Coming Clean by Liz Fraser

[RhinoRhino]

A couple of threads that I had posted on relating to the Memoir ‘Coming Clean’ by Liz Fraser have been deleted from the MN site, apparently due to non-compliance of the MN guidelines from the posters. MN are obviously well within their rights to delete threads if they demonstrably fail to comply with their guidelines, nevertheless I feel strongly that MN posters are given a platform to critique this book, and also any other public ventures by this author. It would be neither fair nor right that posters are completely silenced in this particular matter.

As such, and in line with Mumsnet not seeing “anything wrong with honest feedback” I would like to make the comment that Coming Clean as a Memoir falls short due to the shaky and not entirely truthful narrative. There are certain facts contained within this memoir that are easily disprovable (for example, relating to the marital status of both author and her partner when they started their ill-fated affair), which leaves a massive question mark over the rest of the book. Is it entirely reasonable to make money from something that is promoted as truthful when it is, in fact, not entirely true?

I think there are people whose lives have been negatively impacted by the book and its subject matter, and I hope that MN will agree that these people should have a voice, as should anybody who wants to comment on a published piece of work.

As long as posters align their comments with the MN guidelines, this is a topic that people may wish to keep discussing, and also keep in the public domain. And if MN wants to provide a set of rules particular to this thread – certainly if they are arbitrary and differ from the general guidelines - I am sure it would be very helpful.

Mumsnet, please help us to help each other by keeping in the public domain something that us silenced mums feel should be out there.

Liz has had a lovely night out with friends. I wholeheartedly approve. You can't beat a night of gossip with a bunch of lovely ladies. I don't know why she has kept herself to quarters for so many years, but maybe she now realises what she was missing by choosing to stay home. Good on her!

When she complains about the trolling all the time it’s interesting that she doesn’t ever actually quote any of it.
perhaps that is because so much of the trolling is factual.

🦏 are you on TL now? Just making sure all the OGs are there. I’m on but cannot create codes x

Is it trolling or chatting/debating/bitching?

Multiple times in the past few days she publicly posted on her open Instagram that pops up on my account without me asking, because this is what social media does and yes I did follow her, after I’d read her articles in media that I paid for without knowing the interview was in it because this is media for you and I thought were relevant to me! that she is “bitchin’ about the bitches.”

How is this different to what we’re going?

We’re all women who followed her because she somehow pushed herself into our worlds and not vice versa and in her words, “talking ALL the talk and loving and supporting each other, “bitchin’ about the bitches.”

Is this a nice agenda for a night out? Women trolling women? Or is trolling only trolling when it hits a nerve?

Oh, and she doesn’t mention that she “allegedly” physically stalked M’s girlfriend. “Allegedly” shouting at her and chasing her in Oxford.

Presumably, the same woman she ripped apart in a vile stream of vitriol on a instagram post that, yep, popped up on my insta stream because - this is what SM does.

It is not my fault that MN also pushes threads to me or that I can put 2+2 together and get 4.

Which category, HG, do all of the above come under?

I've just done the cambrisge race for life. Did it in an hour and half. Did it to help people with cancer, not to boast about myself. We're all different eh?

🥰

Says it all Tortie and well done you 😊
The difference between yourself and HG in this respect alone speaks volumes - when she could have used her voice/influence/connections to help others, but instead it was another opportunity to talk about herself/her achievements 🙄

Back for a sec. I don't want to to Tattle or Reddit I dont think. Been away for a few days. Just saying hi x

Not on TL yet, but have been given a code. Hope to get set up before too long. I see @ericalaing74 has entered the building in proper style!

Sorry - that message above was meant for @Intriguedbythis

My family and I “ran” the Oxford Race for Life today. It was a fun day, with a serious purpose. Lots of people running in remembrance or people with cancer running to help others who not able to run anymore. The community of the day was heartbreaking and heart healing. I feel sorry for Liz that she missed this side of the event.

in response to her, HEY, TROLLS. This woman runs faster than you can type your abusive sh*t

I say, HEY YOU. Other woman run together, for life. I’ll take this over running fast any day.

