30s TTC - Our BESH GussetWatch Ever, With Guest Star Joe Mangel!

[Scorpette]

Come on in, you raddled old caaaaahs, whotchoo waitin' for?

I've gone for a groovy 60s psychedelic theme, so get your fat upper arms comfy in the hanging globe chairs and hide your mememe shame in the glow of the lava lamps!

Russell Howard is our new bartender, although I don't think he's happy at the flares 'n' kipper tie outfit I've forced him to wear. And of course, Mitchell is in the pit, nervously awaiting his first guest.

Let's make this one diffalicious!

Aw, Fanks BESHes...I'll take everything you're offering. Airbags Ha ha...I had forgotten about that daft fred - but at least it brought you over here to us (if I remember correctly).

Just opened a nice bockle of red wine.

TEQUILAAAA BUUUNNNDDDLLLE!!!!!

(and no,I haven't worked out the finer details of how a tequila bundle works. I definitely like it in principle though)

actually can't quite find the words to express my sympathy at how you must be feeling. And not 'cause it's girly. Just get so 'ggggrrrrr'' and 'aaaargh' at the fucking bastard shitness of it.

So. We are bundling. we have tequila. Shots and wrestling...what's not to like

cho love. It's a big pile of poo. Fuck waiting lists, fuck blood tests, fuck it all. Am amazed at your sanity and general fabulousness.

scorpsbride you can come to my house and sing along to musicals anytime. And I promise not to mock your accent.

chochochochonges very sorry to hear this is month 50, you seriously should be winning a baybee.

I'm feeling optimistic, ElScorpio which probably means I am setting myself up for disappointment in two weeks' time.

ooh, Lucy Mangan on a Mumsnet web chat.

Eeee, thankee Milady Drom. Can Ah tether t'whippet to t'back gate - am presumin' Ah'll have to use t'servants entrance? Then we'll 'ave a reet good knees up an' no mistake

I have a she-crush on Mangan. Tues is my day off but 1pm will see me en route to Needles Lady. Arsebiscuits.

Medivac, I hear ya. We will be here for cheers or jeers depending on the droidular outcome. Preferably cheers. COME ON MEDEE'S EGG, DO IT FOR THE TEAM!

Now then, am I too late for the Tequila Bundle?

Everytime I read Lucy Mangan's weekend column I worry that she is me. She even lives with me. MrM is not a ToryBoy, but rather like ToryBoy in other ways.

Muse you and me both.

with me NEAR ME. She lives near me. Gah.

Wah! Boring self indulgent post. Move along ladees, nuffink to see.

Have a sore throat which has lead to an attactive bark-like cough. However, am hamming it up so I could get out of visiting friends for their kiddies party this afternoon. We're the only couple of that "gang" not to have children & I can't face it today. Coupled with the fact its our nephew's birthday (we can't see him anyway as lives in Frankfurt) & news just in that sis-in-law is going to blow out the candles on his 3rd birthday cake then head into hospital for her second as contractions are now coming thick & fast. Family all excited.....

I am too, I'm not that much of a cow. But all together am just wanting to hide under duvet.

And cough.

Oh, cho 50 cycles is a nightmare. So sorry to hear of that landmark.

head rubbish that your fella has to work & miss wedding. Hope you get horribly drunk..

gin no idea how a tequllia bundle works, but I have the salt & lemon & am starting my run up, so figure it out quickly.........

Sack that fucking party Lolz...I'm guessing the only reason other adults go is so that the favour is reciprocated when it's their kids birthday. I got one of these invites recently...why the fuck would I want to go to a party full of snot nosed three year olds, strung out on tangfastics and frootshoots...when I am famously barren - forget it, I'm not a fucking mug.

Now go and gargle some honey mixed with warm water (more effective than any over country sore throat remedy - TROOFACT!) and have a nice afternoon shag or drink or cake or something!

Thanks cho In fairness the friend's are always very sociable & have a house full of all ages of people. Quite relaxed & let the kids run riot while adults drink. God, that sounds really irresponsible, doesn't it? Usually its quite good fun - plus fella is a chef so always great food.

Cross shagging off the list as I've told the boyf he should go to party. I just want to be alone.

Off to prepare hot water & honey.........

