30s TTC: Club BESHicana, drinks are free and we're hungry like the WOOFL! The MSDP continues...

[Scorpette]

Come on in, collect the Grolsch bottle tops for your DM shoes at the door

We're going all-out 80s for the continuation of the Mass Summer Diffment Project: John Hughes films playing back-to-back and on BESH FM, DJ ChoCho will be playing our all-time 80s faves, from New Romantics to Synth to Goth to Hair Metal to Pop and back again (no Fields of The Nephilim, mind). Our bartenders and waiters are Ducky from Pretty in Pink, Ralph Macchio (the Karate Kid) and Corey Haim (back from the dead especially for us) and unlike most of the real 80s, we actually get to booze!

Here's hoping the authentic 80s vibe will trick our bodies into thinking we've got the ovaries of teenagers!

(Not to mention tricking them into being super skinny and able to eat whatever we want and staying that way!)

There's plenty of Babycham and Ice Magic to pour over ice-cream in the Pit and Metal Mickey will bring them to the wretched at the click of a finger.

So whaddya waiting for? Slip on the ra-ra skirts, slap on the blue eyeliner and let's get winning those baybeez! Last one in the pool's a psycho hose beast!

Three candles lit in cider country for Cass Salty and Twinks. Thinking of you all BESHies. A slap round the back of the head for everyone else. Oh yes, and these...

I am having mittelschmerz AND egginess MrA upstairs now! Though I'll just have one of those Twirls first....

Where is everybody? Scorps? Head, are you in a hospital for consumptives? Yoooooohooooooo?! Cass love, hope you're ok.

PS I love the word Mittelschmerz. It ranks up there with my favourite German words along with Durchfall and Schmetterling

Go away and shag Aries!

ok .

Stop wondering where we are and get shagging, you daft bint! Good luck BTW, how do you feel 'egginess'? I feel all sort of tight in the ladytum, full and excitable downstairs and fizzy-happy all over - do you mean summat like this? Or does an omelette fall out of your foofoo?

PS Had to explain to bossfriend what Schadenfreude was earlier - deliciously ironic as I then revelled in her feeling daft for not knowing it

PPS My fave German phrase is Sturm Und Drang. Knowing it really helped my dreadful teen Goth poetry

I've only just been capable of typing now as I've spent most of the night with TYF recovering from a stir-fry so vast that Mr Creosote would think twice about eating it. It was all veg so am lying to self it's tewtally diet-tastic. Hmmm, might need to become *Ariel's' personal chef!

PESHES! Pliz to remind me - if I'm getting my usual pre-menstrual hurty boobs, could I still possibly be pg? ie, can you get your usual symtoms but still have won? I'm sure I've asked this before but had to remove large portion of my brain to fit stir-fry into body.

Lastly, not not leastly, HUUUUUUUGE loves, hope, candles and pacing to Saltaire and others who will be getting answers tomorrow xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Go see to it Aries! I sedooced mah mayn last night despite his having come off a 12 hour night shift then spent the day at the cricket

Truly my sessual charms are unmatched. Erm actually I was so startled at having SFF I spent most of this morning making this face

Turns out it might have been SWI to, so I hereby hop aboard the MSDP bus charabanc.

Just debating whether attempt another jump, or to wait till tomorrow

Hurty boobs are a diffed symptom and a droid symptom Scorps, so you could be diffed. I don't think there are many early symptoms that don't work for both. Except the whole making a piss stick go positive one, and that's much less fun to menkul over.

Right, while you're all off shagging I am going to bed to sleep. Oh the excitement.

Chars, Muser, but I always get hurtyboobs at this stage in my cycle

This doesn't count as 2WOOFLing, okay

Especial thoughts and love and light and general goodness to Cass today.

The rest of you can indulge in this here triple-layered banana butterscotch cake with cream cheese icing, made with gluten free flour and cream cheese from dairy-free heifers made entirely of flavoursome soya

I've got to SWI tonight.

Question: does anyone else reach the SWI stage, or the 2WOOLF stage, and despite having spent the previous coupla weeks pining for a wriggling baybee burping gently on your shoulder suddenly get overcome by a desire to run off with someone unsuitable and live in Morocco growing really top-quality weed and not wearing shoes? No? Just me then

Aries was there Teh Secks?

Score, when you've removed your head from that cake, I would like a NorkWatch update pliz.

Crap, nearly had a major panic attack, couldn't find the Palais!! What are we doing so far down the list? Actually, tis not a healthy sign of my state of menkal, is it? I really became a bit breathless.

Plus, I have nowt to say!! Managed to SWI last night so Operation Shagathon continues.

Lets hope today is a quiet, peaceful & non-eventful day in the Palais. (Unless more news of diffs)

Scorps if you would like some seasoned logs to fuel the mentalness, I found my hurty boobs on the pregnant cycle were different, ie. hurty on the sides and by the armpit area instead of all over.

Good to see BangsLikeaShitHouseDoor and AriesTwirl keeping up the SWI for us all. Attagirls.

Lorry It was actually my 4th round of Clomid which worked (in conjunction with HCG trigger shot) so it may be worth persevering with it while waiting for other stuff to happen. Did you get any monitoring while on it to check your womb lining/follicle development? Obviously if it isn't helping you ovulate or is turning you stir crazy mentally then bin it.

As a newbie I won't presume to hug all those waiting for answers today in case if feels uncomfortable for you, so will instead hold out my hand for a firm handshake and a manly thump to the shoulder. It's totally rotten waiting for answers, I really feel for you.

Hoping you're back with good news soon Salty

Bangers I will fight you for that cake. In fact I'll take you all on - sounds delish! And I was already sitting here thinking how much I fancied a custard slice or Toffee Crisp.

