30s TTC: Club BESHicana, drinks are free and we're hungry like the WOOFL! The MSDP continues...

[Scorpette]

Come on in, collect the Grolsch bottle tops for your DM shoes at the door

We're going all-out 80s for the continuation of the Mass Summer Diffment Project: John Hughes films playing back-to-back and on BESH FM, DJ ChoCho will be playing our all-time 80s faves, from New Romantics to Synth to Goth to Hair Metal to Pop and back again (no Fields of The Nephilim, mind). Our bartenders and waiters are Ducky from Pretty in Pink, Ralph Macchio (the Karate Kid) and Corey Haim (back from the dead especially for us) and unlike most of the real 80s, we actually get to booze!

Here's hoping the authentic 80s vibe will trick our bodies into thinking we've got the ovaries of teenagers!

(Not to mention tricking them into being super skinny and able to eat whatever we want and staying that way!)

There's plenty of Babycham and Ice Magic to pour over ice-cream in the Pit and Metal Mickey will bring them to the wretched at the click of a finger.

So whaddya waiting for? Slip on the ra-ra skirts, slap on the blue eyeliner and let's get winning those baybeez! Last one in the pool's a psycho hose beast!

StinkyWick, ThinLikeAnArial is a skinny moo, innit. But YOU must be a skinny moo too Ms StinksYetPopular. You are a cheerleader, aren't ya?

Joking aside, don't worry Stinker, we all know the 30's deal. Really, how come there are no BESHes that pull a quickie? I think there was just one I remember who joined, got up the duff the same month and went onto the PESH thread. Who was that, remind me? Do you think bitter twisted-ness is bad for spawn?

I am similar to you. Started just turned 32, am 33 now. There were some breaks in between. But somehow I always thought we would take a while. Dunno why.

Pah, try being 37 (like me) or 38 like a few other BESHes and then try talking to me about panicking

Nah, I know it's a nightmare, whatever your age

ArielTheLittleMermaid is a skinny ninny who needs to put weight on. Obviously, the rest of us don't hate her at all*

And yep, Stinkhound, the ILs have never visited out home or met my family. It just doesn't seem to occur to them, as opposed to actual nastiness. I think if we were married they'd be different as they are super-trad, but fuck 'em.

DPO6 and am not menkulling yet. Behold the power of MumRa!

*Love ya really

Yes, but YOU have got a young fella and an immaculate womb. (I am hoping it is up in a frame by now? Can you bring a copy so we can put it up on the Palais wall?) . Noone should panic. All the BESHes shall win! 'Tis the truth.

IL's much like me MIL. Like I said once upon the time, I thought twas the englishness, but I am obv. guilty of a stereotype. You don't want to get married? Not that I care, just wonder if it's a sort of thing you'd consider to make everyone happy? Sorry if prying. I figured this was anonymous.

We DO want to get married, but it's not super-high on our list of priorities. We don't have a lot of cash (my folks are retired and I wouldn't ask them for cash and his folks are v rich and wouldn't cough up a penny) and would rather use what money we do have (17p and a chewitt) for getting nec. stuff for a baybee when it comes along (soon, soon, I hope). TYF has Social Phobia and just the thought of getting all that attention at a wedding, even if we do it as small and low-key as poss, makes him sweaty and panicky (this is not a man's bullshit excuse for not making an honest woman of me, he really is that introverted).

We'll be together forever and the kids will have both surnames whether we're married or not, so when we do it, it'll just because the time and cashflow is right, not for any 'big' reason.

Off to work now - laters, ma bitches

Fair enough. If IF we ever spawn, we'll go for both surnames too.

Yo yo yo biatches. Sorry for my recent exile (you did miss me didn't you?). RL has got in the way of late, how bloody inconvenient. Also been crapping myself over future job hassles for TG, seeing as his employer will no longer exist in 2 years. Strangely, TG is taking it all in his stride (but still has meltdown about taking out bins, or emptying dishwasher etc ) and seems to think that the majority of PCT staff will find jobs within the new GP Consortium. Oh well , it is a long way off yet.

Oi you lot, don't be mean to AerieFaerie, she can't help being a skinny bint, no more than I can help being a greedy fatarse.

Scorps I iz well impressed at the lack of menkulling. How much longer will it last?

Salty and Twinks still keeping everything crossed for you both. Head how is the manky throat? Sounds dreadful, poor thing. Cass big squeezes for you.

Must go and read back and catch up with you all - welcome to newbies and returning BESHies, plz to make your acquaintance A poke in the eye and a bottle of gin for everyone.

Welcome stinky I like the cut of your gib.

I've just turned 38. On my birthday I found a white eyebrow hair. Still trying to convince myself it was sun-kissed. Couldn't face white pubes (not at supple as I used to be ) so had them waxed off.

I took my last pill when I was 34.* BAH!!!!!

*This prolly sounds slightly worse than it is. I stopped pill the month before 35th birthday & only turned 38 on Sunday. Actually, tis still shite.

Talking of shite, that's what teh secks life is like this month. SWI CD7 - what the fuck use is that? - & haven't done so since. Now on CD14, so haven't totally missed the ferry but........

muse hope you had a fab birthday & enjoyed your spa.

I have some actual work to do now - how bloody rude!

