30s TTC: Club BESHicana, drinks are free and we're hungry like the WOOFL! The MSDP continues...

[Scorpette]

Come on in, collect the Grolsch bottle tops for your DM shoes at the door

We're going all-out 80s for the continuation of the Mass Summer Diffment Project: John Hughes films playing back-to-back and on BESH FM, DJ ChoCho will be playing our all-time 80s faves, from New Romantics to Synth to Goth to Hair Metal to Pop and back again (no Fields of The Nephilim, mind). Our bartenders and waiters are Ducky from Pretty in Pink, Ralph Macchio (the Karate Kid) and Corey Haim (back from the dead especially for us) and unlike most of the real 80s, we actually get to booze!

Here's hoping the authentic 80s vibe will trick our bodies into thinking we've got the ovaries of teenagers!

(Not to mention tricking them into being super skinny and able to eat whatever we want and staying that way!)

There's plenty of Babycham and Ice Magic to pour over ice-cream in the Pit and Metal Mickey will bring them to the wretched at the click of a finger.

So whaddya waiting for? Slip on the ra-ra skirts, slap on the blue eyeliner and let's get winning those baybeez! Last one in the pool's a psycho hose beast!

Oi Musttryharder you could stop to say hello!

Birthday cake? Yours? Is it in little paper napkins, in a party bag with a small plastic toy?

HAPPY BIRFDAY SeussicalTheMusical!

OOOOO CHEESECAKE ICING NOM NOM NOM

Oooo somebody likes me! Truth be told, I have been stalking you all for fucking ages but I was scared to butt in
a) in case I wasn't as funny as you all were
b) didn't want to piss off the oldies/regulars - I know it can be a bit uncomfortable when lots of newbies join an established thread - especially one as strong as yours and when you are discussing such personal stuff.
c) you ladies has been having a right old time of it lately so didn't want to be all new girl excited when you have horridness going on.

Anyway, I feel right at home already, and thanks for the snogs/cake/bondage. And no coaching sorry BumLyraBum, I don't know anyone in the PESH thread. I have been thinking of various things to say in my questionaire for a while, but actually I just made it all up in between meetings today, posted in and then felt a bit worried that you would all ignore me! Don't know why as I knew you were all lovely due to my extensive stalking.

Happy birthday Muser! I hope you are doing lovely things this evening.

Twinks great news on the new house - blimey TTC and moving house! It's a wonder you sound as calm as you do. Best of luck at your private scan. What stage are you at right now?

Mumra I am 34. Started all this malarkey when just turned 32. I'm sure I caught sight of a white pube the other day as well.

Stinks didn't mention me ...

Sings Marilyn Monroe stylie happy birthday to Muser and dives headfirst into cheesecake....

On the PhD front - yes it is exciting to have Dr on the old credit card, but I'm not sure it was worth dedicating my entire 20's to? It took me 8 years part-time to do it and completely took over my life (much like TTFC now does!). That said I do enjoy my job, and without the doctorate I wouldn't have got it. I never thought I would like lecturing after being spoilt in research jobs for a good while. However, I do really like the contact with the students and they make me laugh with their antics! I relive my university days through them . It's a very overwhelming thing to do and it really does consume your entire thought processes, but it is nice to do something different and hopefully do something groundbreaking.

Good luck with deciding!

Apologies SheGivesGoodHead, how rude of me. Would it make it up to you if I was your gimp for the rest of the evening? I'm also quite good at baking so could whip up a Victoria Sponge with clotted cream and raspberries on and proffer it to your immaculately shod feet.

I couldn't even find the bloody questionnaire without directions...

WildOrchidThatRaunchyFilmWithMickeyRourke I don't thnk I've ever really said hi to you, have I? How bleeding rude! Hello! I think you joined when were in the Western Parts of These Isles where There Be Dragons and No 3G.

I shall now go and read your posts to get your history. Meanwhile pliz to accept this slap upside the head with half a pound of frozen mince.

PS Hello Lyra and yes yes I remember you were veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee welcoming and luffly! MWAH.

well I dunno....have you used vanilla sugar in the sponge?

