30s TTC - Our BESH GussetWatch Ever, With Guest Star Joe Mangel!

[Scorpette]

Come on in, you raddled old caaaaahs, whotchoo waitin' for?

I've gone for a groovy 60s psychedelic theme, so get your fat upper arms comfy in the hanging globe chairs and hide your mememe shame in the glow of the lava lamps!

Russell Howard is our new bartender, although I don't think he's happy at the flares 'n' kipper tie outfit I've forced him to wear. And of course, Mitchell is in the pit, nervously awaiting his first guest.

Let's make this one diffalicious!

No, I wasn't being mean! Honest! Feel shit now. I just mean it's very baffling when you skim.

Wasn't meant to make you feel shit - just wanted to make sure you knew!

Thank you

In other news, um....there's a good weather forecast for tomorrow.

And I'm going to see Wicked tonight! I love musicals. Is that a character flaw?

No MyHumpsMyHumpsMyLovelyLadyLumps. It positively recommends you to all who hear your name.

Me, I gots the soundtrack to Cabaret on my iPodular earpieces. Yes I have! And I'm given to bursting into "Tomorrow Belongs To Me" at inappropriate times...

We sang a song from Wicked in our choir. Completely forgotten how it went, but it was fun.

Headbanger I now love you even more, if that is possible. Cabaret is my favourite thing in the world. I pretend to be Sally Bowles on drunken evenings. In fact the night before my wedding I stunned my audience friends by singing Maybe This Time from start to finish (with actions)

You're in a choir Aries? ME TOO! . Ours is a folk choir. Yes ladiesandgents, I'm that cool.

Maybe This Time is just the business. Indeed the other day I thought of nominating it as the BESH anthem ("Maybe this time I'll WIIIIIIN" ... ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba BAAAA ... "Cos everybody, Oh they love a winner, so nobody loved meeeeeeeee....").

Ahem.

Careful Headcase - we are about to drown in a pool of mutual adoration.

Glee-meets-Cabaret

Crap recorded from tv, but happy Friday!

I don't do choirs because I can't sing, but whenever my best friend and I get drunk and stay up to the small hours we end up singing along to all of Guys and Dolls. Usually followed by I Know Him So Well. Then it rapidly degenerates into a mess of Tammy Wynette and wondering what else you can mix with gin if the tonic has run out...

THAT'S ME. I WANT TO BE HER.

Gak, I can't see it until I get home. That's it, I'm leaving work now. Now, I tell you.

Hilarious work thingy:

www.graziadaily.co.uk/fashion/archive/2010/05/14/politicians-in-love--marc-jacobs-and-a-sea-of-shoes .htm

I'm off home now, too.

You know who they're starting to remind me of? Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee.

evening all and a massive hug to Heady and her OM.

We did the deed last night and I got another eggy peak this morning, so muchos fingers and legs crossing for the next 2 weeks.

aaaargh. I'm not coming back in until you have stopped talking about musicals and such.

I mean, I heart you guys deeply, but I have my limits...

But Gin - what good is sitting along in your room? Come hear the music play!

Good Luck Meds, and also to OcsBowLake and her sexy hols.

Okay...what's this all about? Since my hysteroscopy, my first cycle was 22 days long, and now I've just come on after 19 fucking days...Go! Luteal Phase!!! WTF is this all about plz to be telling me?

Next month will be my FIFTIETH (no, it's not a typo!) month of ttc, ffs...I think I need to just buy a cemetery plot and give my womb a dignified burial , rather than keeping it alive just for the sake of it - Is there a Dignitas clinic for defunct organs?....does anyone have the details of that women selling scary fake 'realistic'baby dolls?

Gaaaah....if I don't win IVFtwinz, I'm going to have to start buying cats and shaving them.

I WANT TO COME ROUND CAMEL'S HOUSE AND SING MUSICALS ALL NIGHT! Only they would laugh at my Northern accent and uncitylike ways (travelling by cart horse, chewing on a bit of straw, screaming in terror at the metal birds flying overhead, etc., etc.)

Meddlesome, am v optimistic about your FFJ Frenzy this month! Win! Win! Win! Win!

SheBangsTheDrum, v about your poor Mister not getting time off and all that. Is so rubbish for both of you. Am v impressed with your getupandgo-ness with arranging meetings and the like to get your new career as Judge Judy rolling. Please to send me some of your vim and vigour - I seem to have had my motivation surgically removed in my teens (p'raps they whipped it out when I had my ears pinned back at 15?). Gah to the droid but yah to the curry. A top Ruby cures all ills

My ha'penneth about having stuff that defines the fred as only being for decrepid longterm babyfailers is this: I do think that perhaps the title could make it clear that that's who are and maybe the intro could say anyone over 30 is welcome but we're bitter, twisted hags because of babyfail and it's not for everyone. And that we don't take kindly to the uber-fertile. I dunno. I'm torn between not wanting to be all Mean Girls and make others scared to be give us a whirl and between wanting to cave my own brain in with a rusty clawhammer every time a young noob appears and is diffed with triplets before she's even finished writing her first post.

'The Gin Palace - Crones Continuing to Cock Up Conception': does that work?'

Big hugs and a syringe full of morphine to the sextuple-hard bastard that is Gin and her Toothache of Doom.

...and just realised this means my IVF would need to start whilst I am away on holiday...just off to Fertility Friends to see if I can takes my bag of drucks and start while I'm abroad, or if I need to be here to attend clinic...more soon!

Cho, I sense you are close to the edge, so accept this grope that turns into a half-nelson and wedgie and then drink this wellyboot full of meths. You know it's the only way. May I congratulate you on 'Ocsbowlake', which is a work of pure genius and you deserve no less than IVF Octuplets for it.

There is a shop 10 mins walk from my home that sells those 'Baby Reborn Dolls', so I can set you up with one of those, no probs. You ought to talk to my Bossfriend - 37, single, workaholic and, as I've said on here before, the owner of two cats who she dresses up in hand-made outfits, hand-feeds with a spoon and who sleep in dolls cots with blankets over them she knitted herself. I fear she may only be friends with me because I'm one of the few people who don't judge her for it Either that or because I tell her to Google filth like Rusty Trombone and Dragon Butter, etc. (Don't do it!).

Seriously though, ChokeByChuckPahluhniuk, I wish there was summat - anything - I could do for you. 55 tries is about 54 too many and your body really seems to be messing you about royally. Can I offer you an un-BESHy snuggle whilst everyone isn't looking? C'mere!

...forget it...just realised they wont let me start anyway until the Boyfs bloods are back on 7th June...ah well...pop goes another fucking wasted month

Seconded, Cho. And to think that jizz-gate cowbag asked if you had considered getting yourself checked out .

OcsBowLake is admirably creative. Are you a geographer?