Reddit is confusing 😂

I say, HEY YOU. Other woman run together, for life. I’ll take this over running fast any day.

Perfect!! High 5 thingy!! It was a wonderful, uplifting emotional day! I did do it 2 minutes faster than my last one, but that was totally irrelevant.
So many women (and men!) supporting each other.

Sometimes I feel a bit sorry for her and then she posts something so tone deaf and offensive and I realise why we are doing this.
Not one shout out to the charity at all just me me me. It’s so vile.

I’d rather her call me a troll than be her of this I’m certain.

Another Oxford Race for Lifer. I’m actually a handy runner Liz, but chose to enter in the spirit of the day and ran with a group of friends from my alma mater, Oxford High School and our husbands and children. Like many others, we were decked out in pink and ran in spirit of and remembering a great girl from school who was taken too young by cancer. Far too young. Her girls and husband ran with us. They lived reading people’s back to see who they were running for.

We saw little kids, loads of walkers, dogs, everyone chatting and encouraging each other. Much nicer than being all alone looking back for competitors I reckon!

Having seen the IG posts. I went to google. I am just shocked at what I found and now thinking I am following a completely different person.
I am even viewing the posts over the last few days differently. Feel let down that I bought into this person and it’s starting to unravel for her now.

I have just had comments deleted which were links to interviews on This Morning by Liz Fraser? Not sure what guidelines they broke? 🤔

I was wondering what you’d posted!! How odd 🤔🤔

We all originally bought into her. We felt connected, which is why we invested in her. Bought he books, followed socials, felt broken for her. We’re all incredibly disappointed. She can behave as she likes, but it’s offensive that she misrepresents women living with stigmas. My husband died, but in the eyes of many, I’m a “single mum out for all I can get, lock up your husbands, pay up your taxes, because here she comes.” It’s not fair.

Weird. Anyone can google them. They’re in the public domain and they are recorded interviews in which she speaks candidly about her views.

It’s been many months since the first thread was started regarding the dodgy narrative of Coming Clean, and over a week since this latest one started, and I’m very disappointed that we are none the wiser as to why a ‘memoir’ advertised as a true story contains statements that are demonstrably untrue, and which are hurtful to real, living people. The lack of transparency over certain claims still leaves a question mark over the veracity of the rest of the book, and also other publications/broadcasts made by this author, including on social media. What are we to believe and what can we ignore as pure fabrication?

The question has always seemed to me to be quite a simple one, and I got quite hopeful over the weekend when it seemed @BadSkiingMum might be able to provide answers. Alas, hopes have been dashed. She put forward her views on Ms Fraser’s writing style etc, and actually made a valiant attempt at providing a balanced view on the subject of Ms Fraser’s ‘dubious’ activities. But, unfortunately she was unable answer the 6 million dollar question, so we’re back to square one.

In the meantime, Ms Fraser has been indulging in some very odd posts on social media, accusing nameless people of trolling her on-line. No details, such as where the trolls operate, or what she claims they have been saying, nor whether or not anything they say can be verified as vile lies. No. That would be way too open and above board. To save time she could just get out her sausages and wave them around, tbh. In any case, she should maybe take a leaf out of the MN Cleaners’ book and present objective facts in a calm and reasonable manner and invite the alleged ‘trolls’ to rebut if they choose. Would it be so difficult to enter into calm debate?

There’s something really whiffy and off about making random accusations about nameless people and getting into a huge tizzy about stuff that no doubt ‘can’t be talked about’, yet never getting to the detail of what she is banging on about. In any case, she cannot possibly be talking about the lovely MN Cleaners, because we don’t troll, we aren’t nasty, many of us have been through horrible traumas yet are still able to function. We don’t spend our lives blaming other people for our shortcomings, and we are a supportive lot on the whole. Regarding posts on other platforms, it can’t be helped if people are jumping ship to less moderated sites after being silenced so many times on this one. If only the silencer had thought of that before taking action.

Shall we issue another invite for her to come on here and join the love-in? We’re very nice to each other, Liz. You might learn something!