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Donor conception

For anyone with experience of sperm or egg donation to share support and advice. Please remember this board isn’t for debate about donor conception.

TTC with a donor

992 replies

Waiting2BAMummy · 02/08/2019 19:13

So it appears I posted the 1,000 message on our previous thread and now it's closed so I've opened us a new home!

@TimeIhadaNameChange
@LanieM87
@Freezerbump

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Waiting2BAMummy · 03/01/2020 16:42

I was hoping I just missed the surge @TimeIhadaNameChange. Having cramps today that I usually get three days before AF but today is only CD19 so that would mean AF will arrive on Monday and I’ll have only had a 21 day cycle! Just going to have to wait and see.

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bitheby · 03/01/2020 19:33

Hope it’s something else. Which day do you think you ovulated? My cycles are a bit shorter now so I think I ovulate around CD12.

Waiting2BAMummy · 03/01/2020 19:57

I have no idea @bitheby didn’t get any EWCM this month and I stopped using OPK’s on Monday. Just going to write this month off and wait for AF I think.

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Waiting2BAMummy · 05/01/2020 10:03

As I suspected I’m out this month, cramps got worse yesterday and I had lower back ache. Today the pink spotting has started so expect AF to arrive tomorrow.

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Iprefergin · 05/01/2020 10:09

Hello Everyone xxx

Hope I can join but before I read through this massive thread, I'm a single 36 year old longing to be a Mum. I had a miscarriage last year , I had been seeing someone at the time, it wasnt serious but he wasn't at all bothered/sad/sympathetic/supportive when I lost the baby.

So he is gone now. Is this thread what I'm looking for? I need to go down the sperm donor route and would love some advice as I'm totally lost. Xxx

Waiting2BAMummy · 05/01/2020 10:46

Welcome @Iprefergin. Yes, you’re definitely in the right place. We’re not all single women but most of us are.

You have a few options you could order from a speedometer bank to be delivered to your home address (but you would need a medical professional of some description), you could have IUI or IVF in a clinic or you could use a site like pride angel or co parents to get to know a donor and have a fresh donation.

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Iprefergin · 05/01/2020 11:12

Thank you so much @Waiting2BAMummy
The idea of using a site like co-parents is terrifying to me but I'm going to have a good read through the threads here and get my head around things.

Waiting2BAMummy · 05/01/2020 11:25

That’s where I found my donor @Iprefergin and he’s awesome. It was super scary at first and honestly if you’d have told me before I started this that I would be doing this I would have laughed at you. I’ll be honest many people on there are just after sex but you have to be up front that you are only prepared to do AI and that’s none negotiable. Once you start chatting to someone it’s really not as scary as you think.

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CleverQuacks · 05/01/2020 12:02

I was scared to use co parents to but met a lovely guy and it has worked first time! I was looking into IVF before that but couldn’t really afford it.

Waiting2BAMummy · 10/01/2020 14:18

Hi Ladies,

How is everyone doing?

Advice needed last month I must have ovulated on CD9 as I only had a 20 day cycle. I am taking iso again this month and currently on CD6. Last month I took iso days 5-9 but this month am taking them 3-7. I usually start seeing my donor on CD12 but I’m wondering if I should change this, this month and start on CD8. My concern is that if I ovulate a lot later this month my donor might get fed up having started on CD8.

Really don’t know what to do. I didn’t start using OPK’s until CD9 last month and you always get a blank circle on the first day with the CB digital. This month I started testing yesterday and got a blank circle today and yesterday.

Do I start earlier or just play it by ear?

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TimeIhadaNameChange · 11/01/2020 04:13

I think I'd play it by ear, @Waiting2BAMummy. At least with the CB you get the flashing face to warn you it's nearly time. How many times are you using them in the day? Maybe it would be an idea to do an extra test a day to catch the flashing one?

Waiting2BAMummy · 11/01/2020 09:34

I only test once a day usually until I get my flashing smiley and then twice @TimeIhadaNameChange. I did have a new box of 20 test delivered yesterday though as this is my last chance with my current donor. This mornings test was still a blank circle so will test again this afternoon.

I have had a 21 day cycle before so must have ovulated really early that month too and then the following month I think I got my positive around CD 15 so will just wait and see.

