The BESH 30's TTC: "Shall I get me rat out, Doctor?"

[ChoChoSan]

The Palace is open and the anti-freeze is flowing - Blue Bols 50p a shot! Two for one on Archers and orange, for the classy BESHies (the ones who keep their hats on whilst undergoing an internal examination).

We have Vampire Bill and Brian Cox in the Dungeon, and David Mitchell and Brian Eno tending the bar....

Am conserving my energy for another such gem

WHY IS KID'S TV SO SHOUTY???

Actually have just remembered the 'gin can't/isn't/is scared to ttc at the mo' thing....soooo why am I here?

Ah yes,random comedy violence

as you were.

Thanks guys, having the mystique (makes it sound glam, ha!) taken out of it also takes away some of the fear. She said I'd just need a bit of humiliating legs-akimbo camera action AND possibly they might just hoik the polyp off , but they would warn me if they needed to do that instead of just, well, hoiking. And she said it was so small that she might've pulled it off with her swabbing, given the mucho bleeding. Wish I'd not asked how they would do it - apparently involves some sort of slim forceps which they then 'twizzle vigorously' . I do NOT want to hear the word 'twizzle' in any medical capacity

She couldn't explain why I've got cervical erosion - could be anything from having a well-endowed partner (my lips are sealed... but TYF does take a size 12 shoe), to slightly over-producing FJ - although, as she said, you wouldn't know as you'd think it was normal, or just 'one of those things'. It's the possible scraping with a metal grossness that terrifies me. Nearly 2 hours after the swabbing I'm still in agony and that was just a normal smear! My delicate flower really IS a delicate flower I shall be inspired by poor old Camel's bravery in the face of her HSG nightmare. And the rest of you and your reasuring tales. Cheers, mi ducks

How come idea of childbirth scares me less than idea of colposcopy? Madness!

scorps it's not related to over-enthusiastic ferreting is it?

scorpy cos you get something good after childbirth I reckon...

The erosion stuff is pretty common I fink...

I have my guilding spray out and ready.

scorpy hair strokes for you. As soon as you brave this deed, then you shall be free from all fear (until you actually do get diffed) We love your madness, keep it coming!

gin proud for you too - but not going to search for said funny thing 47 threads back.

evening all.

Having caught up on the last thread, really sorry to read your news Muser, and I am not sure who's fighting with whom, but it doesn't seem really appropriate here.

I am still in agony even though it's been over 3 hours since the swabbing and have had to take anti-period pains tablets. This is why I find the colposcopy terrifying, because if I'm suffering this much after a smear, how nasty is that bad boy going to be?! If I had to have an HSG would my foofoo explode?

Also made mistake of Googling 'cervical polyp'. Apparently, it's v rare to get one if you're not someone who's had multiple pregnancies, are going through or are past the menopause... or are perimenopausal. GOOD TIMES So am not freaking out now, not at all. Still, at least I had a whole day and a half of non-menkul. Sigh.

Cunty - I wish! But if that was true, I'd've had no lower half left after a few months of seeing TYF.

And I know all this is nothing compared to what others amongst you have gone through/are going through - I'm just having a big crybaby feeling-sorry-for-myself waaaah, 'tis all.

Am so scared of perimenopause, might accidentally stress self into perimenopause

Oh, and I'll shut up now, but here's something we can all agree on: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

NO MORE GOOGLE. It is not your friend. Poor scorps, tho, c'mere and have a snog comforting hug.

I haz braved the needle and lived to tell the tale, huzzah! Fertility acupuncture, woo. I will obv now fall pregnant immediately. Actually, dude was super-nice and the experience was v interesting. He wants to wait for the next session until after my test results come back, so we can work out what he's treating.

And his oldest patient is 48! See, we are all babybesh.

shinycunt and cho what do you make of this acupuncture lark? Apparently he works directly with lots of ivf clinics.

Oooh acupuncture sounds cool camel. Hope it does the trick.

Scorps> hope you're thing goes ok. Am sure it will be much better than you think.

