Mid 30s TTC - Simply The BESH... BESHer than all the rest!

[Scorpette]

Come on in, ladies. I've had a widescreen telly installed and there's a big cupboard full of 80s teen movies if anyone's interested. New and more secure cages for our prey are being delivered soon. There's a big picture of a desert over the bar, a loudly ticking clock in the corner and bowls of raisins, currants and sultanas on every table; everything the discerning BESH could ask for...

OMG - you've tracked me down to my home town of Penarth!!!

haha in fact I now know who you are! Remember that programme "Would Love To Meet"? You are the lady from Penarth who bought clothes to match her car and whose dog licked her lover's bottoms.

I can't knock Penarth... swimming in January - ice-cream at the Italian place on the prom. In January.

I loved Would Like To Meet. Take weirdo, force them to be normal = instant relationship funs! Why don't they make it any more?

I don't know that programme but doesn't everyone have a dog who licks your lover's bottom?

Mmm, ice cream. May go there after work...

in honour of the exotic beshies, I'm going to mix a few custom cocktails - complete with brollys cherries and sparkly things. Now, upon which fruit shall we base the BESHexotica drink?

curly Pineapple - better in the glass than ending up on the pizza.

camel I too loved the show - even I, socially inept as I was - was able to cringe at the losers! And know that I could if needs must go on the show and get a date.

laurie We just had a woman turn up at the door to look at the house, she ended up on her back on the sofa getting full-on snogged.

By you ski, I assume??

Oh, forgodssake, Ski. Do you need the nice doctor to explain how to do it again? Lady bits won't help a bit.

I have a headache and am knackered but MUST go to the gym. Please commit some random acts of violence against me to force me our of my lazy ways.

out not our. Fecking headache.

camel If it helps I packed my gym gear in to a pretty bag today with lots of nice smellies to have a good shower afterwards. Went up the stables with the plan of swinging by the gym on the way home. Then realised I'd left my water bottle on the kitchen counter and therefore all bets were off and I was unable to attend the gym.

cosmosis mais, bien sur!

Evening ladies! Day Two of the no-mumsnetting-layout of the new office - sucks! Thank you all for your loveliness Stoopid tests. I explained it all to TSF on the way home last night and found myself welling up a little bit. He was a bit confused but very nice and let me have a long long bath while he prepared dinner - he even popped in once to check I hadn't drowned. And I tried on another new bikini for him and he was kind and complimentary. AND I got to choose what to watch on the telly. I wonder if he'd get suspicious if I got upset more often.....say once a day.....

FB: I've forgotten who you all are - could you please look a bit more like your MN nicknames? After all, I do - being the One With The Moustache.

Bolly all round!

VAG I do look like my nickname - ghostly and curly! See your moustache hasn't grown much - or has it recently been waxed? ouch!

Are we doing an 'identify-me' parade? I'm the one in the pink jumper

Ok, I dearly hope this is right:

Ski likes a good ride
curly (that's me) is, well, curly
scorp has the old lady name
VAG has a 'tache
extreme is in the dressing gown
Cunty has no mouth
cosmo is fully protected and ready to mount an imaginary beast
camel is the smart redhead on the left
cuntshine is in Hawaii
lyra makes waves
skater is self-explanatory
longwee has the fancy name

That's everyone I have.

Ok so cunty does have a mouth - but not in the thumbnails. Pink jumper is better [said begrudgingly with a swift elbow to the ribs]

Cheggers looks like she's expressing getting a BFP via the medium of mime.

Ah well, in that case, I beleive I have a pending friend request with cheggers who appears to be ignoring it...

Yeah, she don't like you , she told me.

and me. She reckons you stole her carrots and made them into penis shapes.

She told me they were butternut squash, not carrots.

Fuckssake the lying little BINT!

Curly, I'd prefer it if you identified me as 'the stunning brunette sex goddess' and not 'has the old lady name'. Even if I have spent my entire life having people say 'Oooh, my gran's called too'.

Lyra, I know your FB pic was of you with no make-up on, wearing an old tracksuit and the minute you succumbed to the BESH presh (pressure), you changed it for a glam jet-setting one where you look like a Bond Girl Although NOTHING is as glam as my 'Onions' pictures. Nothing.

I bloody loved 'Would Like to Meet'. Which they'd bring it back again. Or update it with a new version called 'Must Have Baby' and a team of top experts get a hapless BESH updiffed within 3 months.

I'm clearly going to have babyfail, but part of my brain keeps telling me I could be pg. It's driving me mad. Other part of my brain is giving me an evil panic because OV shifting to a permenently late arrival can trigger perimenopause (Note to self: do no stay up all night Googling worst-case-scenario fertility nightmares). Also, late OV means rubbish quality uterine lining. My friend/boss (also 36 'n' broody as fuck) is already teasing me about aged mothers producing (in her words) 'hare-lipped mongols'; do not want it to be reality.

Am so self-obsessed at mo that am totally bored of self. Have you accepted my friendship on FB yet, Lyra? I wants to do a goooooood stalking

hahaha "Must have a Baybee", contestants for 2010 include:

i) non-ovulating VAG
ii) fatty skihorse
iii) Lesbeans
iv) As old as the hills Ponymum
v) Ill and allergic to everything and probably Rh-ve to TYF's RH+ Scorpette
vi) Lives on Bombay Sapphire & Silk Cut, extremesitting
vii) Too thin Cosmosis and her extreme sports
viii) longwee Lives in Africa - it would be much easier to get pregnant in EU (according to her mum)

ix) apathetic cunty says it can't be before September of the kid will be edducashunilly challenged

Skihorse don't worry I was equally jealous of your equine and your Vail pictures - I'm from Colorado and haven't been skiing in years - still miss it! But who could leave Hawaii in the winter???

I'm still missing a few - but will find stragglers along the way (VAG and Longwee), I suppose.

I did another paltry 20 minutes on the ergometer this morning and I can feel it starting to work! Although the erg is still beating me up!

(I'm the one with the SHINY lights behind my head on FB)