How are you feeling? You can’t have long left now. Did your find out what you’re having it waiting for the surprise? If I ever get pregnant I will find out but I’m not telling anyone else!

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TimeIhadaNameChange · 13/01/2020 10:08

Any sign of that flashing smiley yet, @Waiting2BAMummy?

I'm ok. Tired because I've not been sleeping well, but that's to be expected. I keep forgetting how large my bump it, though, which can be amusing. I burnt it on an oven tray yesterday - whoops! Grin

I have no idea what I'm having. DP tried to figure it out from the scan, but couldn't, thank goodness! I know fine well if he had he'd have told everyone, and I didn't want others knowing when I didn't. And I don't want to know partly because I want a surprise, partly because I know that sonographers can get it wrong, and I'd hate to be geared up for one and then get the other, and partly because I do have a preference, but I know I'll be happy on the day either way.

One colleague's still upset I haven't, and won't, find out though. She's been desperate for me to have a gender reveal!

Waiting2BAMummy · 13/01/2020 10:48

Oh bless you @TimeIhadaNameChange I imagine I would miss my bump when it was gone easy to say though since I’ve never had one!!

How long do you have to go now? Have you started maternity leave yet?

I also have a preference so I thought I would want to find out so I can have gotten used to it before he/she arrives. My best friend has already said she’s coming to all appointments I’ll find out but won’t be telling anyone else as then everyone wants to know what you’re going to call them and you get their opinion but they never seem to give that same opinion once the baby has arrived and you’ve already named them.

No flashing smiley face as yet and I have read some other posts from women who had really short cycles after taking iso/clomid. Too late now as I’ve already taken it this month just hoping things are different this month.

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TimeIhadaNameChange · 15/01/2020 11:00

I will definitely miss my bump, but it will be nice to be able to fit through normal size openings again! (A couple of months ago we'd parked in a car park and I tried to get out, only to discover I couldn't. Had to get DP to repark so I could open the door w-i-d-e-l-y! Grin) But it is useful for resting my plate on when I sit down on the sofa.

I'm due seven weeks tomorrow, maternity leave starts in 5. The whole thing is frightenly close. Still not sure where I'll deliver - I'd really like to be at home or, failing that, the local cottage hospital, but both of them depend on the position of the baby (so need at scan in 4 weeks to check) and enough midwives in the area. The thought of having to travel 100 miles while in labour really doesn't appeal though, plus there's a (naturally) bigger maternity unit there, so I doubt the care will be so personal.

I keep seeing mention of the 'hospital bag' - I know what it is, and what I need to pack, but it seems far too soon. I probably really should though, just in case. Maybe next week...

I've told a couple of people my favourite boy's name and surprisingly they like it (Merlin) but I'm reluctant to tell many people as I don't want to hear their opinion. As you say, they're far less likely to object if you proffer it as a done deal. I'm pretty sure what the middle names would be if it were a boy, as they honor two men I'm very close to. I'm far less sure about a girl, though. Bizarrely, one name that DP suggested has appeared in various random contexts since. It's not the type of name I'd usually consider but it is growing on me.

Hope your cycles manage to regulate themselves again on the clomid. What a pain, though, it mucking them up like that. Just what you don't need!

Waiting2BAMummy · 15/01/2020 11:54

Oh wow @TimeIhadaName change 7 weeks is crazy - can’t believe how fast that time has gone. Bless you not being able to get out of the car, our spaces in the car park at work are quite tight so (if I ever get pregnant) I won’t be able to get out of my car down there lol.

Yes, you definitely need to get your hospital bag sorted just in case although most first babies are late so hopefully you have time. Travelling 100 miles while in labour definitely does not sound fun. Hopefully bugs will be head down and you’ll be able to give birth at home or in your local cottage hospital.

Merlin is a really cute name I definitely think boys names are easier than girls it’s a very hard decision though as that name will be with them for life.

I got my first flashing smiley face today so fingers crossed I will ovulate in the next few days. I am using cheap one step tests too and had no line at all on Monday but last night and this morning there is a faint line. Trying to check my cervix too it was really low on Sunday but has been so high I can’t reach it since and I’ve read it moves up about 5 days before ovulation so hopefully things will work properly this month.

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LaksaLover · 16/01/2020 10:49

Hi, can I join?

