Jackass whisperers against the cheap beer virus

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Thread number...4?!? Fucking hell I've never been so popular.

Keep on keeping on and ,moan,whinge and laugh while you enjoy your deliveries and cackle evilly while you kill thousands.

All under the benevolent eye of your awesome , yellow and very ripe leader.

May the bleach be with you.

I detest charity singles too.

They always make me think of the episode of the Simpsons with little Timmy down the well and Sting's charity single.

Isabelle are you all right after your injury?

I hate charity singles too.

@Pinkginhelps rant away. So much 'look what I'm doing aren't I fab' bollocks going on in the media and the world of 'celebrity'. I hope they get bored of it soon.

Also competitive lockdown. That seems to be a thing. "Ooh I've only stepped out of my house once in 6 weeks to stock up my 3 fridge freezers, all you who go out more than that shouldn't be allowed to use the NHS." Oh ffs shut up you plonker.

Hex hex hex.

Isabelle are you all right after your injury?

It's been up and down. The first few days were agony, then it seems to suddenly get quite a lot easier, quite quickly. But then it got worse again. Maybe I overdid it...

But it will be fine. I'm not needing to take painkillers and I can manage walking around the house ok. Would love to be able to go out for a walk or something, but I'll just have to be patient.

Thanks for asking.

isabelle good that you’re feeling better but take it easy

You can take this from the Queen of Idiots, should have seen me rushing about when the cast came off a broken ankle- I was v stupid.

isabelle have they done anything for it or is it just rest and take painkillers when needed? Was it xrayed?

Yes, it was X rated and they were satisfied that it just needed rest and elevation etc. Which was at least a good result.

isabelle "Yes, it was X rated"

ooer Isabelle.

Yes, it was X rated

Just a thought did you go to an actual hospital or something pretending to be a hospital with cameras????

Take it easy, you dont need to be sitting down 24/7 but dont over do it, it needs to heal.

Isabelle where is this hospital and were the doctors like the Spanish police? Asking for a friend

Now that is an auto correct to behold Ooops!

If the doctors at my local A&E looked anything like those Spanish soldiers, I'd be a nuisance repeat visitor.

Sadly I have had the misfortune to be there twice in the past year (having only had cause to go to A&E once before in my whole life, about 15 years ago) and the doctors looked like terrified sixth formers on work experience. Why does everyone look so young once you reach 40ish yourself? And don't start me on the police...

Well that definitely puts a damper on the X rated experience, unless you're into the cougar thing.

Oh God the blessed Picnic thread was still going. Where is the OP? I told them on another picnic, which was lovely (and it was, DC climbed a tree, other families had a badminton net) all very lovely...give them some more froth I guess

Just seems so bizarre as it is totally normal in our park now. People out enjoying the sun, apart from each other, all very civilised.

Yes they are like students in out local hospital too. I've an unusual surgical condition and they look really freaked out when it is mentioned. Very sweet though

afternoon all
some excellent sinning been going on.
Not much to report from my afternoon as I have been lazy staying home and SAVING LIVES
I am about to do some more on line ordering though...so there will be deaths coming my way next week,
Blessed day (of picnicking)

Claps for Max SAVING LIVES Well done

I don't really get why they can't put all the virulent in those big hospitals the people might be less scared to go in the normal ones?

I confess I've not saved any lives today. In fact probably killed umm hundreds of thousands.
So I want spag bol today and had no onions, I've also eaten a lot more bread again, actually a whole loaf in two days, so that's my excuse for buying said onions and bread and strawberries and cream. All totally necessary.
I've been for a huge hike in the woods, around two hours of avoiding the many many people already in the woods. Never usually see more than 2 people in those woods, today I saw hundreds of bloody people. I wanted my ak47 but forgot it, dammit.

Still dogs are knackered and I dont feel as bad as i thought i would. It's the longest and furthest I've walked in weeks. So not so unfit.

I'm sorry for all those with broken teeth, cant be any worse pain. I hope you all get to a dentist soon. I found my lovely dentist after years of being terrified of them and ignoring my teeth.

