Cats , Flaps and The Clap

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

The other thread is filling up fast so setting up the foundation for our new evil lair. One where we follow real guidelines, not made up ones, make sock cocks ,ruin hair and bemoan the shortage of Spanish soldiers.

This is where we'll keep each other sane or descend into madness together... depends on the day.

He didn’t even ask if I had clap. What sort of policing was that?

cherrie I hope you took note of his name and number to report him to his superior. It is eaxctly this lax sort of atitude that is COSTING LIVES don't you know.

How rude Ilovecherties he didnt even take down your particulars!

I havent got the clap tonight either and apparently no-one on the street has. We are much too refiiiined round here😉

Shits and this

https://www.masterofmalt.com/tasting-set/drinks-by-the-dram/vodka-tasting-set/?utmcontent=drinks-by-the-dram/vodka-tasting-set&currencyCode=GBP&utmmsource=database&utmmedium=base&utmmcampaign=mombasee1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwybD0BRDyARIsACyS8mst4DAwvBrRx0AALtead0cWec9ZXSt2ZElhHjtEClZVhgqL94omgT0aAkcREALwwcB

no clap for Boris round here tonight either. Although they were quite keen to give us NHS the clap last Thursday when I was trying to sleep!

cherries before you sit too comfortably.. do you have the clap?

My poor Da got screeched at by a curtain twitcher and her husband while walking his little dog today..500 meters from his house and nowhere near anybody. He was quite upset for a big burly ex policeman who's actually obeying the roolz quietly and without shaming any other poor bugger.

If he didn't live so far away I'd be risking lots of lives at the moment

Oh dont mention "BeKind" ! Was on a thread a while ago where myself and a dozen people were pointing out why someone was being a bloody idiot/busybody/bitch. And i was really quite restrained compared to others. Cue some pratt telling me to "BeKind" with a patronising load of insults about me to boot! Didnt say a cheep to all the other sweary people who were calling op all sorts! I did ask her if she thought "idiot" was terrible language to use why wasnt she yelling at those who called the poster a "fuckwit" "fing this and that?? She just replied with more insults and never attacked anyone else. What a coward, "BeKind" my bum!

https://www.notonthehighstreet.com/lottieshaws/product/thinking-of-you-baked-treat-box?DGMKT=FIDTIDDpla-342413099491PIDD930710CRII342413099491&gclid=Cj0KCQjwybD0BRDyARIsACyS8msNb2-qxWT2VZZiVUKAtnbEOob5QJITiNyIh7Ag7ONB1C7FgM6EnfEaAvSYEALwwcB

Oh I loathe the #bekind crap. Not because I believe in being an arsehole, but because its so bloody fake and insincere.

Oh and i risked life and reputation by buying hot cross buns too! I am doomed. Its all you lots fault leading me into temptation.😭😭😭

Every time someone buys a hot cross bun, you decrease the average life expectancy of a UK citizen. Think about that whilst you eat it, toasted, and dripping with butter.

Here is my cat. 😊 Today I dared to eat a Mars bar and DH went out to cut the grass. In daylight! 😲

(He shouldn't even be here as he works away from home and was caught by the lockdown in a different city.
He self isolated for 2 weeks then came home. So shoot us!)

I'm a dick and I know it and I'll openly admit it.

I remember the backlash when anyone dared to question how genuine and heartfelt all those be kind threads were. Just the other side of the covidiots now, excepr that "kind" was trendy then and now it's "stasi corona". Fucking bunch of bandwaggoners.

Just spoke to my boyfriend (who I have been separated from since this and we are far too old for boyfriend) and he stroked a cat today and bleached himself down accordingly.

Smilethoyourheartisbreaking

I'm not even sorry
(Wonders what out personal death toll is.)

I don't clap either.

Isabelle
I will remember that tomorrow. while selfishly i stuff my face
Cant have them tonight cos i realised that i forgot to take my tablet this morning so need to be dairy free till midnight!

I bought not one but 2 packets of hot cross buns the other week. Not only that, I ALSO took my kids to supermarket. Never again. The little brats gave not one but both packets to a homeless person on the way home before i could stop them. Thus
a. Infecting them with the pestilence that is invisibly but no doubt potently crawling all over them and the cellophane covering said buns
b. Depriving us of teatime treats

The fact we had effectivly self isolated (for no good reason other than sheer laziness on my part) is an irrelevant detail.

Where have i gone wrong? Please pray for our souls.

Hello Covid my old friend
We'll isolate until the end
Social distancing and handwashing
Psycho neighbours, rocks a-brandishing
Mumsnet posters are so miserable they won't even shop for food, cos they're so good
That's Corona virus.

Well you need to simultaneously hug your kids for being lovely while beating them with a switch for being such irresponsible brats.
Thats the only way to desl with such a mixed up child.
HTH.

Oh no isabelle you caught the arty bug.

Well done!

Oh heck now i am forced to listen to The Disturbed and get the shivers.
Oh well if i must...

Is that 'sendshit.com' site for real? I am definately sending one on a weekly basis to my ex mother in law. She will know its from me. So much the better. Definitely an essential.

Yep, there are various ones, with shit or glitter. But I like the UK one,support the local economy you know?

Speaking of which...

@Shitsgettingcrazy there are pills you can buy to make your shit glittery!!!!