Cats , Flaps and The Clap

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

The other thread is filling up fast so setting up the foundation for our new evil lair. One where we follow real guidelines, not made up ones, make sock cocks ,ruin hair and bemoan the shortage of Spanish soldiers.

This is where we'll keep each other sane or descend into madness together... depends on the day.

Update from the doggos! I really think the older one is starting to get depressed, she isnt herself. It's not the walks. She spends a lot of time at my best friends and I think she is missing them.

I’m thinking of painting a red line right in front of the front door and labelling the inside bit “clean” and outside bit “dirty”. Anyone wanting to cross will have to strip off, have a wash down with bleach and then they can cross the line and dress in clean clothes.

That should work, right?

Will you take my confession?

I’m avoiding large supermarkets, I can’t be doing with queues and nonsense. This means I go to small local shops, so although I was only out once, technically speaking, I went to four different shops. Including our wonderful local chocolate shop which is open for only an hour a week now.

And the bakery, which had sold out of bread so I was forced (forced) to buy croissants. Frozen ones, so I can have a fresh croissant gruel in the morning.

And I’ll be out again tomorrow to the feed store for hay.

I’ll go quietly when the police arrive.

To be fair, my dad is one that strips down. In the garage where the washing machine is. Then straight in the shower. They are really funny about him coming home from work. He changes at work, out of his uniform. Then out of the clothes he has come out of work and travelled in.

But he is NHS and mum is shielding. She will certainly not survive if she gets it. They keep away from eachother in the house. I would have her here, but theres just no room.

Wasnt aware anyone who goes out or all key workers need to do this or they are murderers and super spreaders though.

They are actually quite laid back about it. But it's the one thing they are worried about.

Nah, I just want to see the look on the boiler repair man’s face when I insist that he follows the roolz. I’m sure he was a Spanish soldier before venturing into the exciting world of domestic appliances.

So - what I've learnt is:
I need to crap for Boris - other wise it's my fault if he dies. No longer allowed to question any of his decisions that has made this as bad as it is.
I need to bleach ponies, sheep, dogs and chickens
And children?
Do I also need to confess my sins?
Dog is taking over my neighbourhood watch shift - no curtains to twitch

@Shitsgettingcrazy my doggo isn't happy either!

He's used to having the house to himself all day and having his best mate over (aka dog walking lady) he's really out of sorts miffed that he now has to actually share his house with the humans who pay for it

morning all. Sadly didnt read the "keep your murdering cats inside" thread till too late and our boy has already pissed off on his daily jaunt out across the fields behind our house. Obviously I will hold myself totally resposibly for the massive soaring numbers of cases in our area tonight
I' now on A/L until next Thursday and I am soooo glad. Im s, so tired and fed up!
Anyway...going to embrace a bit of the dark side and do the Joe wicks PE with ds 2 in a minute. Also going to run on the treadmil today so I can use my daily excercise to take dc and dogs out on a long walk.
I have orered some gin and wine from amazon prime now though .... and I defintiely have not been stripping and burning my clothes when returning from work

I have also violated the "keep the murderous cats inside" directive this morning as have only just read it... should I expect gangs of villagers with pitchforks? Will the pitchforks have been bleached? Do I have to bleach cat flaps as well as the flaps I've neglected to bleach for the postie..? I

Cats have to stay in? Well I'll leave that to someone else to tell mine. It wont be pretty. Hes already grumpy at not regularly being fed at 4am. In fact I've just come down and fed him now to stop him headbutting me in bed. Otherwise I'd still be in bloody bed.
Might do the red line and undressing to DP when he gets home. Could lead to interesting times!
Next doors dog keeps barking, this sends one of mine on to my knee where she doesn't fit in case next doors dog is shouted at to shut up. Not sure if she thinks she's being told off or is upset that next door is being told off.
Today I might cut my own hair unless I find pretty bobbles.
Oh I might also have to make yet another totally unnecessary trip to the local shop for more chocolate and or chocolate cake.

