Under His sausage, blessed be the alcohol, ak47s and online deliveries

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

And over,and under, to the left a bit ,to the right , ahhh right there! That's the spot!

Just keep killing...killing...killing

And breathing, and laughing, and moaning and ranting.

We ran out of soldiers and escaped the clap.
We cried and laughed and did silly crafts.
We analysed dogging and penis whips.

Assholes, plump vags , shit deliveries and hexing.

What mayhem will we discover next?

The web is dark and full of horrors... as well as faithful bananians marching valiantly over the hill to sit on benches and eat crisps.

Carry on my weary fluffballs of doom!

right, I suitably smashed and going to bed.

I hope everyone is ok. I will be back tomorrow with some suitable support. I dare not even try tonight 😃

But a fluffy pic

Nite nite shit can't wait to shout at you tomorrow!

@Shitsgettingcrazy wait, is being drunk in charge of a puppy even allowed??? Off to check dem der rulez.... 😂

Re the smartphone

It’s about downloading the covid tracker app. If you’re not willing to do it, you’re killing old ladies. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yeah well you can call me Banana the Gruesome Granny Genocide Starter then.

Jesus Christ, wtf happened to free will and independent thought?

Lets see how does this tracker work? Tells you if you have been in contact with someone positive?
I work in a supermarket. Depending on where i am working i could be in contact with between 50 and 200 people. But i wont have my phone!!!
Other than that a quick pop round the shop keeping out of everyones way once a week is the only time i will be out near people!
If i had my phone on at work the damm app would run the battery down in no time! Plus i could be in contact with someone have to miss 2 weeks of work unpaid then be back 10 minutes and get another alert! Wtf am i supposed to live on?

Toilet paper and cheese.

Willow - exactly!

I’m off to bed now, but just wanted to say thank you for each poster that supported me on my thread (which turned into something bizarre). I think I’m jinxed starting threads after that and the hot cross bun one. I shall avoid it in future!!!

morning all! I don't feel that bad this morning.....maybe I am still drunk?

Going to lay in the sofa, with coffee and the dogs!

@Thepigeonsarecoming what the fuck happened with Pheobe? I can't work out if they have always been a troll, or someone hacked her account? If they did, they read her old threads as she constantly talks about her mother and sister working in a covid ward.

Someone didnt hack it and then just start posting. Fucking bizarre. Right from the get go

I'm not having the app. I'm a pretty trusting person who is aware that most conspiracy theories flounder on the grounds that the government is not in fact capable of doing something that complex. However, I am not keen on downloading onto my phone an app which tells the government exactly where I've been and who I've met. You don't have to be a conspiracy theorist to think that might not be a great idea for civil liberties.

That video. I couldn't make it all the way through, but apparently one of the things wrong with the world before was too much screen time for kids. Not entirely sure kids are getting less screen time now.

I'm deeply suspicious of people who think life's better under lockdown, or it will lead to a better life (which coincidentally coincides with the political views they had before but no one would vote for.)

@Shitsgettingcrazy I did have a look at her previous posts as something felt very weird. She did talk about depression and paranoia back from early pregnancy days. I think she’s got major issues. I did actually wonder if it was her husband or schizophrenia

Even before her ‘husband’ posting her opinion changed on each post, even though none made sense to the actual topic! The only reason I didn’t lose it with her/him was that they genuinely seemed to think they were in the right despite everything. Something very very wrong there

I'm deeply suspicious of people who think life's better under lockdown, or it will lead to a better life (which coincidentally coincides with the political views they had before but no one would vote for.)

I am convinced most of the pro lockdown people, don't actually care about covid that much. They are just happy they have now have a socially acceptable reason for the opinions they have always had. I won't be downloading the app either.

@Thepigeonsarecoming the cynic in me thinks 'she' doesn't exist.

My best friends ex husband, used to post online as woman. On many forums and dating sites. It was creepy as fuck. Some of the sites, he had been posting on for years.

@shits possibly, but she has many many posts detailing pregnancy from early days to post birth, tbh I can’t see what a bloke has to gain from most of them. The only general theme is anxiety and maybe post natal depression. But considering she talks about things like no sex life and recently criticising in laws and DH for wanting to meet up, it does seem weird she’s suddenly let her DH onto her account, I wouldn’t! Guess we’ll never know...weird as fuck though the whole thread turned out to be 😂

Morning bananian heroes and most resplendent yellow and wicked of highnesses.
Gosh, it all kicked off on pigeon's thread. Perhaps phoebe is actually a cat.
Princess... That video is not pleasant with a hangover. A couple of people on faceache have posted it too. Just yeuch inducing.
The sun is trying to come out so I will do some murderous rampaging later.
Pizza or steak for dinner, that is the question...

@Smile (incidentally, why can I tag some people and not others?) that article pretty much sums up my concerns, particularly mission creep. We've seen this sort of thing already with some of the anti-terror measures then being used for other purposes. I do think there are some in the government who are keen, as the saying goes, not to waste a good crisis. If we can normalise government tracking through this, they think, then we can probably keep doing it for ever.

On the bright side, we discovered last night that the take away that is open is vastly superior to our normal take away, and no more expensive.

morning fellow bananians

I drank too much last night. my head hurts!

not sure how much killing I am capable of today as mostly just want to lie in bed watching netflix (like a good and proper lockdown citizen!)
Im sure I will at least manage some online shopping though!

isay how are you feeling today? There is no denying this is a totally shit situation for most people. But you need to hang in there and we will come out the other end of it and then you can start working out how to take good care of yourself and get back on that road to feeling better about life.

I am sadly going to have to hide yet another of my fb friends who is ranting at the fact there are cars on the roads, and how can people even consider lifting lockdown, like ever.......
I really dont understand how these people think it is OK to live like this indefintely......

right, off for more coffee and some paracetamol (which is probabaly against the roolz cause obvs all paracetamol should be saved for THE FIGHT against THE VIRUS and most certainly not used for the relief of a self inflicted hangver!!)
Save me a man folk for when my hangover has gone!

blessed day

MORNING!! HOW ARE YOUUUU?

Saw this this morning and it really tickled me. Should I order a batch for the realm?

@Thepigeonsarecoming your right. We won't ever know. As I said, i an skeptic just because if what we found through my best friend.

He had a whole in line persona. Had a Facebook for the women he was meant to be and everything. Kids, a husband etc. He also sought attention by faking severe depression and self harm, asking for people to support him. Its was fucking weird. Scary weird!

But there's the possibility she is also struggling and lost her shit. Or her other half really hates her being on mn, read what she wrote and tried to get her banned. All options are concerning. For different reasons.

Still no hangover! Watching Saturday kitchen, thinking 'oh I will try that this week then realising we actually have very little food in and i can't face queuing on a Saturday at the supermarket.

@PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock I think conspiracy theorists would love these. A way to be identified as not one of the 'sheeple'

oh also on the 'who signed this petition' thread about extending mat leave, someone is trying to tell me women have a statutory right to socialise during maternity.

Apparently, the fact that no one has the right to socialise freely at the moment is passing the poster by. Not sure why this poster thinks women on mat leave have a statuary right to it, above someone on a day off.🤷‍♀️

Check out the ASDA thread. More drama and action than a Mission Impossible movie.

I can't find it. Whick topic is it in?