Cats , Flaps and The Clap

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

The other thread is filling up fast so setting up the foundation for our new evil lair. One where we follow real guidelines, not made up ones, make sock cocks ,ruin hair and bemoan the shortage of Spanish soldiers.

This is where we'll keep each other sane or descend into madness together... depends on the day.

@dancelikeemmagoldman I’ve already been crucified once on her, surely as it’s Easter I can be resurrected :)

here...I hate my spelling mistakes as much as I hate myself for correcting them!

Here’s my question. Who else comes back to life after three days?

Vampires, that’s who. It makes Easter very questionable when you think about it like that.

Wait..Jesus..vampire..water into wine...was is blood??? Shit a whole new meaning to blood of the Christ in church! (apologies for any religions I’ve just offended)

Out of all the Jesus conspiracies the vampire one isn't even that far fetched. Was he a glittery vampire or a broody one , I wonder?

Morning all.
Interesting Jesus V Vampire debate!
In other news I can confrim the easter Bunny has visited our house - we have much non essential chocolate.
We have genuinely run out of bread (must have messed up the shopping on Friday focusing too much on wine and chocolate!) will have to wiat till tomorrow now - who needs bread when you have cholcate anyway!
We will be cooking a nice roast dinner today as well - shoot me now!
Normally my sister and her family and my Mum and dad come for Eater so that is a bit sad. Going to try and get my Dad to embrace technology to do a group video call later.
Just had a quick browse at the topic outside of this thread and it is still generally batshit crazy!

I hope everyone has a Hoppy Easter and get some unnecessary and not essential fun . 🐰

My GP know the rules but she also lived through a world war so doesn't really agree with overzealous neighbours telling her she shouldn't be in her garden or some relatives telling her off for getting he hearing aid fixed. In her words "it's pretty essential for me to hear seeing as I won't be seeing anyone for 12 weeks" 😂 she is a legend. The only good thing to come out of this so far is that she is now on social media and watching her comment on things is adorable.

On a serious note my neighbour does have dementia and every morning we hear another neighbour telling her she can't be outside and there is a virus and he's trying to keep her safe. 💔

I'm pretty sure we've sinned again. We had steak and dauphinoise potatoes for dinner (using said inessential cream) and it was delicious. I also enjoyed a glass of my unnecessary wine. This morning we had croissants.

Everyone is still asleep here so it'll be a while until I'm sinning with an Easter egg hunt.

I have just put my veg box parsnips in the compost bin they have been withering since Monday afternoon.. I can't tell anyone else and you can bet your last fusilli that there'll be even more in tomorrow's box

@winewellies we had to throw away some broccoli yesterday. The day before it was fine and then poof! It was gone yesterday. I did actually feel quite bad.

I confess I threw half a cabbage away yesterday. It was grey rather than green. DH was very disapproving and said a decent housewife would have bleached it to improve the appearance and then made a nice soup by adding a couple of mouldy potatoes For penance, I spent the evening drinking lager instead of wine. I have commited further sins this morning by taking non-essential paracetamol and eating half of my Easter egg. I now feel slightly sick so am clearly being punished.

Hope you all have a lovely day

Happy Easter fellow murders.

Just back from work did 2hrs but no need for me to be there at 7.
Realised too late that i have nothing decent for Sunday dinner! Oh well will have it another day.

I love a vampire (as my book shelves can attest to) not the glittery kind wtf is that all about?

Food waste!!! Mouldy veg soup, give it a posh name, bung on some artisan bread croutons and a swirl of cream and sell it for £10 a pop. Feeding the neighbours, not wasting food and earning at the same time = win win.

P.S. Throwing parsnips away isnt waste its common sense they are the devils own food. Yeuk!

Wow your gran sounds awesome😀

Happy Easter everyone.

I feel the need to order an unnecessary cat from Amazon.
Am feeling very smug - last night we had dinner in the garden (so we wiped out most of the cul de sac of the witch hunters as they all had embolisms at our discusting disregard for human life). As it started to get nippy, we decided to fire up the chiminea. Discovering we had no firewood, DC1 came up with the brilliant, facebook worthy idea of chopping up the broken bed slats which have lived in the garage for a year. So they set about it with an axe, under strict instructions not to chop off a finger as that would mean overwhelming the NHS and killing frontline staff.

We ended up having a roaring fire, no casualties within the household, and have now personally saved the NHS for another day by not having to go to A&E.
I am expecting an honourable mention in this afternoon's daily briefing on the BBC.

Morning Happy chocolate day easter!

I am hung over......again...

And have a family lunch via video call later! First easter I havent seen my mum, ever.

Irish catholic here, its bit of a big deal to mum. But then she would have approved of my thrusday drinking. Or the drinking last night! It should have been a weekend of mourning!

Hope you all have a good day

I feel I should confess my sins in advance this morning.

My dad has been in hospital with Covid for 8 days so today I shall be driving to his house (10 minutes), to do a deep clean, get rid of any food in danger of causing a health hazard, change his beds, open windows and air the place out.

This is my PMA that it'll be nice for him to "come home to" (he's still on a ventilator though so no idea when this will be).

I reckon it's essential, the MN Stasi would probably have me hung drawn and quartered though

I don't have any cream to bung in my mouldy veg soup. This means I am a good and virtuous person who has not been buying non-essentials. (Ignores wine stash, chocolates, Jaffa cakes and other treats.) I can't go and buy artisan bread for croutons because it might kill people - could I use sour cream Pringles instead?

frangipani - hope your dad gets better soon and gets to come home. One question though - what are you changing his beds to? I think hammocks would be a nice touch. It shows you're thinking outside the box.

FrangipaniBlue
Sorry to hear your dad is poorly. Hope he is home soon to appreciate his shiney clean house.

Sour cream pringkes make anything taste better. Go for it.

@FrangipaniBlue sorry to hear about your dad. You shine and clean away. Will keep everything crossed for you and him. I can even cross my tits now,which hopefully means extra good luck.

Everyone else... enjoy yourselves but no too much, gotta remember the optics.

We had a very murderous Easter Egg hunt. DD's little balcony crew joined in with pointing where the eggs were (little snitches watched me when hiding) and cheering her own. As a reward I went round and gave them some of the haul. They're all out now chattering and getting chocolate smeared faces.

Morning everyone. I had a sort of fit of activity this morning so I’m about to put a nicely spatchcocked chicken into the oven (so obviously that will feed DS and I for the rest of the week)

But I’ve also just washed and Henna’d my hair and then given myself a haircut with surprisingly not awful results.

Apparently I am due yet another public stoning from my nieces later today but also some other gifts which my sister described as ‘delightful’ so I expect they are of the cackhanded home made sort ☺️