Nobbut on a serious note I am so sorry about your struggles: I did actually wince and feel very for you on your questionnaire answer re. which orifice is most effective, differly speaking. It's a wretched business and no mistake: I have got off relatively lightly (thus far at least). WELCOMEZ.

HELLO!

(is that better salty?)

Was just popping in briefly as was due call from Pater to wish me a happy birthday. As usual he looked at his calendar today and saw it was his youngest child's birthday, and once again had neglected to purchase a card. If it weren't the fact that he can't even remember his own birthday I would complain.

I have had a lovely spa day, with much lounging and an almost very relaxing shoulder/head/face massage. I say almost as the head/shoulder bit got a bit ouchy for my tastes. Why do they do that?

I have no advice to give on doctorates. I am still daydreaming about doing mine. I would like to go and slap the people blocking Scorps though. Bastards!

Shit - I guess vanilla extract isn't really good enough.

See but saltysemen you sound quite sweet really and not a procrastinating warped twat like me. So you have that in your favour.

Thanks Bangers. I have to say I felt worse around the one yearly TTC mark (which I think some of you are nearing) than I do now (apart from the whole M/C thing but ignore that). I can't really believe it's going to happen really anymore so I feel more accepting about it. Whereas after about a year or so I felt sad and furious and it was dawning on me that there may some sort of interventions involved.
Disclaimer: It is perfectly normal for it to take a year or more at our ages, I don't want to freak anyone out.

On a slightly random PhD tangent, talking about putting Dr on your cards, etc., there are several big travel companies that won't let women use the title 'Dr' on forms/tickets/online bookings, etc., because they don't recognise that women can have PhDs Trufax.

Gah, I was writing about this a year ago. Am developing a sort of TTC PTSD!

CocklesandMUSE-kels,alivealive-o (rilly scraping the bottom of the barrel there), hope you've been enjoying a tip top b-day. I didn't know whether to go for the ear trumpet or the tartan knee blanket so just got you a barrel of Werther's I'll be catching you up in a few months

I'll give you your 'special pressie' later when there's no-one else about

Well, there's nothing like being made to feel part of your partner's family, is there? And in the case of my ILs, how they act is nothing like making me feel part of the family (see what I did there?). Just found out that TYF's folks have been 25 mins away all day today and made excuses not to come and see me and our home when he kept asking. Have never been here. Of course, that suits me fine, but it's the principle of the thing. They could at least have the fucking manners to pretend they give even an iota of a shit about me.

No coaching. Well then Swizzle, I am even more impressed. Really sorry about your MC by the way, must have been especially awful that it was after the supposedly "safe" 12 week mark .

Really need to know when Twink's scan is so can put it in candle calendar.

Score I officially want to drag your ILs into the corner and give them the sort of savage talking-to that makes them feel simultaneously ashamed of themselves and desperate to mend their ways.

What's their fucking damage, man? I don't get it. Can they not, you know, grow up?

for you.

x-post with Scorpie. How, how, HOW did they produce TYF?

I know what you mean a bit Stinkypoo. There is a barrier of WTF?!?!?! There might be problems?!?! I guess once that's passed then then at least you know what's on your hands.

My position is actually a bit different*, in that for the first few months of TTC it wasn't happening for menkul reasons with my dear OM. Then when we overcame the menkul reasons it transpired that there were perhaps physical reasons, 'cos in precisely the months when we really went for it (lots of SWI when deffo ovulation) things went really really strange in what was normally a very clockwork and predictable cycle. So my luffly GP (I am officially stupidly lucky with my surgery) has been sending us for tests far earlier than people normally get. Thankfully things looking OK so far - just one more set of bloods for me, and JIAP for the OM.

As I say I have had it v. easy largely, and reading about your MC, and all my BESH sistahs have gone through, makes me realise that actually I have not got a great deal to complain of.

Disclaimer: You could not get me out of the Palais with a crowbar and three cans of WD40

*I like it on my hands and knees

Scorps, your in-laws sound like wankers. I have heard all about them and have struggled to be fair and that is the only conclusion I can come to.

SheGivesGoodHead (loving that one StinkyBum) how's the weeping, pustulating, ulcerated throat today? You seem reasonably chipper I must say. Or is that them Drucks?

