The Cockroach Cafe (the successor to the Shiny Thread)

[MereDintofPandiculation]

A space for us all to get together for relief from caring, share news, frustrations, problems, or just have a rant. Everyone and everything welcome (though if you have a big problem needing advice, you may want to start a new thread so as to be heard above the noise of the clanking gin bottles and general chatter)

My Dad died peacefully in the early hours of today
Hugs in abundance for anyone who needs one
Thank you for the flowers x

Jace
I'm so sorry, he is at peace now.

jace I am so sorry. 🌺🌺🌺🌺

Jace I am so sorry for your loss.

JaceIam sorry for your loss

Thank you everyone
I came home cuddled Dcat had more than a few gins n grabbed some sleep
Just sat in bed rescheduling work for rest of week n next week then off to see DM n start contacting people - making arrangements etc

I am so sorry jace, much love.

Ffs, G1 just emailed to say it's not convenient to visit his father tomorrow because his own son is visiting. I've told him it will have to be convenient and we'll have to make it work because his wife has a right to see her husband and we will be there whatever.

I was teaching when I got the message- I was nearly sick with the wave of anxiety.

Lawyer says she hasn't got enough experience in court of protection do I need to find a new one- so not so shit hot after all :(

Then my bag must have rung my mother who called me 8 times during a lecture I was running (sound was off luckily) it's not been a great day so far :(

But I've a friend coming over to cook dinner and pour wine for me this evening so I'm hoping things will look up, just one more session with students to go between me and the wine :)

Lawyer says she hasn't got enough experience in court of protection Good that she's said that rather than try to muddle through. Can she recommend you someone else?

Jace love and hugs to you all.

nota sorry you had that experience with the anniversaries

I was lucky, it wasn’t a big mission. I had been quite wary of that; mum originally had very different plans and I was very “not no but hell leave me out of it if you’re going that route”. So it was okay. yolo I hope yours was okay as well.

Still keeping Saturday as my day off so bit of a lie in - long soak in the bath
Shopping and coffee with DP who is taking me out for a meal tonight
Been doing lots of practical things - informing people of death - visited bank to transfer joint account to DM
Starting with funeral arrangements etc
I’m going to carry on working as much as I feel up to but mainly from home as I’m struggling with peoples sympathy on a face to face basis I’m ok over phone text and email
Luckily job is very flexible bar a deadline or two and some external meetings I don’t really want to reschedule

My adult DC are being fab as usual
DD has taken day off on Monday to come with me to nursing home to collect stuff and do other practical things

Although I’ve got plenty of suitable clothes both DD and I fancy a new dress for funeral and DS wants a new suit
It may sound silly to some but I want to feel I look my best to send Dad off in style
I ordered DM some new black trousers and next week will go through her wardrobe to see if there’s something she will feel happy to wear on the day
In our house retail therapy has always been a thing!

no I get it jace, it's dressing for the occasion isnt it? so glad your DC are helping with the load, how is DM doing?
Mum's anniv passed fairly easily, DD1 got driving test on Monday and we've got her a car, so insisted that we drive to local town to indulge her retail therapy requirements!

DB left a phone msg to say was it the day? left one back to say yes, and spoke to him tonight. All as fine as it could be, given the previous turmoil, but our next thing is hosptal mtg on Dec6th, which clashes with DH next oncology mtg. dont think I can face 2 hospitals in one day! But DH is doing great, he has 21 days on chemo tabs, 7 days and then repeat. Just finished cycle 2 of 8, and we have booked David Gray concert tickets for Antwerp a couple of weeks after he finishes. For DH, this is kind of an abroad prerun, as we are going to Tuscany for 15 days in June (god son's wedding), and he is quite anxious about travel etc. - fair enough.

Glad to hear your DH is doing well Yolo and your and Autumn's anniversaries passed ok.

Retail therapy sounds like a good move Jace - any cat pics for us this evening?

How are you doing Nora?

I went to Costco and bought myself a jumper for £3.79. I haven't tried it on yet, but I'm sure it will look like I bought it cheap from Costo. Ho hum. Still not fully over my lurgy-thing, which makes two weeks now. Things with DS extremely stressful still, and I have been doing a lot of crying (and coughing) recently. So snot central really.

Cockroach all.

Urgent Milkgate update. DM's carer just phoned. DM is getting stressed about the milk that keeps arriving on the doorstep. I explained AGAIN that it's her milk, I've left notes, written the days it's due on the calendar. The sweet bloody irony is... she is out of milk. God only knows what her neighbours are making of her foisting the milk on them, or leaving it on their doorsteps.

I think jace and yolo might have been a bit shocked at my appearance at dad’s funeral! I did remember to wear a poppy though!

nota sorry if you’ve said before - why doesn’t the carer take milk?

Re the cough, if it’s a dry cough, I find Robitussin good but it has about a million contraindications so def check!

cockroach all- sorry to hear about the crap you lot are having to deal with.
Jace- retail therapy sounds a great plan, yolo too.
nota sorry it’s so tough- as rose said could carer take milk in? Sorry to hear your dd is finding it tough too.
nora hope you have got your protection in place.
yolo great to hear your dh is doing well- such a gruelling treatment
Things calmish here thank goodness.. for now..

For the cat lovers

DP pair of cuties

Thanks Jace

He’s snacking on milk and choc tonight then 😁

X post
Ohhh they are so lovely.

DP cats - grown up but still inseparable

Jace, how many cats do you have in your home right now?

I can come over with gin....and a cucumber presse drink which goes nicely I find.