30s TTC The Loch BESH Monsters

[CurlyCasper]

Welcome along women of a certain age. The new palace has a post modern water feature, spouting forth gin from a serious of suspicious looking humps...

Cunty Sending you a punch in the arm and a giant tube of superglue. Feet up on the sofa, and can I get you a nice soft boiled egg, whoops no, I mean prawn cocktail, damn it, cheese souffle, no, er... dry piece of toast?

poopoo MrP was side-swiped by a deer last year. It leapt the barrier and tried to run straight across the motorway. He then had a problem with his insurance renewal and they said, but you have a partial fault accident on your record. He asked 'How is it my fault when a deer ran sideways into my car?'. They said, 'There has to be some party at fault and we can't blame the deer.' So what was that deer doing on the road without a valid tax and insurance disk? That's what I want to know!

cunty swung by and saw this - subtle Don Draper style nod of congratulations. White jeans for you for the next month, lady.

Hearty pat on the back for cunty. May I add this giant rubber bung to the selection of gifts aids currently being proferred?

casper Your rubber bung has just given me a horrible flashback. When my sister was updiffed with her 5th or 6th (I forget which one exactly) she showed me a rubber ring that looked like a slightly smaller version of the rubber quoits we would play with as kids. She said 'This is what I have had to wear up there to stop the baby falling down because of my collapsed cervix.' Her hilarious doctor had apparently said to her 'If your cervix was any lower you could give yourself a smear test.' Everyone still wanting those baybees?

Right you are, cunty .

Are you taking low dose aspirin or any other non-slippery womb treatment????

cunty tentative Yay from me. wanna mocktail from the bar?!

ChoCho what I would say is this - a) but say it like dis: "I know you said sexban but I is bit nuts/ mental at the mo what with all this trying to get updiffed and I wasn't finking straight so we did fuck and I just couldn't risk the chance of being updiffed and not using the treatments innit.

dat is what i would do.

No news from me - am working today - which is ok, but also annoying

woooh cunty! For the love of god stay away from camping shops! I'm thrilled for you. Fyi Scorps when I was diffed my gums bled too... it's a classic sign - n.b., it doesn't count if you just brush your teeth for 12 minutes in a vigorous manner. We must know - what did you do different this month?

Chocho is that true that aspirin prevents likkelangelbaybees?

PS The fucking bitch obviously, on the last thread we only got one baybee, and this caaah's gone and done it

iggy, ChoCho could also play exceedingly dumb and say "oh, I thought you said I couldn't have sex with my husband*

Liking your suggestions re. sexban, thanks folks.

Aspirin is thought to help prevent miscarriage in some people as it thins the blood and therefore allows a good flow through to the womb. Some of us have thicker blood than others, and that is one of the tests they do when you have had 3 m/c s in the UK.

I think the science is as yet inconclusive, because they need to do proper studies, which I would expect would appear before long.

Last time Baybee Jebus took my licklebabyto heaven, the consultant I saw said he would treat me if updiffed again, with aspirin and some other stuff - basically anything that would not do harm - he said he could not start testing for causes until m/c 3, but he could prescribe.

I have self prescribed 75mg per day everyday, and have told my doctor at fertiltiy centre that I wanted to, to which she replied 'I would if I were you'.

Obviously I don't have any allergies to aspirin or conditions that contra indicate, so what the hell!

I would tell me doc though, so you know when to stop taking during pregnancy.

Don't say that ski (even though I thought it too), because I've got my heart set on a birthday-updiff. Me and Lyra both - birthday twins and updiff twins. MAKE IT SO, LORD!

My gums bleed randomly now and then anyway, as have a leedle bit of gingivitis. Which yeah, I know you should get sorted before updiff, but I'm allergic to antibiotics. And aspirin, for the record. Funtime! So now I can add my gingivitis to my repertoire of madness.

Cunty, am v happy for you. I understand your cautiousness, but I am going to stand over here being secretly really hopeful and hiding the party stuff until you've gone 3 months (that stands for everyone).

Did anyone see the Family section of today's Guardian? Dr Luisa Dillner is pregnant with her FIFTH child - at 47. Whilst still, apparently, using contraception. I dunno whether this is BESHpiration or a kick in the teeth. I'm currently veering towards the latter Bloody Drs patronise us about right holes and sexytimes and don't even know how to use contraception themselves

BESHpiration? For what? Lying? Buying ova from 18 year old Lithuanian girls? {seethe}

Just one more thing Ms CuntyChops, I thought you said you weren't SWI this month due to not wishing to give birth to a "summer" child.

Ah, see, I think Cunty has added a new category to the chapter on how Inconvenience Guarantess Updiff: a new job, French holiday and now not wanting a summer child. Worrying about summer child = guaranteed summer child. I also don't want a summer child, but feel that I may well be updiffed too, as if I did it this month, not only would it be a summer child, the baby would probably have the same birthday as my brother, who made my childhood a living hell by being the most godawful little shitbag when we were kids and I will probably have a son born on his b-day so that the 'Universe' can make me work through unresolved ishoos with my brother. Or some shit like that.

Actually, I seriously hope I don't have a son born near or on my bro's birthday, as I probably would unconsciously tar him with the same brush and get freaked out by perfectly normal and nice behaviour thinking he was going to start being a nightmare like my bro and therefore not be as good a mum as a kid would deserve

Soz, that was longwinded and whiny (even more so than usual, yes, I know). Have just had a big gobbet of thick yellowish snot come out of my foofoo - am I allowed to tell myself that this is from the cervical plug developing (DPO3)?

cunty ny love, I'd stay away from caravans and log cabins, as well as tents, just to be on the safe side. Essence of G&T for you then?

Wot we need to do is just talk loads and loads.

and use up the thread really quickly.

like this.

AAAARGH! R2D2 is on telly (The Phantom Crapbucket, on ITV) - is there no escape? Why do they mock us? WHHHHHHY?

So that our beloved mentalist, scorps

can still get her birthday baybee.

Your sacrifice touches my heart, Cosmo. It's Lyra's birthday on the same day too, so she also deserves one. But I'm older, so deserve it slightly more, heheh

Tell you what, I'll have twins, she can have one - that way everyone's happy (well, me and L, anyway...)

Cunty! Moderately excited woo from me. Buy some very expensive underwear and some perfect white cotton sheets immediately.

lyra can have one of the 4 spare ones that choochootrain is going to have.

But camel all of those things would guarantee a blood flow like that predicted by Enoch Powell no?!

Nothing different this time round that I know of - same last month and the butter dish stayed on the table. Well, although I had Hombre in leg-irons a couple of days before I must have ov'd (don't know when this is - assume day 14 as have v reg cycle). Wasn't going to try in earnest till December but then thought I would be setting myself up for assured infertility as my last egg would have been used up in November, inevitably.

Have been treated like a princess today - hounded by the press, invited to AIDS hospices and driven too fast through the streets of Paris to my untimely death.

cunty I wanted to second the low-dose aspirin recommendation - they've put me on it a few days ago, just in preparation for freezer beezers. Any progesterone/estrogen support possibilities?

Just remember: being boring everyday keeps the paparazzi away! On the other hand maybe you should be the hounder and start giving your doc those puppy-dog-eyes. [rolleyes]