30s TTC - More Gin Than George BESH

[Scorpette]

Come on in ladies, the bar is fully stocked with Advocaat, Bailey's and novelty Xmas drinkies and the slaves are wearing Ann Summer 'Santa's Hat' posing pouches. Have also festooned the place with plenty of festive tat and lots of v un-eco and tacky Xmas lights and shit because I know we all love getting Xmassy dead early. There's a fireplace so you can send your wish list to Santa up the chimbley, platters of wooden spoons and coconuts on the mantlepiece and 'Mulled Wine' scented candles lighting up The Pit of Despair. Make yourselves at home!

Hola Humpy, no worries - I am easily scared. What is next on the fertility agenda for you? We heart you Cam.

Ahhh a good grope in the morning is always a nice way to start the day!

Polly although my HSG was painful too (similar to the shooting pain of kidney stones) from all that I hear it is relatively painless for about 90% of people -just cramping sensations. Does that make you feel any better? If not I have a frozen fish here just for you! Agree with camelina that it is over fairly quickly though.

Clomid = hot flashes and hopefully a few good eggs!

Pass the gin!

get your own gin HCS this bottles all MINE!

evening ladies, I think the droid is en-route, due to pale pinky brown spots on the loo paper. Bah!

medee when is the evil metal dog due?

today - CD42!

Medee - Booooooooooo

Or you can come and join me on the 'it's an implantation bleed' denial bench....

well, I do have one buttock on that seat! If it doesn't kick in properly, I am going to test friday am, as I need to know before the weekend (girlie weekend, which features an aromatherapy massage, which if i were pg would be a no.)

mm, it has disappeared now.

Does the orange smell verrrrry strong?

Don't have any oranges but just went to fridge and sniffed some grape juice. Nearly snorted it, so yeah, it smelt pretty strong...

Evening pantwatch from me... Small amounts of brown throughout the day, but no more red (although I usually have brown for a couple of days before droid... But not red first!) A vigourous game of squash didn't shake anything out either...

Scorpelina just got in from work and was thinking of you - don't worry your pretty little head about about OPK's and not ovulating. Unlike you I only did OPK' - no temp charts etc. I didn't even take much notice of FFJ and other signs of Ov. If I had, I may have noticed something was amiss earlier.... damn my carefree lax attitude.

However, if I were you I'd still get down t'doctors and get those bloods done. Wouldn't hurt to find out and if it helps put your mind at rest then it is worth it.

Off to bed now laydeez. Good luck on the bench Medee and WeeWee.

And thank you Cuntshine - that does make me feel a bit better. I am trying to view it positively - as a way to rule out any problems and therefore get my mitts on the Clomid. As opposed to the image of massive spikey metal thing being shoved up my twat without pain relief in manner of the alien coming out of Cartman's arse.

Pissed on a stick. It said no.

weewee you said the bleed was four days before you were due? If that's the case, you're not likely to get a positive until the day droid due or after that. Don't lose hope - to save your sanity just pray to baybee Jebus that real droid stays away then test when it's properly late. I know, I know, easier said than done. (would a whack around the schnoz with a frying pan help?)

Secret Santa wise, My recipient will soon be opening a cleverly wrapped man-child with festive adornments. Not sure he'll fit through a letter box though...

(I'll make sure he also comes with beer, Wii and a tool belt so existing man in giftee's life does not return to sender)

weewee, as the wise Casper said - it's too early. If implantation was yesterday then it's going to take around 48 hours (and you have crap African piss-sticks) for the levels of hcg to reach your wee in detectable levels. Have you stuck a thermometer in it?

I really hope you mean stick it in the wee...

Am v v v v v down in the dumps. Will be in the Pit of Despair trying to lez up Camelina if anyone wants me. My Dad was so unintentionally insensitive and thoughtless about baybees and shiz yesterday that it'd be too far-fetched for a comedy sketch about an unintentionally insensitive and thoughtless father It just sent me back into an even worse sadness Will be lurking...

weewotslong after my implantation bleed it took TWO DAYS to get the tiniest hint of a BFP.

Keep us updated - I'm thinking too much about your gusset

Aww, thanks lasses. It's nice not to feel like a complete loon in all this (if only from hanging out with other loons... ) No more red but continuing bits of brown, just like wot I usually get before a droid...

However there will be no more mention of it all till I get either a definite babypass or a definite babyfail....

And Scorps sorry to hear you're down in the dumps of despair. Would you prefer an Unhelpful Cliche or for me to slam your hand in the door?

Lesbo action in the pit? Hang on, I'll set up me ticket booth

Hi all - slaps on the arse all round etc - flying visit to say have just been forwarded a link to this which must have been written by a BESH. I'd buy it. Gin and sleeping is the way forward.

VAG Frighteningly good for a rich british expat in Brussels... they're generally horrible examples of women. E.g., overheard in the gym "ohmygod my life is such a Niiiiiiiightmare, David can't make a decision about the walls and I told Alberto to just do it anyway and then I have to go shopping after my class, my life is just a niiiiiiiightmare and he comes home at 8pm and expects me to have him some dinner my life is just a niiiiiiiightmare". I pretend to be forrin.

Hmm, I like it. Definately like the title "WTF".

Hmmm - 'tis quiet around here without our pet Scorpy.

Pom-de-pom.