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So confused re FIL - handhold please?

233 replies

EchoLocation · 28/03/2020 16:24

Sorry this is long...

Ten days ago my FIL (75, lives alone 50 miles away from us, very active and healthy) came down with coronavirus symptoms. He didn't call DH until day 4 and we encouraged him to call 111; by then he wasn't eating and did not sound good.
A doctor came out early on day 5 and prescribed antibiotics for a chest infection. FIL thought he had also tested for COVID-19.
Day 6 he felt a bit better and ate something.
Day 7 he felt awful again and didn't get out of bed. We called 111 but there was a mix up and we were promised a call back which never happened. At this point we were waiting for the COVID test to be negative so DH could go and look after him - we then found out FIL had been confused about this and he hadn't been tested after all.
Day 8 he seemed confused, didn't know what day of the week it was or what was going on. My DH called 111 who sent an ambulance and he was taken in.
We eventually got though to A&E who told us he was being admitted but couldn't give us any details but said he "probably has coronavirus".
Day 9 we managed to speak to FIL on his mobile and he seemed ok. A nurse on the ward said they were still waiting for results of tests, inc for COVID-19. From what I gather, he is on a general geriatic ward so this is worrying itself.

Anyway today, day 10, DH called the ward. The results are still not back but the nurse has said FIL has spiked another fever, he has fluid on his lungs and basically we need to prepare ourselves for the worst. She even said he has signed to say he doesn't want respiratory support if it's required.
The really confusing part is DH then spoke to FIL on the phone and he sounded ok-ish?? He said he's got no trouble breathing, just feels weak and shaky, he was grumpy about his uncomfortable hospital bed and kept saying he couldn't wait to get home. He certainly does not sound like he's a death's door, but then we are not medically trained. Do people tend to go down hill very quickly in these circumstances?
We are really aware of how much pressure the staff at the hospital must be at the moment so don't want to keep ringing but we are just so confused and don't feel like we have any answers. It is SO hard not being able to go to him. We just don't know what to do with ourselves, we keep swinging between feeling like it can't be that bad and fearing the worst.
Has anyone been through similar? Any advice?
Sorry if this is garbled, I can't think straight atm.

OP posts:
Toothsil · 01/04/2020 20:32

I can't stop thinking about you and your family, this is just so awful Flowers

IHateCoronavirus · 01/04/2020 20:55

Thinking of you all, your Fil and all families going through this. Flowers hoping he pulls through and sees you in the summer to help fix your fence surrounded by love.

BanginChoons · 01/04/2020 21:31

I am so sorry your family is going through this. Sending you strength and love.

EchoLocation · 02/04/2020 13:35

My FIL died peacefully this morning with a lovely nurse by his side.

We can't believe he's really gone.

Thank you for all your thoughts, prayers and kind words, you have kept me going these past few days Flowers

OP posts:
Eeeeek2 · 02/04/2020 13:37

So sorry for your loss

ladygracie · 02/04/2020 13:39

I’m so sorry for your loss.

EchoLocation · 02/04/2020 13:39

I'm not sure that I will come back now, but may I share his favourite poem with you before I go? He read this at our wedding...

May you always have an angel by your side
Watching out for you in all the things you do
Reminding you to keep believing in brighter days
Finding ways for your wishes and dreams to come true
Giving you hope that is as certain as the sun
Giving you the strength of serenity as your guide
May you always have love and comfort and courage
And may you always have an angel by your side
Someone there to catch you if you fall
Encouraging your dreams
Inspiring your happiness
Holding your hand and helping you through it all
In all of our days, our lives are always changing
Tears come along as well as smiles
Along the roads you travel, may the miles be a thousand times more lovely than lonely
May they give you gifts that never, ever end: someone wonderful to love and a dear friend in whom you can confide
May you have rainbows after every storm
May you have hopes to keep you warm
And may you always have an angel by your side

OP posts:
Balloonsandbunting · 02/04/2020 13:45

That’s a lovely poem. Wishing you and your family much strength.

Gillian1980 · 02/04/2020 13:49

I’m so very sorry for your loss.
Love to you and your family xxx

EssentialGarage · 02/04/2020 13:58

I am also so sorry, that is a beautiful poem.

Mummyshark2018 · 02/04/2020 14:02

So sorry for your loss 💐

I've read through your full thread and it really hit home the cruelty of this virus where families can't be next to their loved ones on their last days.

ThePluckOfTheCoward · 02/04/2020 14:04

Op, I'm so very, very sorry for your loss. You and your DH must be in bits.

Mittens030869 · 02/04/2020 14:12

I'm so sorry for your loss, OP ThanksThanks

GreenPlum · 02/04/2020 14:15

I'm so very sorry Thanks

Lougle · 02/04/2020 14:17

I'm so sorry Flowers

bleepbleepbla · 02/04/2020 14:34

I'm so very sorry for your loss 💐

LuciLuci · 02/04/2020 14:35

OP I’m so sorry, I really don’t know what to say. Thank you for sharing the beautiful poem. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family 💖

Teana89 · 02/04/2020 14:48

I'm so very sorry Echo.

Vikingmama79 · 02/04/2020 14:54

Haven't posted on here for a very long time but was so touched by your post. Really sorry you and your family have had to go through this. Relieved to hear your father in law wasn't alone in his final moments. So sorry for your loss.Daffodil

Notwiththeseknees · 02/04/2020 14:55

I am so very sorry. Your story has really touched me and brought home how important these victims are and they are not just marks on paper.

Hold on to your lovely memories of him x

ThelmaDinkley · 02/04/2020 14:57

So sorry for your loss Flowersxx

Sugarfreejelly · 02/04/2020 14:58

I am so sorry. It’s a beautiful poem and I hope it provides some comfort at this time.

HT96 · 02/04/2020 14:59

So sorry op! I am glad you all got one final face call with him 💔 the world is so cruel right now, sending hugs xxx

Torvi · 02/04/2020 15:01

I'm so sorry Echo Thanks

Thank you for sharing the beautiful poem

VenetoResident · 02/04/2020 15:08

I'm so sorry x

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