Jackass whisperers against the cheap beer virus

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Thread number...4?!? Fucking hell I've never been so popular.

Keep on keeping on and ,moan,whinge and laugh while you enjoy your deliveries and cackle evilly while you kill thousands.

All under the benevolent eye of your awesome , yellow and very ripe leader.

May the bleach be with you.

Nothing like a well placed hex 

@PrincessConsueIa I've done the pale rose gold at one side and turquoise at the other. Figured the sun would be a good developer plus I don't have any tin foil so it's best I could think of. Fingers crossed! She's super excited.

Happy birthday shits, hope your day gets better.

I have upped my murder total by leaving a box of cake for the neighbours - they've been really helpful the last couple of weeks so it's a thank you (and means I won't scarf it all!)

Other than that, I've had no time for murder, been too busy trying to get stupid videos to upload to stupid Blackboard website. (Yup, I teach in a university. In a subject which is relatively hard to reach remotely.)

Tomorrow though I might go outdoor swimming. (In a small safe local lake which no one else seems to be swimming in at the moment, because if I don't swim soon my back will stop working, and I'll have to bother one of the angles about it.)

Just back from a joyous forage at the secret shopping haven of delights. We were the only people other than the shop staff. Bliss!

Along with tonight's dinner (no gruel or sawdust or tinned stuff), we added some delightful looking pale rose and a big box of peppermint creams.

We are going for a 70's retro theme but couldn't find any black forest gateau for dessert so have settled for chocolate eclairs.

I reckon the murder count for this must be in the thousands despite me opening the shop door by pushing it with my butt.

We saw the local village fuzz on his pushbike on the way home so I slid down in my seat and looked the other way so he wouldn't recognise me. This is because I waved at him yesterday on my way home.

I think I must have killed several thousand today. DD went to waitrose to do shop for my (posh) parents. I went to Sainsburys to do our shop and of course was finished before DD had even got into the shop. Whilst waiting for her I spotted an old friend Unloading shopping into his car so started chatting (as you do but maintaining the crucial 2m ) only to have the waitrose trolley lady dash across the car park, grab his trolley “ you’re holding people up sir” and whisked it back for its disinfecting 😂😂😂 am I evil for chuckling ? I AM sympathetic - really I am - and she must be having a rubbish time of it but the thought that one trolley could cause So many problems made me a bit 😳😳

Die ! Die ! Die!

Let's have a moment of silence for all the victims of "eating food that doesn't look like cat food and tastes like cardboard ". Blessed be your grits,may you rise to Heaven the the sound of garden music and a bbq smoke halo.

have you seen the milkshake thread?

Did it bring all the boys to the yard? And they weren't keeping a 2m distance at all times?😂😂

Princess “ Did it bring all the boys to the yard?”

Damn, beat me to it!

Blobby “ the thought that one trolley could cause So many problems made me a bit 😳😳”

Quite.

I know the supermarkets did well in the initial stockpiling but I wonder how they’re doing now. Must be a nightmare for staff.

Yep- we've just cracked open a bottle! My DD's b'day, not that I'll see her- my little gs has cancer and she's doing the chemo mum thing as we speak in hospital so lockdown is no biggie to her 😔 Of course she will safeguard her family but doesn't have the luxury of time to curtain twitch. That's what pisses me off in particular about the self righteous twats who bang on about others' misdemeanours- they have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. My son is a nurse and was berated for daring to sit on a secluded park bench walking home from his night shift recently. My work brings me into contact with some very vulnerable people who are struggling in all sorts of ways without all this shit making them feel guilty for daring to talk to a shop worker/ take an extra walk per day etc. Some control freaks are in for one hell of a shock when life slowly gets back to a bit of normality!

Afternoon all you jail dodgers.
Work was pretty ok. I will never be barista of the year but the oerson on with me was a great guy so made a huge difference.🤣🤣

Toddled around B&M and got my shower rail and some food shopping. Couldnt find any glasses though! Thought one of 'the roolz' was they HAD to stock essentials?? or did i just make that up? Well everyone else seems to be doing it

Crikey that poster on the 'cough' thread just isnt giving up are they?

I coughed at work today but nobody dropped dead funnily enough.

Shits hope your birthday improves and dp gets his head out his arse. Mine was shit too so i can empathize.

Need to go check out that new thread sounds like another GF.

Suppose i had better make tea. Damm kids always needing fed selfish buggers.

@smileyoriley - sorry your GS is sick Have a drink or three for your DD and think happy thoughts (and murderous ones about the curtain twitchers). You are so right, everything has lost perspective.

@PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock - We've been out , we all sat on a bench but just drank Well, cheers to that I really hope it was a Corona. That will really give the frothers something to tut at.

I thought crazy cough poster never came back after her first post?

It was red bull and ofc fags. Still froth worthy.

Smile is your DP still breathing? Were your drains cleared and your vag thoroughly plumped?

@Smileyoriley sorry to hear about your GS, I really hope he recovers. Happy Birthday to your DD. Have a drink or three.

thought crazy cough poster never came back after her first post? i meant the other crazy one who has tsken over bossing everyone around and demanding hslf the population stay home forever.

Smiley
Happy birthday to your DD and every good wish and everything crossed for a complete and speedy recovery for your dgs.

What a worthy risky mission you embarked on. No wonder you didn't want to give it away, if anyone tried to stop you it might've turned bloody.

Enjoy the plumbing and pumping and plumping.

Evening all, well the hair dyeing was a complete fail. Back to the drawing board.

The family next door but one have got their DD, her fella and their brood over. They sound so happy all out in the garden killing millions.

Beer and a film for me tonight, it's lovely out but I'm ready for my pjs.

How's your day been @Shitsgettingcrazy? Hope you have a good evening

What happened? Didn't take?

No it just washed straight out. Never mind! We had some fun messing with it

evening all
smile I am actually so happy your mission was succesful! Well worth it (well hopefully!)
crow thats a shame about the hair....

Fairly low kill day for me today. Did go for a run with ds2. Actually did stop to chat to neighbour who was washing his car on the way back.

We've had quite a pleasent evening. Im now drinking wine so further random on line shopping could happen.

I know I really shouldn't mention this but I cant help wondering what the actual robust scitnitifc evidence is for this whole 2M thing. Is there actually any? People are so stressed about it, but really - has anyone actually demonstrated that the virus can travel 1.99 M between people but not 2M or can it even travel 1M or actually, in realitiy does no one have a f*ing clue and 2M is a totally made up number?

anyway...off to top up my wine glass....

Under His Sausage (which is quite probably the best phrase of all time, and definitely needs to feature in the next thread title!)