30s TTC - We BESH you a Merry Jizzmas and a droid-free new year!

[CurlyCasper]

Come in, come in. The wine is mulling, the bird is stuffed and cooked. We have a huge table at which to enjoy our festive feast, and the rippling Ricky Whittle is the centrepiece, draped in berries to be removed by whatever method you choose.

A bottle of Gin and an elf-man in a box awaits each and every one of you. Just make your wish and when you undo the bow he will appear.

There's a nativity tableau in the corner, for praying to the baybee Jebus and, most importantly of all, Santa has been asked to deliver the gift of exceptional fertility, so that each and every BESH can enter the new year with a baybeeee in their tum tum.

Oh, and I've let a few cats in to aid with the 2WOOFL menkulness.

Now, let's get together and get the tree up!

VAG No, I didn't. But I did find a sperm cryobank in San Francisco which only took donors from Ivy League colleges and doctors/vets/lawyers.

Hmmm - just me then.

Everyone BUNDLE Scropy....

Scropes you might be eligible for maternity allowance from t'government also... see here...

www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/Expecti ngorbringingupchildren/DG_10018869

The wedgie did the trick thanks Cunty. Back on the case today, looking for a new acupuncturist wot specialises in fertility.

Did have slight setback - got results of bloods (hospital found them after my screeching fit) which showed FSH has risen to 14.2. Which is over the limit to receive clomid.

Now have to repeat bloods anyway so they can figure out if this was a blip or part of trend....garr.. Why is nothing ever simple?

Right, we are off shopping for food before we get snowed in again tomorrow. Just as well I have 2 weeks off work - 1) all this infertility shiz takes up so much time and 2) do not fancy driving on all the ice at night just to work in a fecking supermarket.

Catch u later hags.

VAG no you are not alone I also did that until it was discovered it was probably me with the problem But TG STILL hasn't knocked one into a pot to confirm this... grrr.

gar I can feel stress levels rising. No - I WILL remain calm

Phew! Do you think if I tell TSF this it will spur him on to get his tests done and not keep putting them off?

Isn't there some sort of horrific statistic that 1 in ten babies are not fathered by the "father"?

On the BBC, therefore must be true

Are there 10 diffs among BESHs yet? Who's been monkeying around, then? Hmmm?

scorp is there no way you can think about setting up your own business? I know it's not quite that simple, but i'm a believer in fate - i think it's your time...

VAG My grandma once told me that "in her day" if you couldn't get pregnant, you didn't make a song & dance about it. You just got your husband pissed and passed out and then you nipped out for a knee-trembler. Open secret in those days apparently.

haha my diff was most certainly jailbait as we moved house those days and wasn't out of his sight for more than 30 seconds!

Ah, simpler times

Just skimmed through past few days & there seems a steaming pile of shit luck & news here.

scorp sorry to hear about the job. I too believe in fate - me losing my job was the best thing that happened & gave me the kick up the career arse I needed. Good luck.

polly kick them all in the chuff. What utter nonsense. If it helps I had an HSG last month & nurse asked me when next appointment with consultant was. Eh, don't have one.

I have however had to put all that to the back of my mind at the moment as I have found a lump in my breast. So now seeing a different consultant about that. Not panicking as no history of the dreaded "C" in my family & GP said prolly a lovely cyst or summat.

So when I get this lump mallarkey sorted I'll ring fertility consultant again to see what next.

Yay for me & my increasingly failing female bits.

Oh Laurie - how worrying. Breast lumps are often not c-word, do keep us posted - it's just the last thing you need right now, something else to worry about. Glad everyone is being proactive about it - hope it is sorted soon

oh laurie - how utterly shit

hope it's nothing serious. think the odds are good though? something like 9 out of 10 nothing to be worried about. fingers crossed!

also to those worried about shit sperm - my husbands was dodgy and now i have 2 (of his) in the oven. rubbish sperm is not necessarily the end of the line!

scorps sorry to hear about the job. what a fucker? hopefully it's one of those doors shutting & opening situations?? second cunty also - own business now way to go? good for when you are knocked up too

cheggers how the devil are you?

hey laurie - i'm great ta. fat and sober but still off on chrimbo hols so all is good.

good to see you posting in these parts again. stick around this time eh? that goes for figgy as well if she's still loitering around the back door

Shhhhh cheggers! All this talk about "back door" gets dear iggy over excited!

Oh Laurie that is rubbish, very sorry to hear about defective norks. Like you say, prolly nothing to worry about but good its getting checked out.

Thanks all. My back door is working OK though......

cheggers Christmas hols? How did you manage to wangle that? I'm back in work but still have the Christmas sweeties to keep me going

Back door? Fnar.

I am bored and stressed in equal measures. How? Why can't I concentrate on work? I blame you lot. Just because you're here, really.

Hey me too Cam - I have a tonne of work I should be doing, very little time to do it, and here I am trollin' around the Palace and the Dish to the extent that I now have a sore "mouse" thumb. (I don't mean tampons, I mean the Dell type)

Oh, good. Am glad it's not just me. Is it January-itis, do you think? Or the snow excitement?

Laurie In chortling about back doors, I somehow missed your news. Fingers crossed it's all ok and just a cyst.

Mmm, nachos.

laurielou I had a lump in my boob about 8 years ago and went in to a total panic - no history in my family either. Got a mammogram which is actually just a fancy word for mashing your tit between two breeze blocks and x-raying it! It was bugger all... consultant said probably just too much coffee/hormones and to keep an eye on it. He was right - it comes and goes, tends to come around droid time. Best of luck!

Is quiet here without Scorps

Off for weekend of dates with TSF (not brother)- have good ones, all.