Well, I can't say I want to live in Morocco & grow weed, but the feeling of wanting a talc scented baby gurgling away happily never seems to co-incide with SWI or 2WOOLF. SWI stage just sees me running around with head on fire, dribbling & eyeing up any male with a pulse with my best "take me now bad boy" look. 2WOOLF is just a Mexican stand off between brain & ovaries, without actually thinking of a baybee.

Is it bad that I want to kill someone in work, just for being a) a mum, b) 10 years younger than me c) 4 stone lighter than me?

Manly handshakes and thumps are much more de rigeur anyway. Tis only lately with all the nastiness that BESHes have started hugging and stuff

Had Teh Secs yes. Was quite nice actually . Not bad at all. When I said "egginess" Scorps, I meant of the pant snot variety. Though only little bits as I am a dried up spinster hag.

Calm down LozzaLoo, take deep breaths in and out...

HB remember my angst last month about MrA having a crush on someone beautiful and 22? Well I'm ashamed to report I now have an enormous crush on someone unsuitable and daydream about all sorts of absurd scenarios one at the moment involves him chucking me over his manly shoulder, running off and giving me a good seeing to, caveman style . So it's not just you no.

stinky I was scanned on first month of Clomid to check follicles, there were 2 potential lookings ones, but I was tested quite early on in month so they were still a bit small. All tests seemed to suggest I was ovulating anyway, so that doesn't seem to have been the problem. Think they just gave me Clomid as some wonder drug to shut me up.

What is this HCG trigger shot of which you speak?

Is DPO7 so too early for announcements of any sort, Lozenge. Am glad you've been a-ruding, as well as many others; this blimmin' place stinks of secks at the mo

HeadyLemar Ssssssh, eating cake Norks not too hurty. Menkul relatively low. Being fairly unhysterical about various twinges, etc. Feel like I'm in TTC gulag at mo. One year, one fucking year. I need a lie-down...

But before I start gibbering am sending out big loves to SaltyCassTwinks. Good luck and hugs to all

Yes, StinkyPooPoo, WHAT is this HCG trigger shot, and WHY has no-one offered me one (how rude).

Aries has a crush! I just hope Teh Secks you had was with MrA. Or perhaps it was "quite nice" because you were fantasising about said crush?

Although to be fair, I often fantasise about MrA .

Lozza, I want to kill numerous younger/thinner/yummy mummies in my workplace. I think I feel a film coming on - some sort of falling down/kill bill/baby boom combo?

Stinkbomb, my hurtynorks are always slighty different in their hurtiness every month. Just trying to fuck with ma bwain, they are

LOLcats, you are not alone in wanting to MUH-DUH(as Taggart would say) the young, thin and bechildrened. I'm nearing the stage in my cycle where I want to kill about 99% of the population (because everyone seems to have a baby except me), never mind lucky bints.

LysergicBliss, (please tell me someone else likes of Montreal ), your film idea is genius. I'd like it to feature real BESHes bringing out the nunchuks and whatnot

Off to work now - Fridays are traditional 'everyone comes in with their baby and wants me to hold them*' day, so wish me luck...

*The babies that is.

Lyra pleeeeeeease can I star in your Falling Down stylee film? I have had plenty of practise - of my best friends at work - one is on mat leave with number 2 (conceived first time again naturally) and the other one is exactly a month ahead of what I would have been which has been a delightful reminder of what I haven't got. They've both been diamond geezers about it all but still doesn't help with the daily rage.

Lorry and Lyra the HCG injection is given mid cycle to release any mature eggs that are brewing. You can do a pregnancy test right after if you like to fuck with your head as its the chemical the pregnancy tests react to. I also ovulated without clomid but it gives you a stronger ovulation apparently (whatever that means). Monitoring with dildocam is important whilst on clomid to make sure it's not thinning your womb lining (which can be rectified with oestrogen supplements) and to check not too many/no follicles are developing. It's such a simple test to get dilo cammed once or twice a month I don't understand why all FC's don't do it as routine.

Scorpette you can hold me if you want? Not a full body lift but just cup one of my buttcheeks if you fancy it.

Waiting on tenterhooks to hear some good news from Twinks/Salty. And Cass.

lyra thanks be that I'm not the only duffer person not to have heard of this HCG wonder shot.

Muchos secks around the Palais! Good work ladeez, good work.

aries do you go all coy & giggly around said crush? Please say yes, then I won't feel so bad about making a complete tit of myself every time our maintenance guy comes into the office

I love the film Falling Down. In fact we often liken working here to either Falling Down, or the poster for Platoon.

Glad I'm not the only MUH-DUHrous beyatch round here.

scorps I feel your pain delight in Baby Friday. I'm off to friends tonight who have 3 gorgeous kiddies - surely they wouldn't miss 1? This is the delayed-due-to-chicken pox party. But I can cope today as droid hasn't just arrived. Next weekend we're off to BIL & SIL's to meet the new nephew (they live abroad, hence delay) & their impossibly gorgeous toddler (the little fella who made me fall in love with baybees & ditch my beloved pills). Thankfully I'll still be at the 2WOOLF / blissful hope stage - if it was mid droid I may just melt in a pool of unhappiness.

I'm bored today. And cold. And hungry. I've already eaten my lunch in a bid to stay away from the chocolate box. Its still calling to me though. If its a charidee chocolate box, surely that has to be good, non?

Charity chocolate box? Virtually compulsory I would have thought.

Clearly charity chocolates are calorie free.

Fanks ladeez. Have just thoroughly enjoyed my calorie free RL Twirl AND contributed to charidee.

How good a person am I?