Ex wants to reduce contact as our children no longer fit

[Threerandomword]

This is my first post on MN, long term reader however. I am genuinely looking to find people that may have gone through similar as I am so sad today and at a loss . I will try and be as brief as poss .

Divorced/separated 6 years now . Ex is a teacher. Our now 15 and 13 year old go to him one night and day every weekend and then there days a week on top in the school holidays . My set up is now a blended family with my husband who has 11 and 12 year old with us half the time. He has a toddler with his girlfriend and the have recently had another baby ((not planned). He has a 4 bedroom house and currently our two have their own rooms. My two are devastated by the second child and are already quite "others at the house . He is showing increasing disinterest in our children as they are getting less "fun" . He doesn't seem to understand that parenting at this age is all about those ten minutes where they engage with you . And then being in their rooms is ok. Yesterday I had a chat with him saying that I think it's the point where we need to reset school holidays as they can stay at mine more and dont need looking "after" even if I am working . This is in response to how the kids are feeling , they want to stay home more in the hols to be round most of their things and friends .He agreed but then said oh and when The baby is one I can no longer have them both at the same time ! As once our of their room the baby needs their own room. I said well I did assume that would be the case but for the few times our son is there couldn't the baby have a sleep over with his brother. No this is their permanent home and this is just where my kids "stay". He is now proposing either day visits only or one week they stay at his mum's and he visits the next day and the second weekend he only has one of them!.and that would be it. He then made a comment that he hadn't asked his mum and actually it would be super inconvenient for him to do that because he would get home late. I am just so sad for reference he lives about 45 minutes away and we meet half way

As a PP rightly said, he will reap what he sows. This will be devastating for his relationship with his children. Its just so unfair for your kids.

The sanitary towel incident is truly horrific.
Their dog did this.
That really should have been reported to your GP.
I believe that to be hugely emotionally abusive.
Your poor child.
That is so shocking.

Sorry OP, that really should have been reported.

He's the sort of arsehole father who will want them back around when the penny clicks they coild be free babysitting.

My friends ex was a selfish arse too and 8 years after he left, having only barely seen them EOW for an evening, his girlfriend had surprise twins.

Suddenly he was interested in his 16 and 18 year old being around their new siblings when they got to 4 months.

The very first time he mentioned them babysitting for a few hours he was shot down completely.
His children had no intention of being used.

They were quite happy seeing him every so often.

5 years on and they can go months not seeing him, even though he now tries to connect, it is simply too little too late.

Yup.. exactly . Plus I am not sure either of them will want this . They like to be home at mine one night at the weekend. I think he trying to engineer it that there is not as much change from a child support angle but them going to his mum's would not count as him having them i don't think ? And yes period thing so awful

I have a couple of friends who are social workers . There have been a couple of incidents that I have checked in on with them. The bar is higher /lower (depending on how you look at it ) than one might think.