Coming Clean by Liz Fraser

[RhinoRhino]

A couple of threads that I had posted on relating to the Memoir ‘Coming Clean’ by Liz Fraser have been deleted from the MN site, apparently due to non-compliance of the MN guidelines from the posters. MN are obviously well within their rights to delete threads if they demonstrably fail to comply with their guidelines, nevertheless I feel strongly that MN posters are given a platform to critique this book, and also any other public ventures by this author. It would be neither fair nor right that posters are completely silenced in this particular matter.

As such, and in line with Mumsnet not seeing “anything wrong with honest feedback” I would like to make the comment that Coming Clean as a Memoir falls short due to the shaky and not entirely truthful narrative. There are certain facts contained within this memoir that are easily disprovable (for example, relating to the marital status of both author and her partner when they started their ill-fated affair), which leaves a massive question mark over the rest of the book. Is it entirely reasonable to make money from something that is promoted as truthful when it is, in fact, not entirely true?

I think there are people whose lives have been negatively impacted by the book and its subject matter, and I hope that MN will agree that these people should have a voice, as should anybody who wants to comment on a published piece of work.

As long as posters align their comments with the MN guidelines, this is a topic that people may wish to keep discussing, and also keep in the public domain. And if MN wants to provide a set of rules particular to this thread – certainly if they are arbitrary and differ from the general guidelines - I am sure it would be very helpful.

Mumsnet, please help us to help each other by keeping in the public domain something that us silenced mums feel should be out there.

this is a genuine question aimed really at anyone who puts themselves in the public domain, via social media perhaps but more than that by chronicling every single part of their lives in videos, photos, articles, books on tv and on the radio. You can’t do that without the people you are selling your books to or aiming your posts at or broadcasting to or writing for in the newspapers discussing what you have written or said. That’s how society works. You can’t share every detail about your life and make information about your every move public and then get angry that people know everything about you. Again this is applicable to ANYONE including celebrities and influencers who writes memoirs or personal articles for the papers or shares personal information about their families in these ways or on public social media. As we have also seen recently (and this is not about LF) the truth has a habit of catching up with people in the public eye when they have not been entirely truthful in what they write or broadcast or when they have been witnessed by others doing things they insist never happened or when what they write and broadcast actually conflicts with other things they have said in the public domain. It’s astonishingly naive for anyone to think otherwise and yet we see this with politicians and celebrities time and time again. That’s why tabloids continue to thrive. This last is a genuine question relating to LF. I’m genuinely puzzled as to how you can post constantly about being free and happy and living your best life and that you’ve never felt freer or happier or stronger and friends and travel and happiness, all of which is really positive to hear about anyone after a difficult time, but also say over this exact same period that you are in pieces.

I agree she put her address out there when she announced her publishing company and named it after her street. And if you write a book about your relationship and put multiple posts on social media everyday about your life including pictures of your children and their graduations et then you are exposing your life to comment. The answer is not to post about your life then others cannot comment

It’s a general rule across the board really

Exactly this. Also, what you as in anyone puts on the internet is indelibly printed in the public domain. Think before you speak applies to think before you tweet. If you say it, it’s said. It’s the same with actions. If you do it, it’s done.

Didn't watch the post-race blub-fest, but please, please, please tell me Ms Fraser was not using the platform of running a Race for Life (an amazing charity fundraiser for people affected by cancer) to bang on about herself and her wholly disproportionate reaction to people politely questioning her 'truth'? To railroad the raison d'etre of such a fantastic event would be utterly unedifying. Surely she didn't?

Well...where else?!

But she did make sure everyone got a Good Look at the medal...

She did! Shame on her! I were someone who knew nothing of her history I'd probably be taken in by the baloney she spewed forth. Fortunately I do and I wasn't!

Save yourself. Not a mention of the reason for the Race for Life, cancer or anyone affected by it. Not a mention either of the subject of the apparent trolling or the contempt of court! Contempt of what court? Oh. THAT court!

Do the crime and all the time you bump into people who know the time and the place and the people or the car crashes left.

as for the emails directly to her, etc, well surely she can get someone to reply to them/forward to the police/share online. Perhaps share it all online. Show the world what these dreadful untruths are. All else is shared. Why not these?

I once was. 🤷‍♀️

How many hundreds of those were handed out? 😂

My kids used to come home with neckfulls of medals every time they put on trainers or football boots. Nearly 8 or 48?!

