30s TTC: Club BESHicana, drinks are free and we're hungry like the WOOFL! The MSDP continues...

[Scorpette]

Come on in, collect the Grolsch bottle tops for your DM shoes at the door

We're going all-out 80s for the continuation of the Mass Summer Diffment Project: John Hughes films playing back-to-back and on BESH FM, DJ ChoCho will be playing our all-time 80s faves, from New Romantics to Synth to Goth to Hair Metal to Pop and back again (no Fields of The Nephilim, mind). Our bartenders and waiters are Ducky from Pretty in Pink, Ralph Macchio (the Karate Kid) and Corey Haim (back from the dead especially for us) and unlike most of the real 80s, we actually get to booze!

Here's hoping the authentic 80s vibe will trick our bodies into thinking we've got the ovaries of teenagers!

(Not to mention tricking them into being super skinny and able to eat whatever we want and staying that way!)

There's plenty of Babycham and Ice Magic to pour over ice-cream in the Pit and Metal Mickey will bring them to the wretched at the click of a finger.

So whaddya waiting for? Slip on the ra-ra skirts, slap on the blue eyeliner and let's get winning those baybeez! Last one in the pool's a psycho hose beast!

Hello there Ocs! How's tricks? While I was away I believe I read about your GP questioning you on sexytimes etc. (is that right?? so much happens in my absence!) and remembered thinking how lucky we were with ours sending us for tests etc. despite my laughing like a hyena hopped-up on E when he asked if we were doing it 2-3 times a week .

Hols lovely ta. Is going to take a week to unpack. I think you're right about gin for tonsillitis, or an alky hot toddy of some kind...

You remember right, the GP was anything but helpful, although was doing things by the book so I can't really complain too much. Sexytimes I could provide the right answer for, at least for the middle bit of the month, although how long we can keep that up for I don't know. TH isn't complaining yet though!

Unpacking and washing and all that should do itself after holidays, it's the last thing you want to be bothered with when you get back. Glad you had a good time.

The more I think about it the more alcohol seems a good cure for tonsilitis - surely it'll act as some kind of a disinfectant and get rid of the nasty bugs. You should experiment.

waaah - I've missed so much over the weekend. Picnic sounded good!

cucumberandlettuce we're also waiting for the news on the fridge functioning front. Mr O has been on the wellman conception vits for 2 months, so not long enough to have made any difference to this jizz test I wouldn't have thought.

Orcy Thanks for the bolstering story!! All good news stories welcome to feed the crazy hope and despair rollercoaster!

The menkul has spread to obessively analysising 2nd hand conversations MrH had with Quack (our idiot GP) and going over and over the possibilities and the hidden meanings each and every word could possibly have - she mentioned IUI - does that mean we have no hope of improving Fridge Spec???

aaahhh the menkul - T'is crazy.

Awwwww, my poor little BangersNMash It's miserable enough coming back from a holiday without being poorlyunwell. I'll stick to molesting you and wait for a welcome back snog when you're feeling better Hope you get better VVV soon.

If it's tiptop supplement for menz wot you lots is after, the new Zita West (hallowed be her name, as I always point out) ones are suposed to be a-mazing, Not only do they do a really good once for overall male fertility, they do a v specialised booster for males who need extra help or who have had less-than-ideal jizz results. Here's the shop section: www.zitawest.com/products.php

They also do a multivit and booster for laydeez and do natal vits for each trimester of pregnancy, for all you lurking PESHes out there

Extra tongue for you, Humperdinck

I have decided to not 2WOOFL until at least the weekend. BEHOLD MY AWESOME STRENGTH! RAAAAARRRRRR!

PS Any news from Salty today?

hello BESHies.

Am exhausted. Went to work today and the strain of not being menkul, plus having to maintain a stiff upper lip (what with noone at work even knowing about BOC, apart from 1 person) PLUS feeling like proper crap very nearly killed me.

I circulated a story about a dental appt, hence needing time off on Friday Is it bad to lie? I simply cannot cope with speaking about it at work. I will weep.

In gusset news, tis still a murky non pristine gusset. On the plus side, murkybrown rather than scary red, and very similar to my first missed Droid. So I'm not too worried about it (ha! see how I lie...). I was also sick this morning and have had a horrible headache all day. So unpick that one.

Tenterhooks indeed.

Twinks, if you're out there, am thinking of you lady.

Mememememememememeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Well, that sounds...kind of...tentatively not bad news Salty. Could be ok after all. I'm not surprised you lied - lie, lie lie.

How's the diphtheria Headcase?

We'll be lucky to get any action in at all this month. Times are too hard. Bed is too late. Days are too long. Hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel but at the moment I'm wondering why on earth we chose this life.

Onwards and upwards proud Beshes.

BAAAAAAANGERS my poor poorly one. Good to see you back. Please to be getting well very soon.

