30s TTC - Our BESH GussetWatch Ever, With Guest Star Joe Mangel!

[Scorpette]

Come on in, you raddled old caaaaahs, whotchoo waitin' for?

I've gone for a groovy 60s psychedelic theme, so get your fat upper arms comfy in the hanging globe chairs and hide your mememe shame in the glow of the lava lamps!

Russell Howard is our new bartender, although I don't think he's happy at the flares 'n' kipper tie outfit I've forced him to wear. And of course, Mitchell is in the pit, nervously awaiting his first guest.

Let's make this one diffalicious!

Actually having thought about it,one of the dildocams did hurt a bit. But that was one of the ones when I had ectopic,and the hurt when they came into contact with one side of uterus was apparently very much connected to ectopicness...is one of the signs (of which I had a few by that point,don't think they'd diagnose on that alone...)

may well be why yours was uncomfy too muse. You really made me laugh with the lazy slack egg n sperm combo,for some reason I pictured Wayne and waynetta hanging out in me tubes...

Must confess, was not too afeared of dildocam before I asked, but mind is totally at ease now. So long as they don't ask me if I want 'ribbed for her pleasure' condoms over it and I can't hear mysterious sniggerings about 'uploading' and 'youtube' coming from the nurses than I shall be fine

I got nervous jokes from MrM before I told him to shut up. Poor bloke.

Wayne & Waynetta is exactly it gin! It's like the start of Look Who's Talking, only they're hanging about smoking fags and saying "how much further is it?"

muse... 'i'm not movin' now, I am smokin' a faaaaaaag!'

Hahaha. Oh what a lovely image.

I think we should force one of the PESHes to call their daughter Spudulika...

or frogmella

it's exotic!

innit though???

scorps you read my mind - that's the name we've decided on

Nice to have cho and gin making their presence known again.

laurielou if you are there, I was trying to CAT you but can't. Can you please email me: curlycasper at rocketmail dot com ?
I promise not to stalk you... Ta.

Gin for you, I will actually go to Islington. Even though the ley lines meet there and I always get embarrassingly arseholed and do something awful.

And ScorpsBride - dildocam isn't painful, just a but weird...

Morning all.

Day 33. Am now on joint longest cycle of last 10 years. If make it to tomorrow will be longest cycle ever in all my 21 years of menstruating (fuck me that makes me sound old).

I'm thinking of erecting a blue commemorative plaque in my uterus, what do we think? Would you come to the unveiling ceremony? Perhaps we could do it in Islington on 25th, if I were to be welcome as a relative newbie (has That Terrible Thread in mind...)

How are we today hags?

Dildocam,dildocam
does what a dildo with a camera can
they lube it up,nice and fine
and shove it where the sun don't shine...

cam that sounds like a perfect evening luvver. Though I will be doing Proper Work and so may have to limit myself...to,say...a bottle of wine and some gin? Unless of course I'm pregnant by then. HAHAHAHA.

I don't know the superman theme tune so I have the Dangermouse theme tune going through my head instead.

Dildocam.... it's amazing!
Dildocam..... it's terrific!
DildoCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!!!!!!

Spiderman theme not superman. Or spiderpig if you've ever seen the simpsons movie.

at dildodangermouse stew

by the way I watched zombieland the other night. I LOVED it.lots of fun.has the same guy that is in adventureland which I also saw recently and thought was ace...

I have mostly been watching films with 'land' in the title...

I got me superheros muddled, & sang "dildocam" to the toon of Spiderman.

(note - I sang it in my head, not at my desk)

lyra so glad PapaLyra is coming home. Our positive vibes have worked well so far, so I'll keep them coming for "just" scarring.

casper will do! But will prolly have to be later. Working now, innit (obviously!!).

Sorry - can't remember who asked why the grapefruit. Honestly? Can't remember. Sommat to do with helping juciness. And considering Clomid has made my fango desert dry, I need all the help I can get.

Also planning a trip to Boots for some other such stuff. Can't think of the proper name, just the boyf saying "so its like sperm velcro?"

cass tis sounding promising. Would cross everything, but if its OK I'll leave my legs uncrossed. I'm dealing with enough hurdles as it is

Uh, despite having only just caught up on fred cannot remember a single other thing. Tis shocking. Is "baby-brain" fo real? I'm going to have to carry prompt cards with me if that's the case.

Laters, x

Waaaaargh! I suffer from the dreadful affliction of 'Ear Worms' and will now be singing the various dildocam songs at work! How to explain to others? gin, that was genius, even if it does get me sacked, heh heh!

CaMel&Kim, you make it sound like Islington is the only place you get embarrassingly arseholes and do awful things

Stewpot, this long LP sounds v exciting - fingers crossed for yer

Well, I had a series of recurring dreams where I had a lap and the Docs told me I was so mangled inside that I would never be able to have kids or even have IVF, etc. Thanks for that, mind

To cheer myself up, am going early to work so I can bankrupt myself on the new Topshop make-up range (out today)! I am a mature and sophisticated woman. Spangly stuff! Pretty fings! Gimme gimme!

stew occasionally our bastard bodies have random cycles just to fuck with us because something random has thrown them off. I'm normally v regular (except for a bit after mcs) but I've had the odd cycle where I've been a whole week late for no apparently reason. And been convinced that I must somehow be pg despite piss sticks practically SHOUTING at me. So you have my sympathy. Not that it will make you feel much better....

But I know something that will. I haven't made a 'flaming inferno' for a while,so here's one for you. It will make your head explode and you will probably wake up lying under a park bench or something. See I am taking care of you

in fact,line 'em up bar keep! Flaming infernos all round. Mind you don't set fire to your hair laydees See you on the other side...

lorry spiderman= correctomundo (as mani has bizarrely taken to saying)

Ooo am a rude bitch. Course you'd be welcome stew. I don't want to lose my 'has met most beshes and caused at least one besh domestic' medal!

4th post in a row alert!!!

stew hope that didn't sound patronising. Wasn't meant to be. I just really think that even the most regular cycle decides to do crazy shit to mess with your head when ttc.

Also, 'that terrible thread'?? Wassat?

I think there was a terrible thread somewhere in which someone was told that she couldn't join a meet-up because she hadn't posted enough recently. Crazy-ass.

Am working from home today and being cross at the radio, which is filled with people arguing about if it's ok to sterilise people who have drug/alcohol problems.

Put 6music on and get a musical cuddle from lozza laverne.

Oh no worries Vodkagoddess - didn't feel patronised. Two pg tests have said neg now so to be pg would leave me in a very very very small percentage of people! Just no idea what the hell is gaaaan on. Have decided though to hold loosely to menkul for a few more days after decaff's story of yesterday, as at least menkul makes me less menkul than giving up on menkul. If you get me.

That Terrible Thread - twas a thread on here last week, a load of women on here had arranged to go for a meet up and all booked hotels, then one found at the last minute she wasn't welcome anymore - proper car crash, twas hideous.

I cannae be bothered to do anything this morning...