Muse I was scanning and about to yell bossily "Oi young lady, get your arse back here for a moment!" but then saw you did. Happy birthday. I hope the vomiting has been at bay, for today at least. Though I understand why you are relishing it a bit, in a perverse and odd way.

Smelly you have just drawn a gasp of horror from me when you said it was normal for it to take a while "at our ages" and I realised you were younger than me by a year .

By here, Operation Fat has begun. I have been to Tesco's and purchased large amounts of ice cream, eggs, a pint of full fat organic meal for every day of the week just for me not him, and cream for puddings. People have advised eating the fat off meat but I can't bring myself to do that, as I don't even eat much meat. Let the scoffing commence Other than that, I am officially Run-Down and Over-Tired - my mother has decreed it.

Well, I find it hard to believe they produced him (and 2 others) via Seckshooal Intermacourse; that would take a speck of human emotion

Fanks for Grrrrrrs on my behalf. They're not bad people, just... stiff upper lip and odd.

HeadlineAct, is it very wrong that I am imagining you in all sorts of Bettie Page poses now? It is? Well, TOUGH

LALALA, WizzleWuzzle, I'm not listening to you about it being normal to take yonks. Although I suppose I should. There should be public service announcements and posters emblazoned with slogans like "ATTENTION WOMEN OVER 35 TRYING FOR A BABY - IT WILL TAKE FUCKING AGES AND YOU WILL HAVE TO ENDURE AT LEAST A YEAR OF ABSOLUTE MENTAL TORMENT AND HUMILIATING AND PAINFUL MEDICAL CRAP. PLUS, EVERYONE WILL EITHER PATRONISE THE LIVING FUCK OUT OF YOU OR BE INCREDIBLY TACTLESS. OH YEAH, AND THE WHOLE WORLD WILL GET PREGNANT EXCEPT FOR YOU. NOW SUCK IT UP, BITCHES!

I like to think that's way catchier than 'go to work on an egg'.

And by the way Lyra...awwww shucks!

PS have you stopped wanking yet? Tee hee!

Am liking the posters idea Scorps and also thinking a similarly-themed T-shirt would be marketing gold.

StinkyPoo And that StinkyOne is young! She had me fooled with all that cobweb / antiques roadshow stuff.

Score 'tis a shit story re. Phd and I admire you re. persisting. The whole BA thing is mightly unfair. They only seem to look at my recommendatons . But it does sound like you have really good chances. Your IL's ... well, I think I had this conversation (writesation?) before: I think stiffupperlippery is sadly quite common. I am sure it is not personal. And if it is, who cares. Unless they have influence over TYF?

TenderOrchid it is stories like yours that keep newbies like me in doubt! I love teaching too... but am sick and tired of studying taking over my life.

Happy Birthday young Mustard!

I officially hate SkinnyLikeAnArial. Cakes do it for me, luv. Lot's of cakes. Actually, if you want a lesson in eating disorders: go and get Belgian Chocolate cheesecake from Waitrose and eat two pieces at once. Get the family size trifle as well. You can have that the following day. The day after I recommend a packet of Oreos with Milk. At this stage you are ready for a pancake brunch. Shall I continue?

Apologies Fairy Godmother - just saying from my own fair experience. I think I felt hard-done to as did it P/T pretty much just in the evenings and at weekends for years bec had no time allowed at work for it (until the end that is). If you're planning to do it F/T would be a whole diff experience. Lots of my friends have v. positive stories about their experiences .

Wet kipper slaps all round.

Scorps sorry about the infuriating in laws. Do you mean they have never been to see your house at all? That's rubbish.

What's with the cake eating Aerial? Are you doing Atkins or something?

Whoops - didn't intend to cause mass hysteria with the "take ages" thing. After all, docs say to come in for intital testing if you've been SWI for a year under 35 or six months if over 35. I was trying to be reassuring but failed miserably! (Flails self with rotting kipper). And my ovaries are advanced age ScaryAiry, but obviously not me, I look like a hot teeneager! But there have been plenty of differs on this thread (and on other 40's/30's threads) who diffed without any interventions and investigations (including seemingly every single one of my friends).

(wanders off snivelling and picking fluff off birthday cake from the floor).

Oh and Headteacher I likes it on the hands and knees too! Spooky.

Teenager obviously. Although teen eager would work too.