I'm so sorry that your birthday was , well, shit. Could you have another birthday next time the kids are at their dads and just do bugger all?I'm sure our esteemed Princess of ripe and yellow wonderfulness can decree it so. Your Bananian comrades will be happy to enforce this with AK47s should our wondrous and rebellious leader command us to. I'm sure a little light rampaging with AK47s would be wonderfully cathartic in current climes.

I am going to tell dp this is what i am doing. I slept in this morning at least.

Unfortunately, dp has a migraine. Which is worrying me. He has now missed 2 scans. I am a worried its a sign his condition is getting worse.

@PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock our glorious leader. I think you are right. I get so little time alone, its seeming like an attractive option. And yes, its like being expected to perform. Since I am spending so much time performing for work, I just wanted a day off.

My work phone has been going off all day, with pointless emails. First time ever, I have switched it off. I can feel myself getting anxious everytime it goes off.

Of course I love Dp and don't really want him to go.

I'm sorry your birthday was naff but glad you managed to talk to your DP. I've sent a couple of hexes his way, nothing too drastic just perpetual wedgies and an itchy bum hole. Hope that's ok

That sounds perfect!

@maxandezra yeah, I think a day totally alone before or after my birthday is the best option.

glad you and dp talked it over. Its always worse when people screw up on your birthday but hopefully now he has apoligised you can both make up for it another day.

We will do, hopefully.

I'm sorry your birthday turned out the way it did. I'm my house we are King or Queen for the weekend after or birthday and get 3 days of doing anything we want. Food films etc. I hope you get to do a rerun today or next weekend

All this queen needs is a day in bed. I dont want to talk to anyone, just watch films. The minions will need to bring food though 🤣

I was a single parent for a few years. Dp moved in about a year ago. But worked odd shifts, so I still got time alone. Its sounds awful but, due to lockdown the only time I am alone, is the food shopping and I miss it.

3 days alone sounds like absolute bliss. When I get my team back, I am booking sometime off and spending it all in my room. 😃

Any, stopping the moaning now. Am sending dp to bed, ds is playing on his xbox. I will have at least a hour alone!

At least I haven't killed many people today!

Enjoy your hour, even better get a book and have a long bath. You're unavailable.

Turn your phone on silent at the weekends too,you'll see/reply when and if you want to.

And I'd definitely make sure you get some time to yourself even if not possible daily. Send everyone out, lock yourself in a room or even better go for a long loooong walk with bench sitting walk.

@PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock its my contract as senior eldership I must answer it whenever it goes off.

Not doing it anymore. Its actually not allowed and effectively puts me on call 24/7 including my annual leave.

O have emailed my boss and HR made them aware and switched it off. They have my personal phone of its a real emergency.

As of tomorrow I am getting back to eating healthy and taking the dogs out, first thing. Before everyone else gets up. I love that time of day and, yes, I may sit on a bench.

I really need to slow down. Realised my entire day is worrying about work or everyone else. If I get 10 minutes break, I spend it with the kids. Or dp. I don't just sit for 10 mins and enjoy a coffee. I log on early, log off late and then stress myself. Making sure I am also spending time with them. Leaving no time for me.

Dp is up and running me a bath. He looks quite weak but better than he was earlier.

I am actually glad we had the blow out. And so glad all you wonderful wicked people are here. Talking it through with you all has made me realise I need to stop stressing and take time for me. I probably wouldn't have reacted how I did, if I had done this earlier

So you may have killed thousands. But you all saved me!

You all deserve the clap

We're always happy to sacrifice the masses for the one (we like).

We're big fans of the smaller good .

You can keep your clap tho.

yeah. You arent really getting a clap.

At most, I would sit on the sofa, posting that I was clapping on Social media. A fake clap. Cause you know, posting on Facebook makes a person a hero!

Actually, I did manage to piss one friend off on Facebook. She has done her first 2 shifts in a care home. Really hard work.

We are in the same groups, so I see alot of her posts. In 4 days she has posted at least 30 times saying 'well I am a key worker' or 'as a key worker' or 'after my long shift, as a key worker' or 'I feel bad using the shopping slot at the supermarket, but what else can I do when I am a key worker?' The answer to that one is, send you husband as he isnt working and your mum lives with you and watch the kids, but she is entitled to use it, so whatever.

Anywah I posted this. She got pissed off, then I pointed out surely she would only be pissed off if she was one of the first group.