Jackass whisperers against the cheap beer virus

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Thread number...4?!? Fucking hell I've never been so popular.

Keep on keeping on and ,moan,whinge and laugh while you enjoy your deliveries and cackle evilly while you kill thousands.

All under the benevolent eye of your awesome , yellow and very ripe leader.

May the bleach be with you.

Lilac they could die and people would still be bitching that they're just attention seeking, haven't read the room and that they picked the worst time for it.

shits happy birthday. Sorry it s not turning out too well. Hopefully your Oh may come back in a better mood after his walk. My Dh was also in an extremely bad mood yesterday. He seems slightly better today....

so morning fellow banana rebells.

Not sure what is on the cards today. Have been chipping away at some much needed cleaning this morning so far. Now having a cuppa break.

Feel the need to order some new bedding so will have a browse later.

and will be having a bbq later as dh managed to get some gas.

that should kill a few thousand!

Under his Eye

@PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock @PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock

Thanks. He is normally lovely. I think it got my goat, because yesterday it was "its your birthday, I know it will be a bit crap, but we can do whatever you want"

And then this morning, its about how he wants it. He is back and gone and sat in the back garden.

Think I am gutted because this is what it was like with exh. Every year he would make some shitty comment to make me feel shit on my birthday. To the point I refused to even acknowledge it. To be fair dp is my usually really good with birthdays.

I need to not take it so personally.

Shits I can relate to that. Can you tell him how you feel so at least he can understand where you're coming from? I do hope your day improves .

@Shitsgettingcrazy yeah that's a him problem by the sound of it. A coffee in bed on your birthday isn't a big ask.

Hopefully he comes back in a better frame of mind and you can manage a decent day

Morning fellow Bananian murderers and frother antagonists,

Princess ...don't leave, your wit and sanguine comments are keeping us going (in these troubled times).

Shits .. Happy birthday. I'm so sorry that it's not gone well. My guess is that if it's not going well with your usually lovely other half, there's something going on with him that he hasn't shared. Maybe just struggling too. This is so hard and we all have up and down and in between and batshitcrazy days. Can you summon the will to go and plonk some makeup on or whatever makes you feel better and then take a few deep breaths, find OH and say sorry that you snarled?

There's nothing more powerful than an apology (other than a cheeky BJ). Even when you feel you are the one who deserves the apology. It might get him talking about how he is feeling and you both might end up having a lovely day.

If not...hopefully you've got some chocolate/ cake/ booze - whatever your treats are and can console yourself with those.

Wishing you a peaceful day. (cake)

PS ..why can't I work out how to do the emojis?

Oh I'm not leaving (unless they kick me out), just won't engage with frothers and their bullshit anymore.They can name call and bully all they want, but I call one spoilt and entitled(using their own words) and I'm aggressive and at risk of suspension. Screw that, I need my royal subjects and bananians and their pets and frivolous purchases to get me through this.

Pink what platform are you using? Phone,computer, website app?

Hurrah! All hail our wonderful ripe and wise Princess.

I'm using windows on lap top. I use my phone sometimes but normally windows. I type a bracket with the word in it but can't make an emoji.

I wanted poor Shits to have some cake.

I think it needs square brackets?

I only use the app so I have them all under a handy emoji icon.

Pink, white you see your window to type a post, scroll down and you should see a list.

Am I right in thinking the tide is turning on this controller virus?

Thanks my fellow murderers!

pink now a chance is he getting a blow job! Especially since I didn't get my sleep in and my kids are back tomorrow. Then I am working again next week.

If he wanted a blow job, he could have let me get some sleep

Shits and .

Shits - just being flippant about the BJ.

Pinkginhelps I know, don't worry.

It made me laugh

Posters who say “quick post” and then type a dissertation

What’s that about?

I have a murderous cake in the oven (it used three eggs!) and am lying on the sofa admiring my bright red toenails ....

Under his sausage.

We've been out , we all sat on a bench but just drank no crisps, so haven't been as murderous as I would've liked .

I'm definitely getting fatter and ridiculously unfit though. Had a race with DD and nearly died.

Another one asking why is B&Q open, and why are things 'getting back to normal'

Mum's hair salon is in full swing in our garden. DD is thrilled. I need a beer.

I think the 'back to normal' thing was bound to happen after 5 weeks of lockdown and the government not really giving people a clue about the 'exit strategy'. We're all making our own exit strategies while they faff.

Ohh Crow pics when it's done. You putting both colours in?

Ok we're hexing people now? God this thread moves so quickly.
Right happy birthday shits, hex on your DP
Theres a fuck load of burfdays on this thread. Are we all interbred or summat?
Zero kill day for me today. I did try but when I took dogs out there was no one in the park, not even at a great distance.
Tomorrow I'm upping my game.

When tomorrow's hangover finishes I'm going to take me, two dogs, DP and some little old lady I know for a massive hike through some woods nearby. I plan to call a cheery hi to everyone and even smile at them too. No matter what they say to me.

Oh this thread is so full of random weird loveliness .

From stds to cock socks to soldiers to support to dogging to ranting to hexing and then all over again.

The randomness is what keeps it normal I guess.. or possibly the alcohol.

Hexing? Fantastic. Not into complicated rituals though.