Poor Looby Lou with your poor poorliness. Shove a tot of whiskey in with the lemon, send boyf to party and snuggle with up with some comfort reading.

Chinese burns to you Lou - I'd sack off the party too.

Evening ladies. Exam this morning, went fine. Won't be top of the class but should have comfortably passed I think. The most boring afternoon of lectures in the history of learning; an hour (an hour!) on the making of lead mats to go under patients when x-raying them. I nearly hung meself. Luckily I remembered just in time was covering for Head's fella so wriggled into my PVC uniform and got out on the streets sharpish.

Cho your tally sucks. There's really nothing more to be said for it. I'm really sorry.

Lollo - how's you feeling?

Well done for surviving the exam Cass, having to do lectures straight afterwards is cruel.

Cho no-one should have to still be counting at 50. Tis just not fair. Am liking OcsBowLake though - does it suit me? I think I win a prize for least creative name inventor round here!

I missed the conversation about musicals so am temporarily going to resurrect it (sorry gin) to say we saw Les Mis last night which was fab! Friends came up from down south and so we've been hearing more about the adoption process they're in the middle of. They discovered a while back they weren't going to be able to have kids of their own, but at the mo people keep asking if she's pregnant. I'm amazed how chilled she's managing to be about it, but that's got to hurt. Not sure why people feel they have a right to ask questions like that of anyone. Am on their behalf.

I love Les Mis.

Why are they asking her if she's pregnant? That must be terrible.

Well done on the exam, Cass. That lecture sounds really interesting. No really.

People keep insinuating that I must be pregnant with my 2nd child. The thinking seems to be that you've managed it once, he's 2 now, it's time you popped out another. Perhaps they think the thought just hadn't occured to us . But I get it ALL the time. I guess it's the sort of thing where until you're in that position, you just don't assume anything could be wrong.

Have an assignment due tomorrow about the various causes of pelvic pain and am thoroughly depressing and frightening myself with how many of them cause infertility.

PIsces you want me to see if anyone recorded it? Or perhaps I could forward you my lecture notes? I gave up and started drawing on them at one point but I'm sure you could still get the gist.

Oh, mooosicals. Yes, love them. I'm not in a choir but I have sung in a few bands in my time, I'll have you know. AND I've been in a variety show at the London Palladium, not just chorus, oh no, I had a solo, people. I'm practically Elaine Paige, me. Or Sarah Brightman without the scary hair. Or Subo, without the...well, hopefully many things.

Shall we form a BESH chorus??

That's a tremendous idea. A proper BESHtival like Glastonbury. And we'll have a dance tent for those who can't endure the musicals.

Am bored this evening and am scanning YouTube for old Crowded House songs. Forgot how much I loved them. Check out the Don't Dream It's Over final song at Sydney. Makes me well up. Absolutely adore Private Universe too.

No everyone's going to say they were rubbish aren't they. WELL THEY WEREN'T OK?

You know where all this talk is leading us, don't you? BESH GLEE CLUB! I have a singing voice like on of those hollow-eyed mentals you see on X Factor thinking they're going to make it big, etc., but I can get us all hoofing like pros!

I need a larf - have mainly been crying like a twat all day about how rubbish me and my life are (wail about this to TYF and then add 'notincludingyou!' at the end, cos he is a doll). Think I am slipping into depression. Babyfail just throws up so many other issues of feeling rubbish, like a loser and so on. Or is that just me being pathetic? Anyway, could you all now perform a filthy Burlesque version of Lady Marmalade to cheer me up? I wanna see those nipple tassles flying!

VERY unhappy bout all this musicals bollix. At Beshtival I shall arrange my own line up for the Other Stage ta. And watch scorps and cam being torn between yodelling with you lot and trying to cadge a backstage pass off me

who liked the levellers? Can we invite them?

scorps I'm not doing that but I will cuddle you and warble 'there is a light that never goes out' in your ear. Although that may not actually help your mood. Pick another from my vast off-key smiths/pixies/cure/mary chain/either of the bobs repertoire. Other atists by requests. Heart ya,lovely xxxxxxxxx

First big gig I ever went to,back in 1903,was new model army (!) supported by the levellers who were Best Band Ever. I then saw them about a million times and wanted to shag jeremy (was it really jeremy??) the innappropriately-monikered crusty bassist...