30s TTC The Loch BESH Monsters

[CurlyCasper]

Welcome along women of a certain age. The new palace has a post modern water feature, spouting forth gin from a serious of suspicious looking humps...

Hehe.... just found this quote ...

"Vagina dentata is not the title of a song from The Lion King. It is a subject more likely to be treated by the films of Ken Russell than by those of Uncle Walt. To Sigmund Freud, who is often credited with coining the term, vagina dentata certainly did not mean 'no worries.'"

I am now humming hakuna matata but in my head singing 'vagina dentata'. Little things please little minds

Itchy nips just once I tells ye and it's all I'm remembered for And it was after Ov; I may be a loon but I have the dignity to only go menkal after the chucky egg has been, thank you very much

Frejya, have you been rubbing your ovaries WIDDERSHINS? If you haven't, all the well-timed foofoo action in the world can't win you a baybee. And if you think we can get updiffed at our age without a wooden spoon somewhere near the bed, well...

Carrots, Jordan is WRONG. Step away from the freak NOW.

My poor lovely husband has to do three important deals tomorrow and is totally shattered. AIBU to be mildly peeved about all the deformed sperm he will be making due to stress and eating like a teenager? God, I am a bad wife.

ideal I read somewhere on tinternet* that spermz were formed 3 months ago, so it's in 3 months time you need to worry.

*so obviously it must be true.

Cameltoe, if you were any sort of a wife you would've had your first child at least 12 years ago and wouldn't be messing about on here, but instead, be refreshing your already perfect make-up before bringing him his slippers (which you would kneel down and place on his feet for him) and a fine cognac, before letting him talk about his day at work (you wouldn't work either, of course).

Seriously though, this TTC malarkey drives you mad, dunnit? No-one can convince me that cycling to work every day isn't killing off TYF's spermz. I know logically it isn't but the babyhunger isn't a thing of great rationality...

PS Ay up Cosmo! It's grand to see you about the place. And in those tight cycling shorts you know I like, ya dirty minx, ya

PPS Has anyone seen this:

I thought that 'fresh' ones are produced all the time in a copious manner. So you could get him to get 'rid' of the bad ones and there will be plenty of fresh ones coming up behind?

Or is the timing too crucial?

Evening all. Jings, you have been having an "interesting" day on here.

Well, thanks to all your health talk I've signed up to a GI diet. I'm liking the look of it already (cheese not banned!) we'll see if it works...

camel grab the healthy sperm NOW!

'ello Cos. apologies for the non follow through on stalking you today. I iz raaahhhbish!

evening ladeeez

was this introduced for BESHies who want to remain on the fence (for example, this morning)?

Or is it related to poo's AIBU thread?

More random emoticons please! (MN contest idea - emoticons to sum up the blunt piss stick messages)

DD is singing to herself in her cot (super cute).

I am working

aw-rite ther' medz. Howzitgaun?

It doesn't look like a biscuit.

Looks more like summat for Comic Relief. Spose could be a cherry on top. But then it would need a bit of white icing

(mmm icing. who's idea was it to gon on a diet)

Evening BESHies. Have we all taken our St Johns Wort?

Bessie it's clearly a jammy ring. Have you never had one of those?

s'awrite, Curl. Hows you 'n aw?

why do you need an emoticon to say nothing? Why not just.. say nothing?

Talking of jammy rings, how's the updiff going, Cuntly?

(I meant jammy as in lucky, not blood, arrrgh!)

aye, no three bad med

I thought the red bit was sticking out, but of course, 'tis a Jammie Dodger. (doesn't make me crave sweet things any less).

I have a rash in my below bustular region. SFF just had a grope and said tits feel fuller but he's never contemplated the veiny-ness before so has vowed to keep a close eye . They're pretty damn tender, particularly at the base... woofl woofl woofl.

Cosmo you're better at this than me. Do share. Please?

please explain St John's Wort (wot has I missed now? [sigh])

alright thanks scrops Felt better today until I had a Quality Street at 5pm and that set my stomach a-mithering. Managed to force down some chicken soup and a slice of bread but that's enough thanks. Dog tired. Dog dog tired.

Watching Hombre draining a radiator which is a quietly satisfying occupation. Beats scratching at my tits which is the other thing taking up my time...

St john's Wort - anti-anxiety. Believe you take it primarily to calm yourself down

Ah, I see wise one .

That's one way to steer clear of chocs

My head hurts. and my belly. Pain not relieved by having dump and it feels crampy. At 7dpo is this clutching at straws?

(sorry, I'm new to proper WOOFLing and might go on a bit)

Not at all clutching at straws. You're on a very slippery slope though

Hooray! Casper has picked up the proper menkul 2WOOFL baton and is running like a good un.

Hello all. Ta for 1950s housewife image, made me v happy. Apart from the fact that I totally fail to rock the 50s silhouette; just can't get my tits pointy enough.