30s TTC The Loch BESH Monsters

[CurlyCasper]

Welcome along women of a certain age. The new palace has a post modern water feature, spouting forth gin from a serious of suspicious looking humps...

I'd like to echo scorps opinion on the Kai thing. Just keeps going round my head in a coarse scouse accent, starting with a sound akin to the "ch" in Loch (when said properly in Scottish, like). ccchhheeeeaaaaiiiii!

Nice to have ye back offski. I've read your posts here and over there and, with nothing reasoned/lawful/logical, or even humourous, to offer, I say fuck the bastards.

Definite pain and vein visibility in the titular region today, temp back up and crampy pains. Wish the surgery would hurry up and phone back with my blood test results...

Also wish our biggest hopes would hurry up and POAS...

Hugs and whippings to cuntshine. Soon, my lovely stateside friend, soon.

carrots I think you might have asked me something about BF (can't be arsed reading back properly, sorry). But I plan to give it a go, but if I have to go back to the meds I will, at which point we'll have to switch to bottle. My ability to look after my child is the most important thing, and I can't do that crippled by further joint damage.

Thank fuck I'm not the only one with Tupperware strategically placed in the bathroom. And an inability to use it without getting piss on my hands.

When I was OPKing, I would do my FMU in it (before I knew FMU not best for OPK) at about 4am (always wake to piss) then leave it there till I could be arsed dunking a stick in when I got up for the day a few hours later. SFF saw it sitting in the bath once (sans lid cos sleepy = lazy), tried to question it while still half asleep, then just gave up. So romantic "here honey, I've saved you a bowl of urine. Treat me well enough and you might get some snot on a rag tomorrow...if you're very lucky! Love you"

Curly, I broke the news of my droid to TYF by tenderly cradling a piece of bloodied loo roll and saying in a mock (?) menkal voice 'I shall call her Scarlet'...

That sounds made up, but I really did. We share a sick sense of humour. Thankfully (and I made sure there was no blood touching me, OCD fans).

Curly, are you going to be the next winner? Sounds vvvvvv promising! Bloody younguns and their healthy bloody ovaries Nah, not really. Really hope it's good nooz - we need another differ this thread!

Ski, I still have no idea about what's going on viz your legal woes. Pliz to msg me? I am v nosy bored concerned

Cho, I am slightly scared of you LOVING your plan to suck the fertility lifeforce of nubile and undeserving* maidens. Maybe if I rub my ovaries widdershins enough it will just create a vortex powerful enough to bring all the lifeforce to me within a 2 mile radius? Always want the laziest option when using black magic to win a baybee, me. Fuck all that goat's head shit.

*Everyone under 30 is undeserving now I'm 37 and baybeeless. Fuck ME, how can I be 37? Christ on a bike...

Scorp

really???!

So many bodily fluids on this thread. Lovely.

Who's still in line for a babypass this month? Longwee? Carrots (who may technically be dead, or may just need to get to Boots for a new thermometer)? Curly? Who am I missing?

What? Did I go too far? (Ps it was only a bit pink and I did it in such a way that he couldn't really see anything, just guess)

Ski, have seen your thing on FB, dunno how I missed it, durr!

camel I'm on CD20 or so - so I'm a potential for a pass/fail.

oooh ooh ski you're our next hope (giving up that long will actually wee. casp - No, I think breastfeeding your child is FAR more important than your ability to carry them/cuddle them/change their nappy/live your life . Seriously, I think you're amazing going off the meds to TTC - that's giving up so much for a child. Two of my bestest friends who are also the two most incredibly intelligent peeps I know - were fully bottle fed (and born by C-Section) so while I am all for no-chemicals-organic-flowers-natural-birth-breastfeeding, there are limits...

scorp ewwww. Nuff said

ideal reckon I'd better go thermometer shopping, eh.

I think we've got me, ski, CC and weesalong left (not in that order).

Well BESHies, thanks to carrots helpful hints yesterday on how to do maths, I've finally figured out I'm cd10, so need to start some serious SWI tonight and for the next 5 nights at least.

Darling hubbie was in a tip top mood this morning, still seems to be on-board with the whole impregnation plan, so shouldn't need much encouragement tonight.

Of course, he could change his mind and decide to just hand me Mr Rabbit . Men [sigh] they're so fickle.

I will wee, I will! It's just that 14DPO was a massive no, and when I got a positive before I was a week late and only got a really really faint line. So rather than drive myself mental with a no every morning this week I am trying to wait till Friday before I do it again. I was thinking of trying again in the morning but if a 21DPO only gave a really faint line then I figure that 18DPO will hardly show up (if it is a positive) and I will just drive myself bananas with 'is it a line or am I imagining it'

longwee I get the feeling we're not helping your barking. I'm sorry. You wee when you want to, dearie.

blue took me a minute to work out what you meant by hints on maths! A) I'm a maths dunce (ski's your girl there) and b) see (a). Gotcha now anyway.

