Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

So confused re FIL - handhold please?

233 replies

EchoLocation · 28/03/2020 16:24

Sorry this is long...

Ten days ago my FIL (75, lives alone 50 miles away from us, very active and healthy) came down with coronavirus symptoms. He didn't call DH until day 4 and we encouraged him to call 111; by then he wasn't eating and did not sound good.
A doctor came out early on day 5 and prescribed antibiotics for a chest infection. FIL thought he had also tested for COVID-19.
Day 6 he felt a bit better and ate something.
Day 7 he felt awful again and didn't get out of bed. We called 111 but there was a mix up and we were promised a call back which never happened. At this point we were waiting for the COVID test to be negative so DH could go and look after him - we then found out FIL had been confused about this and he hadn't been tested after all.
Day 8 he seemed confused, didn't know what day of the week it was or what was going on. My DH called 111 who sent an ambulance and he was taken in.
We eventually got though to A&E who told us he was being admitted but couldn't give us any details but said he "probably has coronavirus".
Day 9 we managed to speak to FIL on his mobile and he seemed ok. A nurse on the ward said they were still waiting for results of tests, inc for COVID-19. From what I gather, he is on a general geriatic ward so this is worrying itself.

Anyway today, day 10, DH called the ward. The results are still not back but the nurse has said FIL has spiked another fever, he has fluid on his lungs and basically we need to prepare ourselves for the worst. She even said he has signed to say he doesn't want respiratory support if it's required.
The really confusing part is DH then spoke to FIL on the phone and he sounded ok-ish?? He said he's got no trouble breathing, just feels weak and shaky, he was grumpy about his uncomfortable hospital bed and kept saying he couldn't wait to get home. He certainly does not sound like he's a death's door, but then we are not medically trained. Do people tend to go down hill very quickly in these circumstances?
We are really aware of how much pressure the staff at the hospital must be at the moment so don't want to keep ringing but we are just so confused and don't feel like we have any answers. It is SO hard not being able to go to him. We just don't know what to do with ourselves, we keep swinging between feeling like it can't be that bad and fearing the worst.
Has anyone been through similar? Any advice?
Sorry if this is garbled, I can't think straight atm.

OP posts:
SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 02/04/2020 15:25

I’m very sorry Echo. I’m glad you were able to phone him and that someone was with him at the end.

coachman · 02/04/2020 15:26

I'm so sorry. This must be so hard for you and your DH. My condolences and my thoughts are with you.

LittleCabbage · 02/04/2020 16:01

I am so very sorry. Your FIL sounded lovely, and much-loved. I am so glad you got that final phone call, and that a nurse was with him when he died.

His favourite poem is beautiful.

FatimaLovesBread · 02/04/2020 16:04

Sending lots of love OP. I woke up this morning wondering how your FIL was.

Icanflyhigh · 02/04/2020 16:22

So sorry :-(

Inkpaperstars · 02/04/2020 16:28

I am deeply sorry for your loss Echo. FIL sounds so lovely, and it seems like he would have wanted you all to feel as much peace as possible as time goes by.

What an utter tragedy this virus is. I'm so sorry xx

Rowgtfc72 · 02/04/2020 16:52

Sorry for your loss. Your FIL sounds a lovely man and such a poignant poem.
Look after yourselves x

Nicecupofcoco · 02/04/2020 17:13

Truly sorry for your loss op! Thinking of you, and everybody that has lost a family member to this cruel disease! Flowers

Roostersmum2 · 02/04/2020 17:18

I'm truly saddened to hear this update. I'm so sorry for your loss Echo, as others have said, your FIL sounds like a wonderful person and its clear how much you love him.

Sending love to you all Flowers

Desertislanddreamer · 02/04/2020 18:35

I’m so sorry Echo, you have been in my thoughts the past couple of days.
Thank you for sharing the poem, it’s beautiful.
Sending love you all Flowers

kauri25 · 02/04/2020 19:13

I’m so sorry to hear you have lost your father in law Echo Flowers You all remain in my prayers. Thank you for posting FIL’s favourite poem - that it is a beautiful gift he has left with you. x

ItsJustASimpleLine · 02/04/2020 19:21

So sorry for you loss Flowers

SamSeabornforPresident · 02/04/2020 19:25

I'm so sorry. Another one who's been rooting for him.

madmumofteens · 02/04/2020 19:51

I am so very sorry OP what a lovely poem 😞 xx

Notonthestairs · 02/04/2020 20:13

I'm so very sorry Op. what a beautiful poem. Thanks

GinisLife · 02/04/2020 20:24

I really hoped I'd get to the end of this thread to read he'd perked up and come out the other side of it. I'm so sorry to read that he didn't make it. Sending hugs xx

whitedogpoo · 02/04/2020 20:27

I’m so sorry Flowers

2ndAugust · 02/04/2020 21:35

So very sorry for your loss, I was holding my breath reading this thread hoping for a better outcome. He sounds like a lovely man who was greatly loved by you all.

Brenna24 · 02/04/2020 21:47

I am sorry for your loss. O am very glad that you got to speak to him and that he had company at the end. He sounded like a lovely man.

JoyceByersWasRight · 02/04/2020 21:57

Dear Echo, I am so sorry for your loss. I've just found this thread and wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I am going through the exact same with my dad right now. After an agonising week of him being up and down with CV19, we had a call earlier today to say that he does not have long. We managed to speak to him on the phone, but no idea if he heard us. It is utterly, utterly heartbreaking. I am waiting for a phone call to tell me when he has passed. The palliative care nurse has assured me that he is not in pain and is comfortable and that he has someone by his bedside at all times. All I can do now I see pray. I will keep you and your DH in my prayers tonight also.

Fourmagpies · 02/04/2020 22:10

Flowers for Echo and for you JoyceByersWasRight

JoyceByersWasRight · 02/04/2020 22:13

Thank you Fourmagpies.

wildcherries · 02/04/2020 22:38

So sorry for your losses Echo and JoyceByersWasRight

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 02/04/2020 23:00

I'm so very sorry for your loss, Echo.

That's a beautiful poem. Flowers

Ilovemypantry · 02/04/2020 23:49

I am sitting in bed with tears streaming down my face when I read that your dear FIL had passed away. You must all be absolutely heartbroken, especially as you couldn’t be with him at the end.
This virus is so cruel in every way.

My thoughts and prayers are with you too, JoyceByersWasRight 💔💐