Cockroach cafe 🪳 Spring 2022 🪳

[MereDintofPandiculation]

Welcome! Those of you who have been before will notice the Bad Daughters’ Room is now called the Kumquat Room, and there are a couple of fine kumquats in the Conservatory.

Check also the Stationery cupboard with, among other things, the 🪳emoticon ready to cut and paste.

Anyway, come in when you want to share good news, or to rant, or to ask a small question that doesn't warrant its own thread. Or just to hang out with others who understand what you're going through.

For newbies: why cockroach? Previous long term resident of "Elderly Parents" Yolo's DM attended a 'small animal event' in a nursing home, and was presented with a "small animal with a hard back" the name of which species she couldn't remember. Her ever helpful DB suggested cockroach, and it has become a toast on here. So 🪳 mes amis/amies, and may you all live to fight another day.

Good news @countrygirl99 !

We seem to be back to square 1 with getting DF in a home. 😣

If he stays in hospital or is moved to temporary respite his home care package expires next week. He would then be moved to a temporary placing in a bigger town about 45 minutes drive away from my parents' town, while he waits for a place in the only nursing home that's local to where they stay, which is a few minutes walk from their house.

So DM has agreed to have him back and the hospital have said they'll give him sedatives so he's not keeping her up at night. She doesn't know why they didn't suggest this before.

I've asked her to check how this will affect his place on the waiting list for a nursing home (I'm not actually clear if he's on the list yet) and if she can say she'll have him back on the basis that he'll get moved when a local place becomes available.

I'm not sure what else to suggest. Given it took so much for her to get to the point that she agreed he needed care, they'd both been through accepting that he wasn't going to get back home, and that they lasted 5 days the last time he was discharged, I just can't believe this is happening again.

They won't move to the bigger town, which would make a lot of sense as it's closer to everything and they have lots of friends there.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Due to leave tomorrow morning on a covid delayed, once in a lifetime trip meant to be to celebrate our 60ths and Ruby wedding.
MILs carers have just phoned. Have called an ambulance for FIL as he is on a very bad way. Have asked if DH knows where his DNR is. We were just enjoying a bottle of wine in the garden.

And just had a text to say our first flight has been delayed 2 hours. We had 2 hours before our connecting flight.

Oh no @countrygirl99 ! DF nearly died just before we were due to go on holiday a few months ago and it was so stressful. Are you still going to go?

@countrygirl99 Is you connecting flight with same airline as first flight and booked as two parts of the same journey? They should put you on next available at no extra charge. If they are two separate journeys then that might be difficult
Hope FIL doesn’t prevent you from travelling.

@Mum5net all the same airline but the next available flight with the same airline isn't even the next day☹️.
Paramedics are with FIL so we are waiting for an update before we can make any decisions. DH has phoned social services re MIL as she can't be left and is waiting for a call back.

Next best flight is 18 hours via Kigale and Johannesburg instead of a 3 hour diect flight and it leaves 12 hours later 😔

FIL has apparently had a diabetic hypo and still isn't stable but is refusing to go to hospital.

BIL2 is on his way over as he is the nearest.

@countrygirl99 we all feel your pain. Sending strength and good wishes.

He's gone to hospital. Blood glucose was 1.

Honestly... go on your trip. Seriously.

We are going. Have managedto speak to airline and they have transferred us to an earlier flight from London so we are running round sorting the stuff we thought we had all morning to do.
🐘🦓🦁 here we come

BIL2 is stepping up, so get packed, get off and hopefully have a good time. There's never going to be a good time to go, there's always likely to be something happen even just with a sneaky weekend away. You've waited so long for this and you are so close now.

I'm so very glad you're going. A ruby wedding anniversary is something special.

Have just had to look up what a ruby is - wow, that's seriously impressive! Glad that you are going and that your flights should now work @countrygirl99 . Hope you manage to enjoy your time away. I buggered off on holiday yesterday from Gatwick on the Bad Daughters Airline, and things seemed to be ok re flights and getting through security etc.

Mindful that is was 6 months ago while I was on holiday that DM had a massive stroke. But I can feel the difference in me from not being the daughter round the corner factotum anymore.

Whizzed through security and now getting breakfast. We have 10 hours to kill overnight at Nairobi Airport now but my kindle is well shocked.

my kindle is well shocked. You should treat your tech better 😉

@countrygirl99 so glad to read that your journey's well under way. Have a great holiday!

I interpreted the shocked Kindle to be at the choice of reading materials downloaded!

@countrygirl99 I've just caught up with the thread. My heart was in my mouth! So glad you have gone. Have a wonderful time.

Have a wonderful holiday @countrygirl99. Well deserved! Glad you managed to get away.

I have to say that I’m amazed in the difference in DM since she had her cataracts done last month. Every time I go there she’s either out in the garden pottering about or cleaning something. Her mobility is still not great but since she is more active it can only help.
Her memory is not great but it’s not worse either.

We are at Nairobi Airport, next flight is breakfast time tomorrow but have found some not too uncomfortable chairs to sleep in. Have caught up with WhatsApp group and FIL is much better but going kept in for monitoring and MIL has a place in the preferred home tomorrow. Phew.

Have a great trip @countrygirl99 hope you managed to get some sleep.

You too @notaflyingmonkey you deserve a decent break without wondering whats going on with your DM at home. She's being well looked after so you can relax.

DM managed to have another fall in the CH on Saturday evening and hit her head again. I was out for dinner with DH for his birthday when they rang me. Ambulance called but after being checked over she was deemed fine to stay put. This really does reinforce the fact that she needs to have 24 hour care. If she had been at home, that would have been me summoned to deal with her. Fortunately I was able to stay and enjoy my very overpriced "small plates" meal, whats that all about?! Tiny portions to share for the same price as a main course in a regular restaurant!