30s TTC: Club BESHicana, drinks are free and we're hungry like the WOOFL! The MSDP continues...

[Scorpette]

Come on in, collect the Grolsch bottle tops for your DM shoes at the door

We're going all-out 80s for the continuation of the Mass Summer Diffment Project: John Hughes films playing back-to-back and on BESH FM, DJ ChoCho will be playing our all-time 80s faves, from New Romantics to Synth to Goth to Hair Metal to Pop and back again (no Fields of The Nephilim, mind). Our bartenders and waiters are Ducky from Pretty in Pink, Ralph Macchio (the Karate Kid) and Corey Haim (back from the dead especially for us) and unlike most of the real 80s, we actually get to booze!

Here's hoping the authentic 80s vibe will trick our bodies into thinking we've got the ovaries of teenagers!

(Not to mention tricking them into being super skinny and able to eat whatever we want and staying that way!)

There's plenty of Babycham and Ice Magic to pour over ice-cream in the Pit and Metal Mickey will bring them to the wretched at the click of a finger.

So whaddya waiting for? Slip on the ra-ra skirts, slap on the blue eyeliner and let's get winning those baybeez! Last one in the pool's a psycho hose beast!

Sadly, Choos, I have another word for you: 'skint' Also I'm too neurotic to cope with a cleaner - would be scared they're not doing things in the way that soothes my OCD tendencies

Aries - it might not be outright sexism but is taking the piss. 'Cos who do men bloody think is going to do it all if they won't do their share? [Feminist Hulk]

Is DPO2 - when can I start justifiably 2WOOFLing?

In reply, I see your point. However I expect him to do all manly things - changing plugs, topping up oil, pumping up tyres, drilling holes, one million engine maintenance issues on the boat. So it evens out. I just get mad about it when I want to get mad about something.

Ah. Well, 'tis your female prerogative to get mad about anything, however unreasonable

PS Got any pics of him all sweaty and stripped to the waist whilst doing his manly things... ?

I love having a cleaner, ours comes 8 hours a week because I am obsessive about cleanliness and very lazy busy.

Salty hope you're doing ok

Lyra I am shit. I will get round to sending the piss sticks, I am so sorry to be so lame.

I must confess, despite my uber-controlling character and slight OCD, I do really want to get a cleaner once I'm pg. It just seems weird and daft to get one in for a small 2-bed flat.

How are you doing, GoodQueenBess? Can I stroke your entire luscious body bump?

Fairy - T's MrH's second test - both were fairly similar. He is upfor the vits and the no booze although this weekend may take a while to get over - 2 bottles of wine Friday - no dinner (eatings cheating) and abottle of Fizz on Saturday + bottle of white with dinner and a glass for red with the lamb.... is NOT an encouraging start...

Nag the docs we got our test back in 7 working days and the fact he hasn't been called in prob a good sign as the results are fairly complex so if there isn't a problem the GP is not going to make the effort to explain good/normal results - lazy F*ckers. GP's are now on my Offical Judging Pants Rant List along with KFC and the piky travellers that are messing up MY park.

Bessie - 8 hours a week!! Go you. I get 4 hours every 2 weeks which in effect gives me 2 weekends a month where I don't have to come home on a Friday and start cleaning.

Aries - MrH is not your handy-man-about-the-house so v impressed with MrA range of skills!

Pette I would give myself 5 days for proper WOOFL. Not that I am encouraging the menkul or anything .

Needster, wot is your next step? I second teh GP inclusion into the OJPRL. The good ones go to study maths .

Good question Mountie we are going to have a serious chat tonight about diet and lifestyle changes. That will be for the next few of weeks till our appointment at the FC which is August 18th - look to get another test prior to that appoinment to see if that made any difference.

If not then its over to FC for some ideas, althought to be honest even if we get a 100% improvement it still puts us on the very low side and also the poor motility and morphology is a problem.....sorry struggling to stay positive.

