Under His sausage, blessed be the alcohol, ak47s and online deliveries

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

And over,and under, to the left a bit ,to the right , ahhh right there! That's the spot!

Just keep killing...killing...killing

And breathing, and laughing, and moaning and ranting.

We ran out of soldiers and escaped the clap.
We cried and laughed and did silly crafts.
We analysed dogging and penis whips.

Assholes, plump vags , shit deliveries and hexing.

What mayhem will we discover next?

The web is dark and full of horrors... as well as faithful bananians marching valiantly over the hill to sit on benches and eat crisps.

Carry on my weary fluffballs of doom!

Morning, can't help on the lamb.

I don't/can't eat it. I can barely handle OH cooking it for himself in the house.

Morning anti-frotherites.

Annoyed i slept in again.😠
For anyone needing a chuckle or an all out dose of the giggles the thread mentioned earlier "Best responses on a thread" thread is fab. Read it all last night and the "Hugo" one thats linked in it is fantastic. Was laughing like a loon.
Will need to go a murdering today and get some shopping. Might drag ds2 along to double the count and go for a walk somewhere else today. If i can get off the sofa that is😄
Need to do more painting on my little table too. Bloody annoyed my nearest B&Q is an hour's drive away or i would be there getting paint to finish the bathroom in a shot.

No help on the lamb either havent cooked a leg of lamb in years due to price of decent lamb. Might see if i can get some mutton from local butchers now you put the idea out there. Long slow cook..but worth it apparently.

Miserable day not very enticing to go our and now its bucketing down so walks out the window.

May the sausage be with you.

Talking of sausages. Thank feck i didnt persuade ds2 to watch GOT with me😲😲😲 Its so err... roooood!!!!😉 getting a bit fed up with the endless bits flapping around😀 i am getting an old fuddy duddy i prefer a something left to the imagination these days. But never fear i will persevere I want to see dragons.😄😄 (not to mention Jamie's head on a spike in WH)

The nakedness reduces massively in the other series as for Jaime ... uhm.. yeah sure.

Yeah i know the bastards always survive the longest so i suppise this is no different😠 I just want rid of him he gives me the rage its not good for my blood pressure or my alcohol consumption🤣🤣

I bet you one sausage and 3 goats that you'll love him at some point.

I quite liked Jaime tbh

Hello fellow anti-frothers, the sun has returned to these dark, satanic hills. More migraine though and I'm seriously beginning to think I'm on my last legs! It's relentless

We killed so many over the weekend that I've decided to give the population a day off and go absolutely nowhere. It'll be school work and catch up on work deadlines. I'll leave the fate of the masses in all your very capable AK47 wielding hands today!

I got an email update from work that says bugger all. Certainly not when we will be back or how.
Oh and to tell them if we did any volunteer stuff. Like I'm gonna tell them so they can splash my 20 chins face around for free advertising. Although i can already say which of my fine co workers will have already emailed in details and pictures of their oh so brilliant volunteering and the (photgenic) little old ladies they helped.

Meanwhile I help milly cos she's 98 and I've helped her since I moved here and amazingly I noticed that she's not all that steady on her feet and doesn't own a car etc etc.
I suddenly feel like a killing spree, hoping to get my unlikable colleagues.
Yep its petty. Dont care.

Massive argument with mum... not ok.

@PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock what happen?

We are here. X

princess oh no, most wonderous leader. Do you want to vent? What can you do to help yourself feel better?

Oh hell Princess what about? Rant away on here.

Princess not ok isn't good

Short version..

Let's just say my childhood wasn't great. While I admit I was a twat , my mum was also abusive. I kinda let it go and have rarely made a fuss about it(mostly talk to my friends or post on here) , however every now and then she makes snide comments, moans how hard work and horrible I was and so on. Today she did her routine , adding how SHE is scarred by what happened. It was a bad day to do that so I kinda blew up.

The rest is rather predictable, she cried, dismissed any traumas or adverse effects,excuses, that never happened, playing victim and emotional blackmail - fine if I'm such an awful mum you don't have to ring me anymore, you can forget about me bla bla bla.

Sorry that wasn't so short after all

That's crap Princess but you need to let her stew in her own juice for a while. Being in denial of her own abuse to you isnt going to change and its fine that you spoke up for yourself. Bet it shocked her out of her own rose tinted version of her life. She didn't like having to confront that so turned it all on you.
I am sure its been bloody hard for you all this time going along with pretending it didnt happen but good for you in setting her straight. Sometines you need to make a stand.
Let her get on with it for a while.
I'd bet the farm she will contact you first as if nothing happened just so she doesn't need to confront the issue again.

You need to be kind to your self and step back for a while till she realises you arent grovelling and apologising for something thats true.
Once you are back in touch its up to you how you proceed. Accept the fact she will never admit her abuse or apologize for it or push it with her some more. You do whatever works for you and only you.

Oh I'll never apologise, I'm a stubborn dick like that.

Dunno what hurts me more, the fact that she honestly didn't remember some of the most traumatic things that happened to me.

The fact that she threw in some victim blaming because she was sensible and cold and reserved and men respected her and she never had nonsense (several sexual assaults) happen to her.

Or the fact that I wasn't even that bad. I did some drinking and lots of shagging, but never did drugs, had good grades, mostly kept to curfew, never trashed the house or was abusive back etc.

But she's the scarred one... dunno. Really struggling to put things into perspective now.

Princess, that sounds very difficult.

I'll be fine, I always am one way or another. Just need to get my head straight and get over myself.

Princess. Thank you for trusting us with this. I'm so very sorry for what happened to you. Clearly you are an amazing, strong and exceptionally intelligent lady.
Your grace and good humour and compassion for others shines through when you post.
It's ironic that children love and seek the approval of their abusers.
You've brought so much light into our lives over the past few weeks. I literally wake up, make coffee and log onto this post. it's kept me sane and that's down to your leadership and sense of fun.
You also have excellent taste in trainers.
If this were real life, you'd find cake, wine and flowers on your doorstep this evening. You deserve them our beautiful bodacious (my favourite word) leader.
Sorry, there is no emoji for a shiny new AK47 or a willy whip.

And because I'm a fucking princess and can't be depressing my own realm(you might start curtain twitching or something) ... yellow glitter for everyone, hot menz and some murderous giggles.

P.S. pink you know online delivery is a thing right? Just sayin'

Princess ** for you. I'm glad you felt you could rant here. And I'm sorry.

I really want humidititi to be a thing now.

@Pinkginhelps just for you

Princess....A big fluffy chocolate pudding with a gun. .
You know me too well.
I've tried to get a Waitrose delivery slot to send you all of your goodies but computer said No!
I'm swinging these humidittiies with wanton abandon in your honour.

I am so sorry Princess. Thats really shit! Its a common theme for people handing out abuse, to blame the victim. Doesnt make it any better for you, though.

Dpup posed for a photo just for you though. Doesnt fix things but may life your spirits.