30s TTC - We BESH you a Merry Jizzmas and a droid-free new year!

[CurlyCasper]

Come in, come in. The wine is mulling, the bird is stuffed and cooked. We have a huge table at which to enjoy our festive feast, and the rippling Ricky Whittle is the centrepiece, draped in berries to be removed by whatever method you choose.

A bottle of Gin and an elf-man in a box awaits each and every one of you. Just make your wish and when you undo the bow he will appear.

There's a nativity tableau in the corner, for praying to the baybee Jebus and, most importantly of all, Santa has been asked to deliver the gift of exceptional fertility, so that each and every BESH can enter the new year with a baybeeee in their tum tum.

Oh, and I've let a few cats in to aid with the 2WOOFL menkulness.

Now, let's get together and get the tree up!

ski she does have a baybee...

gin Nooooo... I'm not married either - I'm a slag!

Hmm ski i was just thinking that you were an unmarried harlot too..

Gin, are we proppah-hengaged just cos we agreed to get married at some non-specific point in the future (this Dec was mentioned, but don't want to if will be fat with child or fat after child... basically, wedding day has to be when I'm not fat, this is the most important factor. Its aaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll about the dress) or is it not real till I ring up, we tell everyone and set a date? Have only told youse lot just now, @2 RL pals and my Mum. And I think it is still sin in teh eyes of teh lord jebus kryzt if you are living together and are only engaged. Jesus, on the other hand, is cool with it

God, I have a cunt of a headache. Sleeplessness + stress + standing in freezing snow and wind for ages + crying = aaaaaaaargh.

Have been highly-recommended new book 'The Baby-Making Bible', which is apparently really helpful and unpatronising, so might nip over to Amazon in a mo.

Great, just started to have bits of droid show. How fabulous. Another month of babyfail.

I have also very helpfully found beshie this wedding dress. means you don't have to worry about being diffed when you get married!

ginhag it was a full minute before I could speak after seeing that dress. I think my eyes are bleeding. That must be the most revolting sight in the world.

Sorry bad timing on that post beshie. bollocks to droid.

scorp well it counts for more than having been together for 9 years plus and still going 'hmmm,prob not gonna happen!' at least jeebus knows you intend to clean up your act when TYF is old enough!

Hahaha ha ha ha!!!!

I is unmarried and living in sin and have a bastard child too Gin! My dad once told me he would disown me if I ever got married . He has mellowed somewhat in his middle age though but I think he meant it at the time! That's what you get from being brought up in hippy communes by anarchist dad and hippy lesbian mum! Good times...

Tell the droid to piss off Bessie.

I am still in my PJs - do I win a prize?

BESHPRIATION ALERT! Dannii Minogue is diffed at 38 (and at least a stone underweight)!

Twinkle Unlikely... extremesitting may be lurking in her dressing gown!

Yes gin unmarried, barefoot, pregnant. A slag and a harlot.

SQWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! to VAG and her successful copulation!! My heart is warm and my eyes are damp and I'm tempted to come over yours and bring my 3 spare clearblues so you can know fo shiz and stop mithering

However, am @ beshie for her finger-rock. How I desire a big, fat non-conflict diamond on my finger, if only to dazzle small children and grannies with. Not much danger of it happening anytime soon but. Hom says he wants to marry me, but can't be arsed afford a suitably pricey symbol of his love for me. ? yes, that's what I said too.

Scorps don't forget though, Dannii Minogue is really healthy, she probably doesn't drink or smoke

Yeah, but does her toyboy do this sort of thing?

oh my god.

I would laugh SO hard if I found Hom with one of those

That thread is definitely a troll. Have seen stuff like that on here before. Very imaginative though...

cunty when you do get round to it you can borrow beshie's wedding dress

Yes I posted it again. Am trying to make beshie cry

the best I ever got out of mr gin on subject of marriage was 'look,can't I just say that if I was ever actually going to marry anyone it would be you??'

I loves him tho I does. We have house,business etc etc and a small person between us so I think he's fairly comitted in his own speshul way.

gin I've got more used to it now but it's making me laugh very nervously...

Maybe I should go ahead and plan for a wedding anyway; like you say, I've always got Andrea's dress to fall back on but atm I feel like I'm never going to get updiffed.

Loving that dress

Will show Hom, see if that changes his mind.

gin I'm not married or engaged either. In fact I'll go one stage further & announce I'm living with my ex-fiance! Yep, lived together for 10 years, got engaged (cover eyes beshie) it all went tits up, split up for, oh, 4 weeks, cancelled wedding, threw him out, got back together, love each other dearly, TTC.

Oh & my beautiful diamond ring is nestled in my "me" drawer between tampax & rabbit

I'm happily married and my diamond ring (if a little subdued) is lying with my wedding ring in a stationery tray above the 'puter, among paperclips and drawing pins. Not had it on since about July. Fat fingers, you see... (should really be arsed to wear them on a chain)

A rock would be wasted on me (but I never said that!)

VAG congratulations! Am so so SO pleased and thrilled for you! You're going to be one of the Nappy Vallistas!

and congratulations beshie on the Romance - is like a fairytale romcom with the snow and all...

Curly - wearing your fingers on a chain is going a bit far. Why not wait to see if they depuff after the baybee's born?

Am such a style-nazi that am not fussed about an engagement ring as the usual sort just wouldn't work with any of my looks and the ones I like are the mental-priced ones. TYF always buys me a lovely piece of unique (though not pricey) jewellery for bdays and Xmas - this year, he coincidentally bought me the same thing I got for my Secret Santa victim (that would be Casper - it's no big secret!)! Do you genuinely like it, CC*?

Am now fretting cos Dr also said the swabs would be checking for thrush - and when I said I'd never had it, she said you can have it v bad on the cervix and not itch at all! Am now imagining internal discomfort. Thank god I always wear skin-tight trousers over my nylon thongs - that should see put to any thrush

*Look, I have French blood, okay? I find it genetically impossible not to automatically assess everything in light of its 'chicness' and its suitability with the rest of my wardrobe. That's not to say that I'm not often a scruffy fucker, but I do apply make-up if I need to pop to the shop. I know, I know. Talking of which, must nip to Tesco (yes, it's black ice out there but I'm starving and my cunning plan to only fill the food with virtuous food is not helping my need to pig out).