Plus I'm the old BESH and should have pulled my finger out fricking last year when I was sat on my arse dithering if we wanted to or not -twat-emocition

Hi Scropey. All ok here, feeling a bit uncomfortable but nothing to complain about. I also have a v mild ocd and it drives me completely menkul when the cleaner doesn't scrub the shower tiles properly or if I see a cobweb in the house. I can't actually do too much cleaning myself or I get a bit obsessed with it and can't stop. I ended up cleaning my friend's mun's kitchen with a toothbrush a few weeks ago, to make sure there was no grease etc left on any walls, floors, surfaces... [hmmm]. I think she thought I was going a bit over the top

For all those with 'damaged white goods' issues, my friend's dh had a low count but took a supplement and ended up with super sperm. I tried to find out what the supplement was for one of the BESHes but my friend couldn't remember the name. They bought it from a health food shop though, so it can't be too.. ahem.. specialist.

It's pycnogenol. Also to be found in the Wellman Preconception thingies.

Also wheatgrass - I bought dehydrated juice in powder form because there was NO WAY that TNB would take it as a juice. And the Sex and the City episode about funky sperm? It's all trooo.

HunnyChoos (thought you needed a bit of comforting there), no idea how old you are, but don't beat yourself up. We also 'started' about 1.5 yrs ago, but dithered, stopped, then started again, etc... It's been since Christmass that we are totally up for it. Yes, of course in many ways it would have been better if we started earlier. But then, I am happy to have CH fully on board, moreover, really wanting a mooch, rather than the 'sure, if you want' which I had before. And in a way I think we needed the process. Yes, it may all come back to bite me in the arse, and sometimes it is a struggle to stay positive... but then we should not fall into the Daily Hell trap. My parents had us young and very easily. And they were good loving parents in a good loving relationship. BUT they had no clue what they were doing and sometimes I feel they were playing house. I hope to be better in that respect as I'd be older and wiser. Like I said, I hope it all does not come back to bite me in the arse.

I am ranting, aren't I? Also, from what I understood, such jizz problems are not necessarily age related... and it sounds like you are so far so good...

Yes, Beshie, Perfection I found that most stuffs recomended by MN are in Wellman Preconception apart from wheatgrass.

Wellman Conception, I mean.

Just so you know, am reading everything and absorbing it all and nodding wisely/lighting candles/examining the entrails of slaughtered hens (see posts passim) but I am poorlyunwell with what seems to be tonsillitis and thus mostly lying down earnestly hoping I'm bouncingly bonny and well by the weekend, when SWI resumes chez us

The for my tonsils and my lost ability to swallow, not for the SWI

PoorBangers Hollibobs sound lovely, but tonsillitis is rubbish.

Doctors? Is someone bringing you chicken soup?

Can see a trip to Holland and Barrett!! Thanks for the tips ohperfectone

Thanks Fairy do need a pat on the head as trying to remain uber positive in a Hi-de-hi camper styley over the weekend has done my head in but I know MrH is prone to AmDram - we're all doomed - scenarios...I'm more your realist - don't shout till you've been hurt- and at the mo I think we are down but not out...yet.

Have 5 weeks for Super Fertility Bootcamp and the hope that FC quacks know their FooFoo from their PooPoo...

BangerHead is that the white spots thing? Have you seen a doccie or anyfink?

banger upside you don't need to swallow to SWI....I shall return to the gutter....

Imagine what tonsilities and weird pussy spots would do to the White Goods! I am sure other orifices are fine though.

Chooster, make space in the gutter. And well done on the new attitude!

NeedChoos ! Lovely to make your 'quaintance btw!

'Allo Camel!!! Come 'ere so I can rest my head 'pon your shoulder. Fanks. The OM has gone out for tomato soup and soft bread.

Seeing GP 2moz. It looks different from tonsillitis because the white ulcer things are gradually spreading along the inside of my cheek and I have earache . It might just be a batch of ulcers I guess

You know what, it's like three weeks since I pointed out to a sickly colleague that I'm never ill. Ah well.

Hola head the ball I am sorry that you is poorly and it does sound gross.....

headbanger welcome back. It could just be ulcers, a group of them is crazy painful. Yeah, the collective noun for ulcers. A crazy pain.

I like that Bess! I'm going to tell the GP I have a serious crazy of ulcers.

Meanwhile, this thread has entertained and appalled me and demonstrated quite how much I know absolutely nothing about the grimmer aspects of motherhood. I shall read it to comfort me through my next droid

Headcase, tis good to see you, mouth things sound nasty Are you wrapped up warm with lemon and honey and other such soothing things? (Gin is good for tonsilitis I'm sure).

Was your holiday all lovely and relaxing?