Coming Clean by Liz Fraser

[RhinoRhino]

A couple of threads that I had posted on relating to the Memoir ‘Coming Clean’ by Liz Fraser have been deleted from the MN site, apparently due to non-compliance of the MN guidelines from the posters. MN are obviously well within their rights to delete threads if they demonstrably fail to comply with their guidelines, nevertheless I feel strongly that MN posters are given a platform to critique this book, and also any other public ventures by this author. It would be neither fair nor right that posters are completely silenced in this particular matter.

As such, and in line with Mumsnet not seeing “anything wrong with honest feedback” I would like to make the comment that Coming Clean as a Memoir falls short due to the shaky and not entirely truthful narrative. There are certain facts contained within this memoir that are easily disprovable (for example, relating to the marital status of both author and her partner when they started their ill-fated affair), which leaves a massive question mark over the rest of the book. Is it entirely reasonable to make money from something that is promoted as truthful when it is, in fact, not entirely true?

I think there are people whose lives have been negatively impacted by the book and its subject matter, and I hope that MN will agree that these people should have a voice, as should anybody who wants to comment on a published piece of work.

As long as posters align their comments with the MN guidelines, this is a topic that people may wish to keep discussing, and also keep in the public domain. And if MN wants to provide a set of rules particular to this thread – certainly if they are arbitrary and differ from the general guidelines - I am sure it would be very helpful.

Mumsnet, please help us to help each other by keeping in the public domain something that us silenced mums feel should be out there.

I could write something today regarding how both MH issues and issues with alcohol can be used against sufferers to demonstrate they are neither capable nor safe, and how weaponizing people’s MH and addiction issues is not a nice thing to do, especially when they are coping with really hard things on their own. Having mental health problems or being a recovering alcoholic, and having somebody continually engage in conduct at odds with your wellbeing during a difficult time through recovery must be awful.

But I won’t write about it, other than to say massive kudos to anybody who manages 3 years of recovery from addiction through some very challenging personal times.

On the subject of mental health, what about Headcase? I think Liz Fraser quite recently made the claim in the public domain that Headcase has helped lots of people. In which case, a very legitimate question, in line with MN’s talk guidelines, and bearing in mind that MN don’t “see anything wrong with honest feedback” would be: is there evidence available to demonstrate who has been helped and how? My Headcase was incorporated in 2016, produced one set of accounts – for a dormant company – in June 2018, and was compulsorily struck off the Companies Register in late 2018. I do recall that donations were solicited from the website, but there is no indication from the company’s filings as to where the money came from, how much was donated, and where it was spent.

On its twitter page, other than a “back soon” tweet in 2021, the most recent post was in 2017. This 2017 post was one of a series of pictures of smiling young people proclaiming their particular mental health issue. I found the series of photos really uncomfortable, and have no idea what they were trying to achieve. In My Headcase never explained, but if my memory serves me well, part of the mission of Headcase was to make mental health “beautiful”. Why? I think helping people with mental health issues live as full and productive a life as possible within the limitations of their illness would be a much more worthwhile aim.

It would be really helpful if next time Liz Fraser claims in an interview that Headcase helped lots of people, the interviewer delves into it and asks some searching questions regarding who, how, where and when. It really is just lazy journalism to take every guest at face value, and if the listener/reader cannot count on the veracity of the interview, what even is the point of it?

Anyway, echoing a certain style of writing …. I am ALLOWED to write this, no LIBEL here, and these are provable KNOWN FACTS that are on the record.

Ooh a dissenter has appeared on Instagram challenging the narrative on the latest look at me reel 😳 Watch out!

Yep, I think that is what did it! Help from more than one of you! Now trying to get everyone else in to TL...

Oh dear

Goodness….

Anyone else need a code?

I haven't had one I don't think 🤣🤣

Yes, I need a code please
Also polite comment raising some concerns was deleted. 🤷‍♀️

I've still got a few people waiting for codes, I think. If you DM me any you have, I can distribute them to people on the list.

Looks like the cleaners of dark Mumsnet have found a couple of new homes, so I think I’ll gather my mop and overall and join the herd sweeping majestically towards the lush plains (or should that be plain lushes?) of opportunity and hope. (And TL and Reddit)

And just pray that when I get there @ericalaing will be waiting ……….

Mumsnet, it’s been fun. But we’ve got to face facts.

When the fun stops, we stop.

We regroup.

And move on.

To what we hope will be better pastures …..

Not going to say anything about “own goals” because that would be churlish towards whoever has made it their mission to silence us.

Figuratively speaking, Mumsnet, I am waving sausages in your general direction!

I would love one

You've had a code now, haven't you?

@RhinoRhino your poetic post brought tears to me eyes . obviously I immediately took a selfie.
I have dug up my DV bulbs and will attempt to replant them( out of season) in new gardens over at TL and Reddit .
Yesterday was a hilariously ironic example of women supporting women in order to unsilence them and text book example of a SM own goal!

We just need to make sure we can get all the regulars across!
@Cambridge

Has anyone else noticed that tattle Life have disappeared some of the thread? It was 8 pages but now down to 6.

Sorry, posted too early! We need to make sure we can get the regulars over to TL and/or Reddit. These are just the names I can remember, sure we're missing lots more.

@CambridgeBun @ericalaing74 @Raydt @hazydaisy82 @Wrongsideofliz @marstonroadmrs @Umbrella99

I can still see 8 pages?

I have appointments this morning but will try and sort something out this afternoon

Thank you!

Tattle still has 8 pages

If anyone can code me I would be MUCH obliged. Ain’t that the TRUTH. However, if they have run out then no worries I will just lurk in the shadows laughing and cheering the Cleaning Ladies ‘ NEW FRESH start for a NEW me. BETTER than EVER before.

Also can any cleaners check if you can hint at the ruddiest, reddest of red on Tattle or is that still blocked / would risk the thread? Because people need at least the hints … 🤣

Added you to my list.

I'm happy to lurk on Tattle and watch what unfolds as I've no personal experience of her (thank heaven!) But I'll be cheering all you Cleaning Ladies on and keeping everything crossed that exposure - and I'm not referring to the disintegration of that ancient bikini, although that would be hilarious if a bit yuck! - eventually happens.

As an aside, I was astounded by today's insta post with TW and reference to the 'S' word (her term, not mine) - I've been through supporting my DH who attempted suicide 16 years ago and whilst it's - hopefully - in the past now, it's not something to be made light of the way she has. I can't honestly believe she's experienced this as recently as she claims. More BS, methinks.