Slippery nipples & donuts all round, x

POLLY!!!! Seriously, was just wondering where the merry hell you were. Ooooo, perhaps I'm Psychic Bob? Think of people & they appear? Ooo, ooo, am thinking of BESH baybees.........

What? Worth a go. Tried everything else!

Blimey, the Palais is filling up with lovely innocent young(ish) flesh newbs. StinkyWinky I like the cut of your jib.

laurie grrr. Just grrr.

Am lurking and thinking of you all; just don't have all that much to say for myself at the mo.

HairyAriels My mate is very skinny and made matters worse by marathon training. He is currently eating an extra meal with each meal. Quick pasta bake with real dinner, for example. Also, you might want to look at protein shakes - although the only decent and nice one I found (ie not full of rubbish and odd sounding chemicals) is the Solgar Vanilla one.

Awright, Pollster?

Lozzer! Mmmm, slippery nipples... takes me back to a fab girlie holiday on a greek island. I haz been lurking but not much time to post lately, or in fact, much of interest to say for myself, but I just can't stay away from the palais.

Ooh hello Drom, I'm awright ta luvver, how are you? Feeling pukey?

Oh shit, is my jib showing again? (Pulls greying M&S sturdy pants out from in between bum cheeks). Glad you like the look of it though PerfickBumps and LorryPoo.

Are you seeing a consultant Lorry? What stage are you at? And what are you doing here talking to us when you should be legs akimbo and tapping a calender meaningfully and tutting at your bloke?

Glad the recent differs are feeling ok - bit pukey is just enough. That's rough with your bloke's employment Pollyplops.

Aries get thee States side if you want to gain some weight. The boyf & I were in some little restaurant somewhere during a drive around, both ordered a chicken dish, complete with veg & potatoes. Waiter came over & put 2 dishes of spaghetti bolognaise in front of us. Called waiter back to explain there had been a mix up with the order, to which he replied that was our side dish!!! WTF? I like my food but that was cur-razy.

Ah poll girlie hols. I once ended up dancing in a cage on a bar in a greek island after 1 too many Sex on the Beach cockails.

stinky yeah, kind of seeing a consultant for all the use he is Had all the usual shizzle shoved up fanjo & all apparently sqeaky clean & ship shape. The boyf's white goods went from lower end of normal to fab in 2 appointments (& he only ever delivered 1 goods ) So, not knowing what else to do he gave me 6 months of Clomid to make me "super-fertile" (not convinced this is a medical term but this is the term he used). Have taken 3 months worth & apart from ridiculous hot flushes, nadda. So I didn't bother taking it this month & have booked in for another appointment to ask questions. I'm guilty of being one of those who just accepts everything consultant says & heads off for fear of being a pain in the arse. Well, its time to be a pain in the arse. Also on the IUI & IVF waiting list as plans C & D. Think we're about 3 months into 9 - 12 month IUI waiting list.

Legs akimbo, tapping calendar, tutting & posting - multi-tasking, innit

Argh!! squeaky. And I previewed message. Arse!

Yo Lorry and get on with it! CD 14 is a totally respectable time to be having SWI. That's a long IUI waiting list, btw!

I am having weird twinges in my wombular area. And it's a bit early to go menkuling, 3 - 4 DPO. Pette is first in the line for that. Though I've been having weird twinges since ovulation (or when I thought it was)...

Howdie Perfection.

Greetings Beshies.

Am beyond scared about tomorrow. I thought I'd resigned myself to the inevitable, but turns out this is bollocks

Am feeling a bit twingy and gusset still not clear so i think I am basically fucked.

I just don't know how to cope when sonographer says it is all over.

Salty -It's bloody hard isn't it? I really feel for you. I am crossing everything that your BOC is alright but if it isn't, we'll all be here to comfort you if you need/want it. I am lighting my candle for you tonight! By the way, my gusset also not clear but heartbeat was there on Tuesday. I know that means nothing really but hope the same is true for you. What time is your scan tomorrow?

Going in to EPU at 8.30 so I will hopefully be near front of queue.

Thank you twinks - you're going through your own shit, so light a candle for yourself too! Fuck it, lets both light 3, justt to be on the safe side?

Will they think I'm weird if I insist on bringing 3 lit candles into the dildocam room??

keeping everything crossed for tomorrow, salty.

Hello lovely BESHes I think three lit candles are eminently suitable items to be taking into dildo-cam room.

Polly and Dromster, lovely to see you both. Mwah mwah. Thought you'd abandoned us Camel. Polster, that sounds a bit scary about TG's job, but I guess if he's taking it all in his stride....?

In other news SisterAriesBaby seems to be finally dislodging v...e...r...y slowly. Apparently still not in "established labour", so by that I take it to mean she's having twinges. This could take a while. And then it'll straight into SCBU and then theatre for the poor little mite

In other, other news, we are having a storm. A proper storm with immense sea, floods and flickering lights. It's fucking July! What's going on?

cass just wanted to say I'm thinking of you tomorrow.

salty thinking of you too.

twinks haven't forgotten you either! Lots of good thoughts to you all, xx

Sorry in haste, feverish day, but wanted to say to Salts I'll be thinking of you, with candles, tomorrow. XX

Bitchslaps with bells on to the rest o'yez.

Three candles being lit here, for cass, salty, twinks

Good luck tomorrow saltnshake

Thank you BESHies.

Will be in touch tomorrow.

Casstenets hugs for tomorrow.

Twinklystar keep your chin up