BESHies I tried to steal my new nephew for you all but for some reason his mum wasn't up for it. Pah I say. He is ridiculously cute. My ovaries would have gone BANG if I was not already diffed.

BangerBingo you poor love. Tonsilitis sucks big time.

And dear Scorpingtonbear I am impressed with you repelling the menkul, well done you.

Muser dunno if it's poorliness making me sentymenkul but when you acksherly wrote the phrase "would have gone bang if I was not already diffed" my eyes filled with tears. Sometimes I forget what a proper brilliant wonderful few weeks we've had with you & others and when I remember I get properly goosebumpy so there

Salty dear you have full dispensation to lie as much as you need to to get through this, and I was brought up in a sect & can recite whole pages of the Bible which makes me practically the Pope so what I sez goes . More seriously I am tentatively glad that your gusset displays no alarming badness and will continue to keep the BESHcandle burning for you and others (erm, am I the only one thinking of actually going out and getting an actual large expensive candle for this very purpose?!)

Aries you chose that life because you were brave and non-conventional and had a passion beyond choosing fashionable kitchen units and wondering when the Next sale was going to start and completing appraisals ahead of the next quarterly management meeting or whatevs. You are both sort of my idols for doing what you do. So there.

Dear me, sorry for soppiness. Normal punch-in-the-gob services will resume shortly.

holybangers didn't realise you were an actual Pope. 'Mazing, and thank you for your blessing on my lies. I'm trying to keep it simple so I don't trip myself up!

Arieldisplay what IS it that you do, do? If you don't mind me asking?

Oh, and yes, I have been thinking of buying a delicious Joe Malone candle for BESH purposes.

I meant Jo Malone. Not Joe.

Am idiot.

Wow, we have the pope and our very own goddess. Tis a very blessed place this here palace.

Dentist sounds like a very sensible place to be heading on Friday salty, the less people you have to tell anything before you're ready to the better. Am hoping the news will be good, very glad the gusset's not as worrying as it might be.

Oh, I meant to say, I just had a very bizarre conversation with TH about ttc. He's trying to compare the whole thing to a project plan at work, complete with PR4s and TR6s (except no TR6s cos that involves testing whether things work at -40C and 100C ). Apart from the fact that it was all gobbledegook I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!

Dentist will be taking out a wisdom tooth, which I thought would be a sensible, could still be suffering and/or unable to go on school residential trip type plan, if necessary.

If it wasn't so unbelievably sad, I'd be pleased at my evil genius....

Blessed be the BESHies.

'Scorpington Bear' is my favest moniker yet! Am glad the gusset is calming down a bit, Saltcaramel - braaaaahn indicates the end of bleeding, which can only be good. Now we just need it to stop altogether (come on gusset, you can do it!).

On the subject of lying, I am an Atheist of a magnitude that would worry Richard Dawkins and can tell you I think considered lies are actually sometimes the most moral option to take. And if not, you're really not going to get bollocked (I will clarify so don't offend anyone: in my opinion). So I think we've covered the good side of lying from every spiritual and philosophical standpoint - bullsheeeeeeeeeeeet away, lovey You and the baybee are what matters here.

BTW, am inspired by your morning puking - is good sign, surely?

And SheBangs, I've been wondering where I can get a truly enorm candle from too. Will - sadly - always come in handy.

Salty you have free reign to lie - no one..I say no-one in their right mind would question you. Can you imagine the HR interview...

HR: You've been telling everyone you were at the denist on Friday. I have it on good authority you were not.Where were you?

Salt n shake : Was down at EPU making sure the BOC in my tum tum was ok.

HR: Er as you were.... profuse apologies!! (esp is it was Boy HR)

Thank you....

Do you think we could get Jo Malone to sponsor BESH Thread? We could include her name in next thread title?

Mr Salts and I have regular 'who believes in any god least' discussions. Is there something to the far left of Aethism?

Morning puking. Could be good sign, could be sign of tremendous anxiety. Je ne sais pas my leeetle cauliflower.Also Dr Google (damn him) says that of BOC is going to miscarry

a) You stop all pregnancy syptoms immediately

Or

b) Pregnancy symptoms carry on regardless

helpful, no?

like this?

We need rose & geranium candles...rose essential oil is supposed to regulate a woman's cycle, and also combat feelings of sadness, and geranium is also some sort of female scent, but calming too. Which covers all BESH/newPESH bases I believe.

Good Lordy gracious, that was boring . I went in for aromatherapy big-style when I were a nipper. Must have been INTOLERABLE around the house. I reeked of frankincense!

FOUND ONE!!!!!

And it's made up my ends too

Yours is prettier and more tasteful, but mine is bigger....

Oh Salty no need to wax filthy like that, it will really get on my wick

I recommend NEOM candles, they are lush www.neomorganics.com/shop.php.

You sure you haven't got tonsillitis of the comedy gland?

Hello Saltoftheearth, you were totally justified lying to leave work on Friday. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.