30s TTC - We BESH you a Merry Jizzmas and a droid-free new year!

[CurlyCasper]

Come in, come in. The wine is mulling, the bird is stuffed and cooked. We have a huge table at which to enjoy our festive feast, and the rippling Ricky Whittle is the centrepiece, draped in berries to be removed by whatever method you choose.

A bottle of Gin and an elf-man in a box awaits each and every one of you. Just make your wish and when you undo the bow he will appear.

There's a nativity tableau in the corner, for praying to the baybee Jebus and, most importantly of all, Santa has been asked to deliver the gift of exceptional fertility, so that each and every BESH can enter the new year with a baybeeee in their tum tum.

Oh, and I've let a few cats in to aid with the 2WOOFL menkulness.

Now, let's get together and get the tree up!

Pregnancy or t*nts. Never both.

WHY ARE CUNTS MENTIONING THE 'C' AND 'T' WORDS? I'm about to ovulate - what kind of monsters are you? If I babyfail again this month, I'm going to track you down and throttle you with a guiderope.

But apart from that, welcome Newbs. Can I be the first to call chim chimchimaneychimchimanychimchimcheroo?

Look, it's been one of those days.

Guiderope? I don't do c**ping and am v tired. Off to bed with me!

I'm very much liking "filthy bin raiding labradors"! We are mostly fans of pets around here and feel that a little person needs a best mate who'll french kiss them and doesn't mind their tail getting pulled. Good going queenrollo. Fails for i) cmping and tents and multiples of and ii) someone needs to explain R2D2/RTOD. I also like the sound of your walls and it's often a look I go for...

PS Bonus question - What should one do with a butterdish?

Bah, I ovulated yesterday and "d"p refused to SWI. So annoyed...

welcome Rolloqueen

Bessie Well by the time you've OV'd it's too late anyway at our age... so as long as you got plenty in Sat/Sun/Mon you're laughing all the way to the baybee-bank.

Morning BESHies - and welcome rollo and chim

For honey ocarina and probably queenrollo - see pic on my profile of lab puppies

But I still had FFJ, Ski so I thought it would still work. He was sulking about something so wouldn't do it. I will have to hope Sunday's and Monday's SWI was enough. It HAS to be my turn to win a baybee by now. I know Camelina and Scorps and VAG are higher up the list than me - weren't there about a million BESHes got updiffed around the time you did though? Perhaps we can recreate that.

Ginhag if you're lurking, I hope you are doing ok.

I don't deserve a baybee - am hungover and in 2woofl period. Bad, bad VAG.

Maybe I should actually follow extreme's advice and give up drinking totally while TTC. It's been a year of trying - I can't face another year of misery without self-medication yet it might speed things up. Argh argh argh.

Welcome newbies! Though queenrollo Alan Rickman does not count as a crush-of-shame. We want to know the real one! For example, mine is Eric Morcambe. (Sorry Scorps).

Also - and on a total tangent - why are boy's names so funny on babies? Or is it just me? Imagine "Hi I'm VAG and this is my baby boy Dave" Or baby Steve. Or baby Clive. Or baby Len. Or baby Frank. Or baby Alan.

It's going to be such a long day. Boss seems anxious we don't get snowed in - hopefully she'll send us all home early. I've had the coke-and-crisps tonic, and will try to survive till the mini-cheddar break before lunch.

Sorry. Rambling.

Or baby Keith. Ewww

righty.....

skihorse i do own a butterdish, generally it is full of 'things' like odd screws i find lying around and currently a dalek shaped cookie cutter that my son put in there. Sometimes i even use it for butter....but not very often.

i do hope i haven't said anything i shouldn't have, i'm a bit scared after my previous faux pas.

iggypiggy labrador puppies are cute. fully grown bin raiding labs not so cute. i acquired these dogs when i bagged myself the new man. One likes bin raiding, the other one likes to get in my bed during the day, and as you know they moult like crazy.

VAG er.......does Justin Hawkins from The Darkness count as a crush of shame? You see my heart has always belonged to Mr Depp so crushes of shame have been few.

can assume the R2D2 is the droid reference? and they are bad, we do not want a visit from them? either way....my 4 year old is obsessed with Star Wars, so the irritating beeping little so and so can beep off as far as i am concerned.

