30s TTC - Our BESH GussetWatch Ever, With Guest Star Joe Mangel!

[Scorpette]

Come on in, you raddled old caaaaahs, whotchoo waitin' for?

I've gone for a groovy 60s psychedelic theme, so get your fat upper arms comfy in the hanging globe chairs and hide your mememe shame in the glow of the lava lamps!

Russell Howard is our new bartender, although I don't think he's happy at the flares 'n' kipper tie outfit I've forced him to wear. And of course, Mitchell is in the pit, nervously awaiting his first guest.

Let's make this one diffalicious!

Gotta get me to the post office soon. Have a Russian visa to sort. Big bruv getting married in Moscow next bank hol weekend. Crayzee.

Lozza, do you mean Preseed? I have heard great things about the stuff. One thing I've always thought is that when applying it, Husband must never, ever realise such stuff existed, as he would wilt like a tulip in May. That's just him though. He's useless.

Just realised how utterly horrible I sounded about my dear, lovely husband. Very at self.

ireemon I'd just say it was lube and not mention any spermy stuff.... Actually,would I?? (thinks...you say 'lube',man hears 'bumsex')

maybe just put it on in advance and let him think he's just really got yer - ahem - juices flowing???

Aries 'wilt like a Tulip in May'

I love you. I ACTUALLY do.

Am getting behind on the fred! Wha'gwaan? BESHmeet? BESHmeet? When?

Felt sick this morning. Almost certainly the fact that I've not been eating and sleeping but of course it could be the world's earliest morning sickness, non?!

Score pliz to share full inventory of sparkly purchases.

Cass, worra rollercoaster. Sorry to the negs. Oh and I read that thread! Poor woman. They went for her like a pack of hounds.

Sorry. Memememe post coming up. Don't read on if you'd rather not be bothered by trivialities.

This is a bit grrrrr-making. My mum has just announced she is coming to stay for a few days, arriving tomorrow. Tomorrow or Friday was set aside for piss-day. My mother is the interfering no-empathy type. A conversation when I was a teenager and mooning around after someone who didn't fancy me may have gone thus:
Her: What's the matter? You've got a face like a slapped arse.
Me: Nothing
Her: Yes there is. Tell me immediately.

Because that of course is the way you get an angst-ridden teenager to open up to you.

So I don't know whether to risk the POAS-ing and it being negative and me then being a cow to her (just because she's there), or it being positive and it being none of her business yet, or testing early and risk it being inaccurate, or droid arriving mid-visit etc etc etc.

HO Aries duckie, these things are not trivialities but the stuff of life.

Can you not tell her that it is inconvenient for her to stay? No-one should just turn up unannounced.

However. If she is coming. I would do the POASing now. Because I cannot stand suspense. It makes me a thousand times more ratty than just glumly coping with disappointment. and besides - it might be good news, then however crap she's being it'll water off a diffed duck's back!

OH Oh...

I think I'd wait till she was gone Pisces - if it's positive you want time to absorb and jump around, if it's neg you want time to stare at the wall etc...

Putting her off sounds like the best plan, although it may be too late for that.

I would probably put off POAS, and if she asked me what was wrong if I was moody blame it on PMT. It could be true. Or POAS and blame bad moods on PMT and just don't tell her if it's good news.

True givesgood

Have new strategy to deal with lack of droid: eat everything in sight.

I am proving rather a natural.

aries tis the cheapo Boots version of Preseed - Sasmar Conceive Plus me thinks. (A kind PESH gave me the link).

Hadn't really thought about how it was going to feature in the SWI. I've told the boyf its on the cards though.

Oh casper have emailled you. Hope I'm not in trouble!!! Let the stalking commence!!

I'd love to come along to a BESH meet, but am rarely in ThatLondon & am also uber paranoid about "outing" myself. What if 1 of you are my sister? Mate? Sister-in-law? . Can I perhaps stalk you from the sidelines wearing a fake moustache & dirty mac?

Thanks for emailing lorry. Now I shall adopt my strict matronly manner...
I have explained all in reply.

Tous les beshes....

please to read this

That is disgusting. I have emailed a complaint to the PR contact on the Bauer Media website.

I can't access the actual article, but the heading is enough. I used to think he was quite cute in a dirty-monkey sex kind of way.

What a delightful man.

"Mother, I'd like you to meet........."

AAAAGGGHHHHH - such cuntage makes me SO angry. But thanks for pointing it out ginny, have also complained.

What a wanker.

nice one laydeez.

i am so bored i have strayed into aibu. and i don't do that. because i get VERY CROSS.

repeats old matra 'IDGAFIYABUON'

Have got a response already... (think she may be busy cutting and pasting this afternoon...)

"Due to an extremely regrettable production error, an inappropriate and indefensible response to a letter has appeared in this week's issue. Zoo editor, Tom Etherington, apologises unreservedly for any offence the response may have caused and has launched an
internal enquiry to ensure lessons are learnt.

Zoo and Danny Dyer condemn any violence against women. A donation will be made to
Women's Aid.

regards
Sarah"

I mailed someone else... head of Bauer media I think... haven't had a reply yet...

Shit will be hitting fans in the Zoo offices this afternoon then!

Think I mailed head of H Bauer which is sister co so prob wrong thing (doh.)

Have now mailed one of Bauer's PR people.

Grauniad have picked up on it too. Good.

it's all over Twitter... Awaiting the full backlash. Dyer is a such a smug twat. But hopefully not for long.