Am currently searching donors online, but desperate to try at home, so looking at SellerDiers, as they still offer home delivery and there are a lot of details about the actual donor.

I've had my fertility checked and apparently all is good, so feel more confident about giving it a go at home and with no drugs etc. Obviously there are no guarentees, but this is where we're starting and hopefully finishing!

I have to say, we're really struggling to pick the donor. The ones we are drawn to tend to be running really low on the ICI samples, but don't want to settle for another just because they have samples a plenty!

Our criteria has definitely changed since we first searched. Initially we were looking for donors who resembled my DW and was in the same sort of academic field, but now we don't even enter hair/eye colour and occupation and focusing more on social/emotional intelligence and good health.

Did anyone else find chosing a donor really bloody difficult?!

Waiting2BAMummy · 19/01/2020 15:13

Ladies I don’t know what to do. I just took this opk and my clearblue digital. This to me looks positive but I still had a flashing smiley face on the clearblue. My donor last visited on Friday night and will be again tomorrow as he said he had a really busy weekend but would try to come over today if I got my positive. Do I contact him and see if he can visit or am I just wait until tomorrow since I haven’t got my positive on clearblue yet?

Of course you can join @LaksaLover welcome to the madness! My situation is a little different I’m a single female and have a ‘fresh’ donor that I found on co parents he’s awesome. When using a fresh donor is less about looks etc and more about the donors that aren’t just looking to get loads of sex from desperate women! Good luck.

TTC with a donor
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Waiting2BAMummy · 19/01/2020 20:34

Just got my static smiley face but it’s too late to message donor now and ask if he can come over so he’s visiting tomorrow and will have to hope that Friday night will cover me for today and tomorrow. 🤞

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bitheby · 19/01/2020 23:59

Hello.

Back in the game. Donor is able to meet me this time (hopefully). CD1 is likely to be tomorrow and I have short cycles so we're just working out when to meet.

I haven't been tracking recently so need to get back up to speed. Ideally we'll meet twice but might be only the once.

@TimeIhadaNameChange so excited for you!

Waiting2BAMummy · 20/01/2020 19:25

That’s great news @bitheby I hope he doesn’t let you down again this month. You must be excited to finally be able to start trying again.

I feel like the iso flavones have really done something this month as I had pains yesterday and a little today and had EWCM earlier so all ties in with my positive OPK’s yesterday. Donor is visiting tonight but not sure if I should be telling him not to bother as I may have already ovulated but since I don’t know that for sure I figure better safe than sorry.

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TimeIhadaNameChange · 24/01/2020 11:29

Thanks, @bitheby! It's all getting a bit real, I must say. The little one is definitely becoming more and more noticeable as the days go on. Fewer than 6 weeks to go now - where has the time gone????

Did you manage to meet up with your donor? Fingers crossed it works!

How are you getting on, @Waiting2BAMummy? Hope you didn't miss ovulation and that things work out for you. How many more months have you got left with this donor?

bitheby · 24/01/2020 11:35

Next week is the week. Haven’t fixed dates yet but he says he’s available. I was just thinking about emailing him.

It’s my birthday today. Another year closer to menopause. Feeling quite sorry for myself.

Waiting2BAMummy · 24/01/2020 16:48

Have you packed your hospital bag yet @TimeIhadaNameChange? Can’t believe how fast your pregnancy has gone.

I got a positive opk on a one step test at 2pm on Sunday and then at 8pm on a clearblue digital. My donor was busy over the weekend so he visited on Monday night (had previously visited on Friday). I had cramps on Sunday and Monday (but much less) and EWCM when I wiped on Monday. I don’t know exactly when I ovulated but have been having CM every day since Sunday whereas normally it’s dry/sticky. Some weird twinges on the left side today.

This is the last month my donor said he would help but he’s moving at the end of February anyway so I’m hoping he will do one more month if I’m not successful this month.

Happy Birthday @bitheby good luck for next weekend.

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LanieM87 · 24/01/2020 17:00

Wow @TimeIhadaNameChange that does seem to have gone very quickly! How exciting!

Fingers crossed for you @bitheby also many happy returns! Hope you're having a lovely day!

@Waiting2BAMummy also fingers crossed for you. Sounds like you've covered your bases this month! Have you started to look at finding a new donor once this one moves?

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