OK so you're CD10 which is good coz assuming your DS doesn't just throw rabbits at you then you will be behind ski, CC and my end of barking this month. Our hopes will be on you. No pressure.

longwee maybe you should borrow some piss-tupperware. I'm led to believe you need to get at least some piss on the stick before it produces a line

I'm not barking mad yet - there are no Wombles on my common, however (and I have already explained to Cosmosis), I've had a really bad "pulled muscle" feeling in my left oblique since Sunday - like I'd done 100 sit-ups. So sore in fact that I almost turned back on a ride on Sunday. Believe me, I have been nowhere near the gym in oooooh too long to tell you given how much I pay for membership. Also yesterday I was off sick from work have had an incredibly stuffy nose, horrendous gas and "the shits".

Am I:
i) suffering from a 48 hour bug?
ii) 2WOOFLing?

Thanks bbb. Actually the other morning when I was POASing I looked for the pot I left in there for the purpose but couldn't find it. So the nearest potlike thing I could find was the lid of OH's shaving foam . I did rinse it before I put it back....

blooby Rabbits are terrific breeders. I don't know what you're complaining about.

I'm slightly before blue and after ski I think. CD12 anyway.

But this month I've had no ffj when normally have loads and OPK said yes on CD10 which seems a bit early as normally I'm a standard 28 days. Maybe nothing going on this month at all?

Should I start Woolfing now anyway?

whoops meant WOOFling obviously...

ski i think that sounds v interesting....can you POAS yet?

Gah, Wee is going to one of those women rushed into hospital with suspected appendicitis only to find out she's in labour, at this point. I want DPO18 POASing live on youTube, Missy!

Curlers, I was bottle-fed and I turned out okay. What? WHAT? Why are you crying?

My Mum did it for about 4-6 wks, but I couldn't latch on cos of tongue-tie and instead of helping us both with that, they told her that breast milk was dirty, unhygienic and not as nutritious as formula. this was 1972, of course, and she was a naive 24 yr old first time mum.

But enough of my bitterness, the point is that you will be an amazing Mum (in fact - will you adopt me? ) and in the grand scheme of things, the fact that you either bottledfed exclusively or only BF for a v short while will not matter one iota in the face of all the other brilliant things you do for your child(ren). I would try and get a few BFs in in the first few days, as that first milk is really good for babies, but even if you can't do that, don't beat yourself up; you could get someone who BFS their baby but who weans them early onto a diet of salty, processed crap!

Am still a ranty, mardy bitch today, which is great as am using my crampy day off to harass the many fucktards who are being useless in our life (like the council and letting agency). Also, TYF keeps getting unsolicited calls from insurance agents all of a sudden (he's not asked anyone for a quote or even researched stuff online) so I'm enjoying bringing the pain to those factotums stupid enough to blight my day. God, I really am my father's daughter!

haha waspy, no, I cannot POAS yet! I'm not even going to drive myself menkel until the weekend!

I intend to BF in the hope that it'll shift my saddlebags which I once read on the internet, therefore it must be true, are there in preparation for BF and will disappear in a puff of dust the second the baybee latches on. Clearly that won't work and I'll get nipp disease or something.

aww thanks scorps. I was bottlefed too (see how that turned out!) For some reason I have never been able to fathom my parents really aren't fans of the breast route to the extent i'd almost say they are opposed to it . They did pass comment (to me) when SIL chose to BF... (SIL who is diffed and has just had swine flu, poor girl)

Must crack on with some highly thrilling office related activities...

at crappy mum care in the 1970s.

My fav story came from my Gran. Apparently, she was sitting on my Gran's bed at home, after my Gran had just delivered my Aunt. She was wearing a starched cap (as they did) and smoking a cigarette. She was talking to Gran about the new-fangled thing of men being in the delivery room and how she disagreed with it. "After all", she said, "We're not nice ' down there' at the best of times"

Oh and my mum, a former midwife (yes she helped deliver DS ) did have a girl come in with suspected appendicitis and left with a baby. She was about 15 I think and noone, including her, knew anything.

AND someone I know had their 16 year old daughter come in to see them early one morning. She said, "Mum, Dad, I've got something to tell you - I'm having a baby. Now". She'd kept it quiet from everyone, including her BF, until it could be kept quiet no longer.

Next thread title - when we need to think about it:

30s TTC - After all, we're not nice 'down there' at the BESH of times...

haha camel - no wonder our man friends can't do it!

Zactly, Ski. My husband is a bit scared of my vagina dentata. I keep forgetting to take the teeth out...

Afternoon BESHies... quick update before I do the ironing (and who said being a SAHM was dull?!). I am on day 13 and still waiting for a + on the persona, but there is FFJ. I managed to find out what was wrong with TG (he hasn't seen me v much due to work, and when I am at home I am surgically attached to mumsnet ), so we made up last night but I am not holding out much hope as ... anyway, too much detail there. So we will keep trying til we get a + on the persona, and then I will be barking also.

The fucking droid/waiting/SWI/barking roundabout.... never bloody stops. I feel sick... I want to get off. Who designed this crap anyway?

Nipple twists to all, Cuntshine sorry about delay, what a fucker. Scorpy glad you are putting your foul mood to good use. Waspy did you SWI around day 10? If so, join the barking madness. And ChoCho glad you are back with us instead of in cave.