Yes i think its very clear that it's either or. The 'strong attachments to plastic' comment is very interesting.

I got some very good suggestions here.

And yes, as you say, many others agree that we should reduce plastic, yet they also say they would get angry if the invitation said “no plastic.” You can call me thick if you want, but I’m not the one being confusing here.

To be clear OP
No one cares what you put on your invitations. No ones going to get 'angry'.
You asked how you could do it without sounding rude.
The overwhelming majority bar a few responses have been you can't.
Your posts read as though you have some sense of superiority and have been pretty rude and posters have responded to that.

So really, do what you like. No one cares. If you think the multitude of very reasonable responses here are confusing, then that's maybe something for you to think about. But either way, it makes no difference to any poster who replied trying to help.

Maybe circulate a link to an Amazon wish list or similar?

I think most people agree we could all probably reduce plastic. But your op was about how you send that message without appearing rude. That's where the issue is.

If you invite someone to a party then British etiquette is to not expect a gift but to be delighted if you are given one. So if you ask for 'gifts not to be plastic' in the invitation you break that etiquette of not expecting a gift.. and it is rude to dictate what gift a person is giving you as that is their decision and sending them a list up front would come off rude as would saying no plastic toys gifts in the invitation.

Now there are exceptions....if someone when replying to the invite specifically asks what the child would like for their birthday, then it's fine to give them a list of things they would like.

I've just trawled through my replies on this thread to make sure I'm expressing myself with clarity. I also deal with words at work, although more peripherally than reading for a living. I do believe I have, based on what I've copied and pasted

I'm not a fan of plastic tat myself, and try to avoid buying it for other people's kids,

Lots of us who do have similar views

As I've said, I'm not a fan of plastic tat - I do have similar views - therefore, I have always made an effort to steer our gifts towards art supplies or similar.

Many of us agree about the plastic.

if you're so sure you're surrounded by like-minded compatriots, surely they won't be buying that stuff? I know I never have.

What of that led you to believe this?

You don’t have to agree with me, but I really wasn’t expecting people to have such strong attachments to plastic.
If the simple idea of someone wanting to use less plastic makes you this angry, I honestly think that reaction has more to do with you than with my post.

So which is it, @Nocommentisacomment? Disingenuousness, thickness, inability to shed preconceived ideas, or just stirring up some shit?

Amazing! It’s as though you have no knowledge of the nuances of cultural norms and social conventions…
It’s not about the plastic! You could say ‘no books, please’, no Barbies please’, no craft items, please’, ‘no gardening items, please’. It wouldn’t make any difference - it’s always going to come across as rude and entitled (and slightly unhinged) to specify any categories of gifts you don’t want, to people who haven’t asked. This is because it’s rude and entitled to assume that you’re going to get any gifts at all. How are you not understanding this ?

Amazon - the bastion of eco-friendliness!