Meanwhile, I decided to torture myself and use my other CBD. The one I did yesterday morning said 3-4 weeks. This one says 1-2 weeks. I sense a drop.

Ah fuckit. I must be the most fertile BESHie not to win a baybee

Scorps that thread was so inspirational, it really made me think about what is important in life, and frankly I am sure I am speaking to all BESHies when I say that it makes all of our problems fade into insignificance

Didn't FlightAttendant stalk Ski around MN, eventually gatecrashing the Palace? (Dont know how she slipped past the bouncers...Anne Widdicombe and Janet Street Porter must have been having a fag break).

Apparently acupunture has been tested etc. And improves the chances of ivf success...I intend to read more about it, but obviously it's impossible to do proper double blind testing because the subject tends to notice whether or not they have been skewered with a load of needles .

camel yay for needles! I had acu for passy-outy period stuff when I was a young 'un...actually really liked it

muser am very sorry. You're right tho you are obv super-fertile. Maybe try sticking some velcro up yer foof?

Seriously,am sending many cuddles your way.am sure it's gonna be third time lucky...

scorp you lovely menkul...I just googled same thing,without The Fear. And it says it's common. It says more common post babies etc,but that doesn't make it uncommon in your situ...is just The Fear whispering in yer ear. Also can cause spotting,which could have summat to do with yer braahn bits

(I know far too much about other peoples' menstrual cycles. Especially as I have no fucking clue what is going on with my own...actually while I'm here,what would be the general vote on a 'normal' length for a droidy visit? Just wonderin')

sorry bout the snot love,hope that's not your fave top...

Cho, they have done some double blind studies using sham acupuncture, where you put needles in the "wrong" places...I think that worked almost as well!

Gin, normal cycle length, I would guess anything between 24ish and 34ish OK? But haven't really got a clue. And god knows mine have been up in the 70s before now!

Oh scorpsicle: your poor wee ladygarden. Stay away from Google though, for realz - menkulness and a harrassed rat do not make for calm reading.

In other news, I have eaten myself immobile throughout the day in a state of PhD terror. When we do finally get round to the SWI, he'll need a head-lamp to find it

muser God damn. Basically.

gin mine's quite short: 'bout 24 days. Just after coming off the Pill it was 21 days - which was obviously great fun for me, and the OM.

You people have needles stuck in you by choice? You're all more menkul than I thought!

Sorry birdz...not cycle,actual droid. Am thinking that a sort of 1.5 days n then few patchy bits of bleeding is not quite right... Prob just body sorting itself out,but I have A LOT of worries in the back of my head and shorter,lighter RTODs are only gonna fuel the mentallism.

Mr Gin will be back from Paris any time now,plane has landed... He had better be bearing gifts....

muse are you around? I hope you're doing as okay as possible in the circumstances. Everything I try to say just sounds like wank, sorry about that.

Gotcha ginnifer, sorry - I have about 24 hours light spotting, then coupla days relatively heavy, then maybe a day/half a day easing off.

Yours sounds reasonable? I fort only ones that were super heavy and lasting days and days and days were no good?

That being said - woman I know with six kids, the last at 40, had periods so heavy and so long-lasting she had to use 2 or 3 towels at a time, so not sure what it signifies really, if anything.

Nah ead I has got speshul reasons to worry about the short,light variety. Woop woop yay me.

Maybe it is normal then. I thought a few days (3-5) of kinda 'proper' bleeding was normal. But this year has been so full of shiz n nonsense and before that I was bf,before that I was pg,so fuck me I dunno.

I've never had more than 2 days of proper bleeding & I wouldn't say it was especially heavy either. But of course, no idea if I'm normal so um, I'm being no use WHATSOEVER!

I am around ginhag. Was contemplating smashing every plate in the house but decided that would just result in housework. Don't really know what to think or feel at the moment. The problem is there is absolutely nothing that can be done, and no answers as to why it's happening until it happens again. And, to be honest, the thought of going through this again makes me want to never SWI again.

Yeah but mate,considering I don't even really know what I'm asking or...umm..why,entirely...

You is Absolutely and Exceedingly Helpful. Here,have a glass of rioja.