Mid 30s TTC - Simply The BESH... BESHer than all the rest!

[Scorpette]

Come on in, ladies. I've had a widescreen telly installed and there's a big cupboard full of 80s teen movies if anyone's interested. New and more secure cages for our prey are being delivered soon. There's a big picture of a desert over the bar, a loudly ticking clock in the corner and bowls of raisins, currants and sultanas on every table; everything the discerning BESH could ask for...

at camel. I on the other hand am doing a 3 day week for the foreseeable future - so have no school in the morning! Yay!!

gin - can I just ask... why are you sitting around in a new top on Sunday night? You trying to impress someone

hello xtrm, have heard a lot about you.

I've been in bed all weekend, unable to do owt but sleep (this is, like, so not like me); plus still prune juicing. So, you win Ski/Gin I will go to the EPU tomorrow first thing... Can you sort of do BESH prayers for me (i.e. drink an extra gin or summat).

Reading yaw banter has cheered me up though! Pony you slaaaag.

Hang on, are you meant to wash dressing gowns? Mine's so crusty and alive with germs now that we call it Eric and charge it rent.

EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEME! I have missed you "more than words can say" We heart you and your knickers 'o' blood... please never leave us again

Ski I'm 2WOOLFing too - 13dpo today! Am resisting urge to POAS as I have no obvious symptoms, so trying to be all 'yeah, whatever' abut it all whilst willing the droid to stay away thank-you very much.

"Symptoms" - along with reality check

• Sore boobs (get 'em anyway before the droid cometh)
• Few killer zits (see above)
• Bloating/constipation/da shits (see above and also did have strange curry to eat)
• Knackered (but was out after 2am on two week nights and had to get up at 7am...)

You get the picture. Am trying to determine whether I am weeing more, or if it's just because I'm trying to drink more (water! ) anyway.

DH wanted us to go camping this weekend on Friday - I said 'are you crazy, I'm 11 dpo. There's no way in hell you're getting me anywhere near a sodding tent'.....erm, maybe add *crazy irrational mood swings to that list also .

Not sure when the droid is going to appear as he came several days early last month, so I don't know if I should expect jim at the usual time, or on his new "early" schedule.
Hrrmph.

Eh? Who is this Jim I speak of

cunty I put it on this morning because I knew it would be clean.

You want me now don't you? You are all tingly at the thought

It's the smell of Bold 2-in-1 which gets me every time.

Not an issue I have with my own dressing gown of course, as i wouldn't be wanting to turn myself on all the time now would I? I'd never get out of the house in the morning

Good luck dealornodeal. I know what you are going through, but on the plus side, a cold lubricated piece of plastic with a condom on the end is strangely titillating.

And get the nurse to spin the monitor round so you can see - a fascinating insight into your own innards. I found an ovarian cyst!

kimpuff missed your message! Tiredness normal don't worry about that (and by tiredness yes I do mean ' think I'll just lie down on the floor surely no one will mind if I'm not in the way')

however good idea to get continuing prune juice checked. As I said before they're really nice at epu just try and ignore the barely teenage randoms cos they are a bit depressing.

Big big snogs

Good luck kim - I hope you come back and tell me I was worrying about nothing.

Aerie Yes, I too don't care. Also, I fear my "progresterone surge" diarrhea might have more to do with the homemade dahl I made this weekend. Let's hold hands - not like lezbots - well, maybe...

Speaking of faux-lesbots, where is our Bessie - are you OK pumpkin?

Scorpette You know my view on foreskins. Whip it off. Although I must confess jailbait has threatened to leave me if I get his son's whipped off. I've made about a billion mole-in-a-hole jokes and he won't budge on this issue.

cunty well as per what I told you last week, you'll just have to tweet "Cunty is at a conference wearing a super-wide tampax and nursing a babyfail." Although I actually think you will not get the droid at your conference. My reasoning being that you'll be away from your fella right? It's against the law to have the droid when your fella's not with you. Droids are for holidays and special occasions. SWI days are for conferences and being out of town.

extreme More tales of the dressing gown please!

