30s TTC The Loch BESH Monsters

[CurlyCasper]

Welcome along women of a certain age. The new palace has a post modern water feature, spouting forth gin from a serious of suspicious looking humps...

Ironically , I once ate cougar and it was rather nice!

niiiiice kitty

Hawaiiancuntshine

These are just for you :

Q:What do you call a blind deer?
A:No idea

Q:What do you call a dead, blind deer?
A:Still no idea

Q:What do you call a dead, bleeding, blind deer?
A:Still no bloody idea.

Aww - kiddie jokes! You heart me too, I can tell!!!

It was a beautiful example of the divide between the sexes (and Sarah Palin). I was in the Chilcoltins (Canadian Rockies) trail-riding to see wildlife with a group of girls. The men were across the valley shooting things. I'm proud to say though that we got really bad weather with big snowfall and the girls stayed up in the hills for 48(!) hours longer than the tough men! Anyway, we got to try bighorn sheep, moose, bear and cougar. Moose was my favourite even though I go soppy when I see meese in the wild.

ski

Right, off to attempt to tame the beast. Dog has got so confident since we rescued her a year ago she has recently started fucking off during walks to chase rabbits/squirrels/plastic bags/leaves/figments of her imagination. So off out with my clicker, whistle, long line, treats and steely determination... wish me luck!

Good luck Curly - ours do that rarely but my god does it make us angry when they do.

a dog??? MistressCurly do your worst - keep her in line!

ski why are you soppy over meese?

Q: What do you call a dead, blind, bleeding deer on pollypoo's bonnet?
A: Bambi.

hawaiian because they have such cute (stupid) faces - I feel they're channeling my firstborn! Seriously, I don't know, I just love their big dopey heads and want to hug them.

thot it was Bambi's illegitimate daddy... better read back the transcript

they have a face only a mother could love

dammit - we were doing good talking about road kill and all, don't get me started thinking about the b---eez!

hawaiian How do you know pollypoo's deer was a man? Are you saying that after pollypoo had mown down Bambi's relative that she actually got out of the car and fiddled with its genitals? Where will this depravity end? Won't somebody think of the children?

I can only tell you what I've heard in sworn testimony.

and I quote:

"Look polly you are the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen, but you are married! I can't possibly diddle and do you, even if you did mame me quite properly right in the middle of the road. That's a nice new car, by the way." and it continues like that... tell me that's not a MAN and Bambi's daddy MAN!

The court reporter let it slip to me that polly had actually swerved in a deliberate attempt to hit said Bambi.

I wonder if she took it home to eat... or isn't it deer whom you are not allowed to take home yourself but the car behind you can? Mind you... as if polly follows those rules. Last I heard she was taking the Poo family to Longleat Safari Park becuase she wants a lion for dinner.

the car behind you can also get the starts of maggots...

I'm just saying

Ohhhh now she wants Simba too???

I heard there was a car racing down the M5 with what looked suspiciously like giraffe hooves hanging out the back.

Ski's obviously trying to slander Poo so we don't realise that she actually just pounced on that cougar and ate it live, like a crazed mountain vampire woman.

Can I count weird, vivid dreams where I am a black servant in 60s Mississipi and I fight off zombie employers by quoting Sylvia Plath at them, as a sign of updiff? (I thought I'd vary the madness this month)

Ladies, please be the first to know, with the exception of Hombre, that I am now updiffed. And I knew because my teeth started to bleed spontaneously, and also I tested whilst I was away at a conference again, so it was virtually inevitable.

Please don't congratulate me though - as some of you are aware, it is not the getting pregnant I have a problem with, it is the staying pregnant, so as you were, but I'll have a decaff instead of a full-caff. Droid was due yesterday, so it is entirely possible I won't even make it to the end of the weekend.

break a leg, butterdish, wooden spoon from under the bed,

Cunty, may I proffer a tentative 'YAY!' and a brand-new pack of blu-tack for you to plug up your cervix with? Did you tie a pink or blue ribbon around the wooden spoon under your bed?

Teeth bleeding spontaneously? That's a weird one. Or is it common? I wouldn't know (I WANNA BAYBEE )...

Happened to me the two times previously but apparently it is a common side effect, hence the freebie dental visits. Not that I ever get that far...