Jackass whisperers against the cheap beer virus

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Thread number...4?!? Fucking hell I've never been so popular.

Keep on keeping on and ,moan,whinge and laugh while you enjoy your deliveries and cackle evilly while you kill thousands.

All under the benevolent eye of your awesome , yellow and very ripe leader.

May the bleach be with you.

I second what our regal Princess said.

It sounds like you're worn out Shits, maybe your birthday was a catalyst for that. I hope you manage a chill out tonight and hope your DP recovers from his migraine soon, I can sympathise.

Gonna try to sound all wise and grown up now..

The thing is even when everything is running smoothly no one can be the perfect worker, partner,parent and look after themselves. Balls fall. So it's unrealistic and by the sounds of it quite harmful to yourself to try and do it now when even more people want a bit of yourself and they all intermingle.

So start prioritising... time for yourself in the morning (you're up at the crack of dawn anyways) .

Then work is work, your kids are older so can entertain themselves and look after themselves and they have your partner as an extra adult. If at all possible don't do everything at work just because you can or think you should. Work your hours if possible, take your breaks and lunch and then when you're done you're done.

Spend some time with the kids,have dinner ,watch a movie etc.

Another walk or whatever for an hour to yourself.

Hang out with you partner .

Work won't build you a statue at the end of this, hell they probably wouldn't give you the clap.

Your partner is a grownup and must understand that you need a break, from everything including him and he should be supporting that.

And your kids won't end up in long term therapy because mum needed to be shits and not mum once or twice a day.

Sometimes good enough just has to do. Hell good enough is going above and beyond really.

@CrowCat thank you. Feeling much better, sure we will be fine

Oh supreme leader you do speak sense. You are absolutely right. I think dp does usually get that I need time to myself. He is usually fine with it. I think he pro ably felt the need to preform in a certain way as it was my birthday.

The pressure definitely comes from me. I'm reality the kids are fine. If they need anything dp sorts it. If I wasn't working from home we wouldn't get that much time together, anyway. I suppose I felt, they should feel the benefit of me being at home.

Work out immense pressure on, but I can usually deal with that because I don't have all the extra stuff.

But you are right. My team won't come back either while I am 'coping.

I am all good now. Thanks agai. X

Aaand the grownup moment is gone

Great advice from Princess glad you are taking it Shits.

Sometimes we have to just step back and think about 'me' and how everything else affects us while we are trying to be everything to everyone. Its not possible to maintain that. We need to accept that and tell everyone else that too.

Wonder if Anusol will cure the clap?

Standard reply for all the frothers posts

9gag.com/gag/ayeEQr8?ref=ios

Love that!

Having to hide so many threads before I go on and probably end up getting reported

People do realise that these 'rules' they keep banging on about are still just referred to as 'guidelines' even by the government website??

Who knew so many people loved the idea of having 'rules' imposed on them?? To the extent that they want to refer to guidelines as rules

My brother is unfortunately one of them and we may end up falling out if he doesn't just calm tf down with his 'do as you are told, no exemptions' bullshit.

The irony is that in normal a lot of them are against most rules ..like schools,receptionists,terms and conditions, any kind of common sense etc.

I managed my swim in the lake! (Was a bit paranoid and stayed within a depth of about 18 inches, whereas in normal times I'd have been seeing if I could swim lengths!) But wow, my back feels better for it. Can't believe I've let worrying about what other people might think of me put me off from doing something necessary for my health for so long! (Particularly as no one actually saw me, so there was no one to think evil of me.) Probably murdered thousands though - maybe thousands of ducks?

Back from daily exercise Under His Eye.

I met a lady trying to do the social distancing dance, told her “I’m not fussed if you’re not fussed”.

And we started talking....

She’s a nurse on maternity leave. She said she’s upset that such a fuss about a disease can not just happen, but be encouraged into hysteria by government.

She’s got an older child as well as a baby and said she’s now really scared about the world they’ll grow up in “because they’re teaching us to treat fellow humans the worst way possible” and “what on Earth will happen to our taxes”.

Then I sat on a bench in the park - so basically got my AK47 out, right?

And a dodgy young lad came and did a sort of psst..at me....he’s just out of prison and do I know anyone who will do a home hairdresser visit?