I guess if we still haven't had an answer as to why the narrative of Coming Clean and many other narratives put into the public domain by Ms Fraser appear to be somewhat short of the truth, then we are at liberty to disbelieve anything we want of what she puts out there. I certainly choose to disbelieve the troll narrative. There's just too little detail and too much emotion for it to be rationally assessed, in which case it probably needs to be written off as nonsense. If there were specifics, we'd know about them.

I mean, it's not like anybody on here is trolling the readers of a true 'memoir' by pretending they and their new partner were 'newly single' when they met, when the truth is they were both very much married to unsuspecting partners when one of them went round to the other's house with two bottles of wine (when his wife was away). That's proper trolling right there.

This is an interesting article https://www.bonobology.com/do-cheaters-miss-their-ex/

this is also interesting… it’s not referring to anyone in particular https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder.htm#:~:text=Narcissists%20feel%20threatened%20whenever%20they,Their%20defense%20mechanism%20is%20contempt.

I wasn't going to watch that long video (because I knew it would annoy me). However, I watched it this morning over a cup of tea.

I think she has found her new crusade. Edgegway Press has lost its lustre as the means to get attention and narcissistic supply. She is now fully immersed in her new role as warrior-woman-against-the-trolls.

I took massive exception to her saying that, yes, she has "made mistakes" but then bats it away by saying "haven't we all"? I though for one minute she was going to give us an apology. But no, that was "nothing" compared with what is happening to her.

I wonder if the women whose lives she trampled over or her family she smashed to pieces thought it was "nothing" compared to "what I'm going through". Erm, really? As usual she got into her stride and lost track of what she was actually trying to say. She over-egged it so much (in case we didn't get the point) that the message was lot in the mire of over-statement and hyperbole. The last 5/6 years were awful, Liz, because you made them so for many people. And you still seem to think it is your entitlement and that people are showing "poor form" by pointing out that your behaviour was ... ABUSIVE. Like all bullies she has no thought for the victims she creates but is highly in touch with her own damaged ego.

I was just reading what @Alightening posted above and it is very illuminating. I believe she will stick with this topic for quite a while now. Perhaps it will be her next campaign. Liz the "cyber warrior". I can see her on those TV sofas with Holly, living her best life .....

A couple of inaccuracies:

1. She put her address in the public sphere naming her publishing house after the road she lives in and registering it at Companies House. It wasn't THE MORONS
2. These threads have been going for well over a year in their various iterations so I can't think that the "brought to my attention three weeks ago" fits the timeline. We might be off the hook ladies!

Loads more I could say but I'll stop there. Keep on cleaning.

I think she is quite limited by what she can do about the trolling as the more she talks about it the more likely people will find these threads and discover the truth

Apparently she has now changed her company address to a business one so perhaps she should be grateful for the warning from here that using her home addrsss, which the company is named for, and which is where she lives with her young child with window locks and layout laid bare on public social media was not a great idea

Also trolling is a hate crime so why doesn’t she make a police report.
Im not a Meghan Markle fan by any stretch but the vitriol against her is everywhere in the public domain. Also just look at what female politicians have to deal with, actually many females in the public eye.
If I was a head girl fan I might be inclined to think this trolling was a figment of her imagination as her accusations are so vague. But if she provides any links to this forum the cat will be out of the bag.

We highlighted to her the risk she was exposing herself and her daughter to by posting her address, front of house and video layout of the rooms and windows locks. In another life, she would think us for acting as her common sense.

Equally, advising against posting running routes, when the house is empty, either while out at events or on holidays. This is not trolling, it’s discussing common sense approaches to living in the modern world.

Through her own volition, she’s made people aware of her daughter’s school, son’s uni, dates of birth etc, all of which we’ve discussed as being against common online best practices. This is not trolling.

Ouch! Someone calling Liz an "Aging Anorexic" has hit a nerve. She mentions her at A LOT. And she's paired that she's anorexic. That's either fact or it isn't. There's no shame in it. And Liz definitely posted that she posted that she realised she was suffering from anorexia. If she's deleted that tweet, I know she did because I remember it. And aging? We're all aging. If you're nearly 50 (as she keeps mentioning) you are aging. Fact.

The poster who said she was an aging anorexic probably wasn't trying to be complementary, but if it's fact it's fact. Own it, Liz.

*Mentions her AGE a lot

Posted not paired- not sure what my key board is doing!

Anyone would have thought she’d had a major accident given the all the fuss made about falling down the stairs. Posts and posts about it. Good grief.

It was AWFUL. You DON'T UNDERSTAND.