I thought you were supposed to incinerate the kids once you walk through the door. Damn. I keep getting it wrong.

RosesandIris
Its on You tube. Not great quality video but its good enough.

Reporting in from France. Last night I followed the UK rules and went for my compulsory exercise. I chose to start running as I haven't run for over 3 years and running is now obligatory it seems.
Sadly I broke the French rules and went to 2k away from my apartment. I shall report myself today to the Gendarmes. During the walk session of my run, I discovered three elderly people, drinking inside a corpse and clearly not giving a fuck that they could infect me on my exercise. They also had a small dog, which being a terrier type, ran out from under the trees and barked at me. I shall report him too as he was not being exercised and was clearly breaking the rules.
We got back at just before 8 - so slightly less than an hour, which could be breaking the rules of somewhere. Put the meatballs in to cook and got into the shower.
Therefore I was not available to clap/cheer/DJ & play shit music. I will be reported for breaking that rule I am sure.

• copse

I'm even worse , I knew about the murdering cats but still let mine out. He was already halfway through trashing the bedroom because I didn't hear him to begin with.

Cats still on the loose...have set up litter trays in garage ( connected to house) and found some cardboard boxes ( unintentionally quarantined as had been stored in garage since Christmas!) to put around house for them to play in... black one won't mind a bit as she barely ventures outside but floofy one will be demented ( he was rehomed to us because he wasn't coping with indoor life in a flat)... might give girls a rota to play with him... of course, first I'll have to get him back in the house....

Mine knocked over the wash basket and started knocking things off the desk because I wasn't fast enough getting up at 5am. He has other tricks too in his bag, mostly involving throwing himself at something.

Fucks sake I've just read about cats being inside. It's not gonna work in this weather. I've got doors open so dogs can wander in and out and bark at people at will. The cat would destroy my house if I kept him in. So far hes used three lives and despite cone of shame and vigorous door shutting routine, he escaped every single time.
Anyway he sleeps on a neighbours shed roof most of the time. I'm leaving him to it. Screw the BBC for reporting this as "news"

its ok all....seems the keeping cats in thing was misquoted and not true....(not that I was intending to anyway!)

I'm fortunate in that way. DTwatCat #1 is proprioceptivally disabled and can't sit on the floor without falling off it regularly and DTwatCat #2, being possessed of the fluffiest toes in the world, has no means by which to climb without sliding back down - think of a mountaineer attempting an ice covered K2 with bowling shoes over their crampons, so neither is capable of leaving the back garden, thanks to the ten foot wall that encases the house. So the most interaction they have with other people is from the windowsill (which DTwatCat #1 falls off at regular intervals anyhow).

To be honest, I think the veterinary advice to keep cats in (that I read on the BBC website this morning) is secretly largely for their own safety from nutters.

Just waiting for ANOTHER NON ESSENTIAL DELIVERY now. 80l of wool compost. I'm sure any neighbours that see will be horrified - well, except for next door, whom I spotted bringing in three tiny bags of peat based compost from a shopping trip yesterday morning. (Yes, yes, I do judge her for using peat, which is completely non-essential and literally harming the environment). But then again, she has fake turf that looks like crap in her back garden, so at least she's having some engagement with real, living things.

three elderly people, drinking inside a corpse and clearly not giving a fuck that they could infect me - thought you'd accidentally come across some dodgy cult, or that they'd read somewhere on FB that this would protect them from the big floating red ball thingies.

The worry is people freaking out and abandoning their pets.

This made me laugh tho. MN in a nutshell right now.

I finally had some mail today... fucking torches. Really?!? Out of all the stuff I ordered that's the first thing to arrive in a week?

Oooh, never heard of wool compost - just googled it and think I should make children make some as part of their craft sessions.....

@MitziK that's my concern too, and reason I'll be keeping them in... it wouldn't be much of a stretch for misinformed local lockdown stasi to take things into their own hands and start up anti-cat vigilantism...