I don’t 😂

He got released because of Covid, I didn’t ask what he was in for. Then he said he’s staying with his mum, who has had scans cancelled and he’s worried about her but no consultants in the borough will do them at the mo. “Is this right?” he said, “when I was inside I didn’t know the hospitals had stopped”.

So that’s today’s edition of Scenes from Lilac’s life.

X post

Nice one Patte!

Oh I forgot

The lady also told me she wears a mask when shopping because she has a 4 month old. She says she hates it, and she got shouted at by someone in the shop who thought she wasn’t social distancing enough.

@LilacTree1 I haven't spoken to a human face to face since Thursday when the arsehole security guy at Boots wanted me to leave DD2 outside. They were not friendly words. I did laugh with my neighbour through the fence so I suppose that counts. Death toll: millions.

I'm glad you got some exercise Patte, absolutely essential.

Crow one thing about a tower block is you see people every day. I have a couple of neighbours who want to wait for lift to come back down even if there’s only one person in it...
But generally people are chatty.

Thanks Lilactree! It's made a huge difference to my mental health as well - I spent most of Friday just wanting to cry because I could feel my physical health (which I've worked really hard to regain) slipping away. DH talked sense into me, thank goodness, and told me I really needed to do the swimming even if I felt judged (we live in Wales and our FM said he didn't think people should be out swimming, so that's not reassuring!) for it. And came up with me for moral support.

I do worry about what this is teaching children about how to relate to people. Are we going to have a generation that's scared of human contact (and bleaches their shopping)? And also, some of the stuff I've seen puts undue pressure on children - something was being widely shared on Facebook before lockdown, the gist of which was, "Children, wash your hands or Gran might die!" What's a child who's been told that going to think if Gran does die? More than likely that it's their fault for not washing their hands well enough!

Fellow killers, I'm feeling a bit down.

I am really struggling with my weight. I've never been a wee slim thing (well, not since I was about 20) but I was never terribly overweight. It was more a case of 'oh, I'd love to lose half a stone and look better in my jeans' than 'oh, I'm overweight'.

Well, I've been sick on and off since about December (nothing serious, just was in a lot of pain and couldn't exercise, plus I comfort ate) and then lockdown. And now I'm properly overweight. It's a struggle to zip up my jeans. And I got the measuring tape out and realised that my measurements put me up almost two clothes sizes in the past few months. And I can't do much to tackle it at present because no exercise plus limited vegetable shopping opportunities plus boredom doesn't exactly equal weightloss.

@Patte I'm so jealous, I love swimming, especially outdoor swimming.

@LilacTree1 I'm glad you got out and had a chat, even if the bench one was rather weird. But I suppose by now you're a hardened criminal yourself.

Patte “ What's a child who's been told that going to think if Gran does die?”

Totally agree.

Isabelle - I guess it depends really how you feel about it and the £ situation. I’m lucky, I have a local greengrocers so no queueing at a shop for fresh veg. Have you got £ for a veg box?

I’m gaining weight, I have a constant battle due to medication. I think I’m okay to lose the battle but people will be a bit shocked when they see me. I’m bursting out of my jeans as well and no money for new.

Princess there was another lady on another bench who looked at us very disapprovingly. I nearly said “hey lady, we’re breaking the law too”.

isabelle I feel ya. I'm on the other side . Always fat, but various levels of fat with sometimes even looking ok and losing weight. However when I lose it's face,arms,legs and belly last if I get there and don't stall. When I gain, I gain belly first. And fuck me have I gained recently.
Even if I keep the food down/keep to the "before" routine the complete lack of movement (as little as it was) still fucks things up.

There are a few things you could try if you don't have a lot to lose .

I’m lucky, I have a local greengrocers so no queueing at a shop for fresh veg. Have you got £ for a veg box?

I'm in a rural village so no greengrocer, but I might investigate if anyone is doing vegetable boxes. We go supermarket shopping about once a week and at the moment the quality in there just isn't great, everything seems to be on its last legs by the time we get it home.

Princess “ There are a few things you could try if you don't have a lot to lose .”

So many ways to interpret this. 😂

However when I lose it's face,arms,legs and belly last if I get there and don't stall.

Oh yes! I'm am apple shape and to be honest my arms and legs stayed skinny for a long time after my belly did, so I spent quite a long time convincing myself that I wasn't really overweight, because I still had slim legs

The other day I was walking into a shop and saw myself reflected in the glass and I thought 'my legs look like two parsnips' and the penny dropped. I can't be in denial any more.