Kim I hope the EPU has good news. Everything crossed for ya

kim Hoping that it's all good news for you.

Afternoon fellow slags and lushes. Extra slaps for those 2WOOFLing.

Hanging in there at this end. Had a fright on Saturday, sitting on the edge of the bed after a bath and I saw bright red blood on the duvet where I had been sitting. Totally freaked and screamed for MrP, who then calmed me down and pointed out that I had cut myself on the back of the leg while shaving. (Was a horrible moment though.)

Was totally mushy and clucky yesterday. I spent the day judging at the local Hunter Trials. The first class was a tiny mini cross country course for the little kids and their fluffy ponies. SO CUTE!! skihorsey you would have gushed eggs on the spot. The ponies could practically step over the tiny jumps, and the adorable little kids were wandering off in the wrong direction and grinning from ear to ear with the thrill of it all. (Though it was not so cute when their mothers were screaming "Use your stick Isabella! HIT HIM!") (actual quote)

kimmy Thinking of you.

WE NEED A NEW THREAD NAAAAME!!

One of you biatches think of summat witty sharpish.

Do you think we should drop the mid of mid-thirties? So people don't feel apologetic at either end of the 30s spectrum?

30s TTC - Loch BESH Monsters

30s TTC - The BESH little gin palace in Mumsnet

30s TTC - Welcome to the House of BESH

30s TTC - Don't blame it on the sunshine, moonlight, good times or boogie. Blame it on the BESHES

30s TTC - It was the BESH of times, it was the worst of times

30s TTC - The BESH gin palace and spa

Oooh la la - I feel idealcamel is putting her professional training to use. I like 1, 2, 5 and 6.

ponymum It sounds both lovely AND hilarious! As for Isabella...

I like the second one. It's perfect!

So camel you're gonna be our hostess with the mostest for the next thread...can we have masseurs?please please please

Fantastic titles, camel! I like 1, 2 and 5.

skihorsey It was so hilarious. Another judge near me was a rotund middle-aged man and he was laughing so much he had tears on his face. He kept saying 'This is the best Sunday's entertainment I've had for months!'

May I join? I'm 36 and TTC so think I'm ok!

Because there's no search facility I can't work out what BESH stands for! Sorry if it's always being asked!

Ponymum - that takes me back . My DS is 5 and I'm thinking I'm way behind getting him on a pony... I started at 4 and have great memories of PC, although even though I was young I clearly remember the "hit him" mums

Last orders at simply the BESH. The new palace is open here

givecarrotsachance Hello and welcome. Come and carry on the conversation...

carrots carrots carrots

Welcome, one of us, perhaps camel if she gets her arse in to gear is going to start a new thread for us any minute now where we will grill you and explain our acronyms. BESH = Bitter Evil Something Hag I think. It's to do with us selfishly delaying motherhood until we weren't shagging pricks or something like that.

I too was in the saddle pretty much as soon as I could walk - it makes me sad now when you read all this "Oh I couldn't possibly let Felicity on a pony unless it was council-safety-approved and she's wearing a duvet covered in NASA-made rubber". Feck it, give 'em a Shetland and giggle behind your hands! We now have FOUR horsey ladies. My mum was not a pushy-mummy at all until horse shows, the memory of her throwing another pound at the judge, blocking the entrance to the ring and her shouting "GET BACK IN THERE AND DO IT AGAIN. PROPERLY" will probably never leave.

Hello Beshies, back after a week of high family drama, much driving up, down and across the UK, and hospital bedside attendance. Pleased to say patient, who was in high dependency, is now on the mend. However, chances of conception pretty much ruined by the 400-odd miles between me and SFF.

Have I missed anything?

camel The Jock in me yearns to be a Loch BESH Monster... Love the titles

Welcome carrots. I'm guessing you might be a fellow ginger - there are a few here! Barman (is it still David?) A bright orange WKD for the Wotsit-head new BESH please