I agree VAG, boys name sound weird on baybees... which is why I think you might as well go for an old person's name, and they'll grow into it. My current boy fav is Sidney.

I am now on the wagon. No more booze for me til I have had a baybee (or three). I win the Clomid next month so I figure if I am going to take drugs to boost my fertility, the least I can do optimise my chances. I did thoroughly enjoy my pissed-up-ness over the festive season though.

We are snowed in now, hoorah! 5 miles of snow-covered single track lanes to the nearest shop. The local farmers are our landlords and are going to drop round a sack of spuds and some other veg. At least we can live on jacket potatoes until the snow clears! Juat waiting for the blizzard to stop so we can go out and play.

alan or nigel

VAG I does hate to say this but... first updiffment followed a booze free January last year... and i wasn't drinking much before the latest one either I did read somewhere that alcohol can make it hard for implantation to happen... So msybe a trial month of cutting back might be worth a shot?

Anyway - where is my new year violence BESHies???!!!!!!! AND BUMSEX

May I piss on everyone's chips by miserably pointing out that I am teetotal and still a babyfailer? Although I did have a large glass of dry cider on Xmas Day so if I babyfail again this month, that will clearly be the reason

My Uncle is called Keith. Great guy, crap name. I only like supergay posho names for boys and TYF hates all boys' names, including his own (which is actually a great name, the fool), so hope I have girls.

Cue all-male quadruplets. Tarquin, Farquhar, Gaylord and Sacheverell. What?

Am fed up with being snowed in - there's 2 new MAC collections out and I can't get into the city! I truly do have my priorities in life straight, don't I? Eyeshadows are my crack.

Today is CD14 so should be Chucky Egg Time but my temp has been high (but not quite over the coverline) for the last 2 days and hardly any FFJ. But feel Ovvy and am horny as a bitch - those of you on FB may have observed that all my posts and comments are suddenly about rudery and nekkid menz Confuzzled!

PS No crushes of shame for me today. My latest proper man-crush is French actor Tahar Rahim. Google him - he has a pretty!

I don't think booze is here or there in terms of babyfail/win. The night of the fateful meeting between myself and iggy, she was being all well behaved and reserved while I got totally bolloxed (sp?) (by accident, and thanks to droid arrival), and we were both winners a few weeks later.

The moral of my tale? Dunno really, but I tthink booze is always allowed when the little metal fucker beeps.

scorps that doesn't piss on everyone's chips cos all I was saying was that by drinking you could be stopping implantation - not that being teetotal = babywin

Not drinking might not actually work and get people updiffed - but it could be a factor if you are drinking innit...

now come 'ere and gizza snog your horny bitch

Right then, directly after my next pink panther I shall absteme for a month to see what happens. Thus pledgeth VAG. Amen.

(Place your bets on VAG's failure of willpower next week....)

Lurve the name Sidney. Also like Ernest and Ivor. Sister has already pinched my fave, and another banned fave is ex's name. If I don't win soon, all the best names will be taken. Boo.

I want to be snowed in! It isn't fair! Poxy smog keeping central London warm. Poxy gritters keeping us safe. Poxy trains running. A pox on the lot of yer.

VAG the occasional glass would be ok tho... I reckon... cos I've never managed to completely give up

IT IS SNOWING IN LUNDUN

I like booze. Don't make me stop. The boyf got me drunk, that's when I agreed to stop taking the pill. Sneaky bastard.

VAG you're boys name list was a who's who of my ex's. Oh, except Dave who is the current. And an ex if you count a dodgy period in 2005.

ANYWAY,.......

Made my herioc way into the office, only to receive an abusive text from my mum for being a silly girl & to go back home. She said it was mayhem - snow, sirens, just like that film "The Day Before Yesterday" (!) A text row ensued. Then she set my dad on me, who rang me in the office, his opening line "Are you stupid?" Eh, appears so. So I'm staying here until 7pm. Ha, that'll learn 'em.

Oh, I want kids just so I can be a menkallist when I'm older.

Crush full stop is the lovely Wentworth Miller. Shame of all shames I boughts his calendar last night - currently taking pride of place on my work notice board. I think I lurve him.

Now snow me in with him & there would be baybees galore, oh yes there would

I fink this was one of the things i read...

But doesn't fucking explain all the people who drink loads and find out they are updiffed at 12 weeks gone or summink